How do you view yourself? Are you happy with what you see? Myself I have a difficult time with it. Both my parents had difficult times with their image. My Father was overweight and my Mother Bulimic. All throughout my childhood I was overweight. It was interesting growing up. I played soccer, was outdoors pretty often. But through it, I continually ranged about 50-70lbs. heavier than average. The kids at school were rather rude as usual. My mother put me through all sorts of diet programs. While telling me I'm a wonderful individual. My uncle's all called my lazy because I was fat. I was just as active as any other kid on my block.
Here I am, 31. I have managed to drop below 220, I am 6 foot 2. I have never been more slim. I get compliments about the weight I've lost, I see reminders of the weight Ive lost in old pictures of myself. So, why do I still feel bad about myself? Why when I make attempts to say hello I am rebuffed. When I try to perk up and help someone out, it is as if I were trying to steal a purse. Now realize I am bald and have a large frame. I am pretty intimidating I guess, but I approach with a smile to ease the tension and that usually freaks people out more.
I just don't understand. It is getting harder for me to socialize with people, I am constantly thinking of what they are thinking of me. I used to never have such a hard time with it. Forever, I thought if only I could lose this weight. Things would be different. I could live without the anxiety of being teased. That day is here and the grass is the same old color brown. I have worked so hard to lose this weight, and I feel almost heavier than before.
