So, this might not be an 'earth shattering' and life changing blog.
But its about something I feel pretty strongly about.
Happiness.
Life is short, we never know what is going to happen at any moment.
My mother is screaming at me, because I want to go to move in with my boyfriend and go to Campbellsville University instead of living with my older sister, who hates the way I look, dress, think, speak and everything else about me, and go to The University of Louisville. I'm not comming down on U of L. I just don't want to go there.
I want to be happy. My boyfriend likes over one-hundred miles away from me, and I hate it.
Campbellsville is a good school that has all of the programs/majors I could possibly see myself going into. Not to mention Campbellsville the town, is a lot like the town I'm from. Small. Which is something important to me, I'll admit I've had a pretty 'spoiled' youth and being out on my own is going to be really hard for me. I've never had to do anything for myself, and I'm very easily intimidated and I'm afraid of everything.
My boyfriend, has his own house, he's lived on his own for awhile now and I think that for me, living with him would be an easy way to coast into being independent. Because he understands I've never been alone before, and he's going to work with me on that, also he's not going to let me quit something I start, he told me if I lived with him then I had to finish college. That no matter what he wouldn't let me drop out or give up.
All of my weaknesses are his strengths, in the academic and the real world. I'm really slow at math, I have a learning disability and math is my worst subject. Math is his best. I am afraid of everything. He knows no fear. He completes me and makes me happy.
But my mother thinks that I am stupid.
She didn't marry the one man she truly loved. She doesn't love my dad not the way she loved one of her "ex's" She gave up her dreams for a guy.
I won't. Nor would my boyfriend let me.
Her constant battering of what I want to do with my life is getting to me. I've had one nervous breakdown already this week, and my boyfriend thinks its all his fault.
It all comes down to, my mother and my sister think the only thing that matters in life is money.
For the record, my sister is about to be divorced, she has a son who she's never around to take care of, because all she does is work. She makes good money, but she's not happy. Her son doesn't listen to her and her family is falling apart.
I don't want that.
I want to be happy, and have a happy healthy family. I think happiness and family are more important than being rich and successful.
So am I stupid?
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I know exactly how you feel. And of course wanting "to be happy, and have a happy healthy family" is NOT stupid! Go easy on yourself, but most importantly, go for what you want!
Thank you very much! I appreciate you reading my blog. : ) and thanks for the advice.
I believe you should be able to do what you want. My mom used to want me to do alot of stupid things like go get fitted for a bra and wear tights to my graduation. Think with your heart and I believe it would be best to go with your boyfriend. Sounds like we live in the same state but i'm not quite sure.( the fact you mentioned lousiville and Campbellsvilles) Money isn't everything it is a proven fact that people that are broke and win the lottery will still have the same happiness level besides the worrying of bills. I believe you family is more important than money. Best of luck!!
Don't let your mother and sister get to you. I know what it's like constantly being ridiculed and put down for what I believe in and for wanting to be happy. Back in middle school, I decided I wanted to be a writer. That hasn't changed. And it took me nearly six years of dealing with my parents pushing me to get into law because "that's where the money is" and "writing will get you nowhere" to finally realize that it doesn't matter what they want. It's MY future. If I'm heading down the road to failure, I'll get there on my own then pick mself back up and turn around. But at least I'll be HAPPY, and I'll learn what's most important in life along the way.
Don't put yourself in a situation that's going to make you miserable. It sounds to me that right now, the best choice would be for you to move in with your boyfriend and go to the college you actually want to go to. But then again, things change, and you may find something better somewhere along your journey through life. Perhaps the perfect college, figuring out what you want to do with your life and having the opportunity to get there, etcetera.
And as you make your decision, I'll pray that you make the right one for YOU.
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.