The impossible feat of death defying stunt-tastic impossible awesomeness that’s better than Super-man, Spider-man, and the incre

In a time when things looked bleak. In a school that was located in a parking lot. In a galaxy very close to us… well actually it’s intimately close to us, but not sexually because it has no reproductive organs. But I suppose if you smoke a lot of pot, then you might be able to spiritually have “relations” with the universe. Of course if you do that you know you’re bordering on hippie status in which case I feel obligated to tell you “stop taking advantage of the well-fare system and get a job, why don’t you go work for trader Joes and go live in Santa Cruz… G*dam Bums!!!” But that is beside the point. On
……………………….. it was a day like any other day except that during this particular day a feat of extraordinary events occurred.

At precisely 12:05 during the lunch period at LPS San Jose California. There was static electricity in the air (along with Thursday’s chicken pasta) of a truly life-changing event. On this particular day the law of physics was broken and rewritten. This was a day of biblical proportions. A day that would have slapped Sir Isaac Newton right in the face. It happened in front of the lunchroom, directly across from Mr. Ku’s classroom. The day was overcast and dreary almost macabre. After ingesting the meal of champions (chicken pasta) the leftover wrappers were scattered upon the ground in no discernable order to the normal eye. But one young man chose to be a leader. This young man stood out against the crowd and with hands on his hips and said “I’m gonna throw away garbage, because I’m awesome.” This student was Mike Garza. He has attended LPS San Jose for all four years of its existence. A friend to many, an enemy to few (except me I hate that guy, where does he off looking like a hippie… Batch) He was a child of destiny, created for possibly this one monumentus event. As soon as his hand touch that dirty foil wrapping on the ground a heavenly glow lit up the sky seemingly to shine on only him. Carefully he wrapped his god like hands around the tin foil. Surgically and with utmost precision, folded the foil into a ball. Causally he turned to the first witness of this event Lorenzo Caliva and said “dude, I’m like, totally gonna make this shot…cause I’m awesome.” During this time I was on my way up the ramp to ingest some lunch. As I was on my way I noticed a trashcan on the inside of the door. From Mikes current position (the ramp to Mr. Ku’s classroom) to my current position (the ramp to the lunch room) I stood in sheer awe as Mike causally tossed that fateful foil in the garbage can approximately seven feet away from me. As the foil came upon the ark of its flight travel it seemed to glow not of silver but of gold. The foil began to rapidly descend and as it came toward my head I stood in amazement. Swoosh… the foil had landed into the trash can. Applause roared over the entire school. Cheers of respect and admiration washed over the school that seemed to unite every student in the school. Interviews that witnessed the event were Lorenzo Caliva and Alex Fonseca. Lorenzo had this to say “That was…cool…I guess” Alex Fonseca also added“…I could have easily done that… I just, never wanted to…” Physics teacher Mr. McCrystal said “….That was an impossible shot, like seriously dude I teach physics and I can’t even attempt to explain that…. Totally ridiculous…” This is a day we should all remember. This is a day that will live in infamy… or at least until someone makes, like, a half-court shot, er, something. Still though that was freaking awesome…