So, except for the past few years, sexual abuse (especially when considering children) has been sort of thought as one of those minimal problems. Well, finally its come to the forefront. With an alarming 14,000 cases of sexual abuse of children in Canada and 90,000 in the U.S. just for 2003 alone, I think we are finally starting to realize how serious the issue is.
What's even more serious is that the children who are at risk already face many challenges in society and this just adds to it. Usually, the victims of child abuse are young girls who usually have some physical or mental incapacity such as blindness, deafness, or mental retardation. This increases the chance that adults won't believe them when they say they were abused (or in the case of deaf children, they might not be able to communicate it). The abusers are usually male family members or close family friends with addiction problems such as alcoholism and drug addictions.
I think the best remedies are to teach girls when and what sexual advances are inappropriate, to stop the abuse, and to believe them when they report abuse. I mean, you would have to be a pretty clever and nasty five-year-old to try to hurt someone by getting them convicted on abuse charges.
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I knew of a pretty nasty 7-year-old who would have done that, but I think that that is rare. Why would someone ignore a child who said she was being abused? That is cruel, to work up the courage to tell someone that, and then they don't believe you. That isn't something good to assume.
many abuse cases each year go unreported because young children are afraid that grown-ups won't believe them, then their abuser will hear about it and will punish them for it. i've heard cases of daughters telling their mothers that mommy's new boyfriend did something to them, and the mothers refusing to believe them; that disgusts me. the less we trust our children, the more likely they are to be quiet about it. and then their abusers get away with it.
You can't just pile it into the females. Males too, get abused. Maybe by a family member, or a neighbor. I know of a boy who had been by his neighbor. He did not realise it at the time, but now looking back at it, he does. Not just the girls need to be taught about it, boys also. The children are easily swayed to believe it's not wrong, that everyone does it with others like that. They need to be taught early on what's acceptable and not. Regardless of what we're afraid to tell our children, sad story is, the world is full of lies, cheats, disgusting corrupt people, both mentally and morally. Truth is all that will save our future.
-Your Bud and mine
There are plenty of "abuse" cases that, on inspection, turn out to be malicious accusations, often prompted by an ex-spouse, or pure fantasy on the part of the victim. Some skepticism, I think, is quite warranted.
But a very young child would not really be able to make up something like that, and when people completely disregard a 3- or 4-year-old saying they've been abused, it's sickening.
A 10 year old can't even imagine their loving parents doing such vile things. If you suggested such things to a child who had never seen or experienced abuse, they'd think you were crazy. Even the most vivid imaginations cannot conceive of such abuse. Children don't make this stuff up.
And plus, when adult survivors speak out, everyone in the room gets all quiet or people call them liars. What can they honestly have to gain from telling about their experience? Other than a distant hope for justice? Nothing.
*MANY* 10-year-olds will repeat lies if they are programmed to do so by someone they trust. Google "Wenatchee" or "McMartin" or "Fells Acres" if you don't believe that.
Even apart from that, a child certainly may have "seen abuse", by other people than those they are, for whatever reason, accusing.
It is sad that children are abused in the first place, and sadder still that they are afraid to tell adults if they have been abused for fear they won't be believed, because they're "just kids", which is exactly what happens. Yes, I agree that both girls and boys need better education on this.
Some don't say anything though. Besides haveing mental, social, or physical problems another reason that some cases are not reported are because it is a family member and they don't want to get into trouble. Also, some abuse starts so young that the child doesn't know the difference, or they believe it is their fault or that they deserved it.
Some have no idea it is abuse until they are too old and their parents have no clue that it's happening. This puts strain on the child as they become adults.
I have had problems making my mind up on even the simpest tasks. I can function better than my older brother can who only has problems because he is a tad bit slower than some(he has book smarts, but sometimes he just can't grasp simple common sense concepts). Do any of you know people that have been abused to know exactly how it affects those you know? My family just found out recently because I was affraid that if I said something that I would just be pulling the victim card on them. So, I was determined to show them that I can make it on my own without their help, but I was wrong. I needed someone to say to me(besides myself) that it wasn't my fault. I belive that's what a lot of children need: someone to love and trust and reassure them that it was not their fault. Someone needs to teach these abused children to trust again...
Just my thoughts
Amanda