I must be weird or something. My friends always tell me about the date that they just went on with the guy they’re seeing, and somehow the words, “He paid for it!” come out. They get that little look on their face like, “Look at me, I have him wrapped around my finger, he paid for it! Aren’t you excited?”… And then they seem to be put off when I just shrug my shoulders.
My boyfriend doesn’t tend to pay for stuff; that’s either my job, or we split it. There’s a reason for this: I get an allowance, and I have a sort-of job. I get about twenty dollars a week, and he doesn’t get any. He doesn’t have a job, and he has a car, so he has to get gas money of some sort… Usually, if he does pay for anything, it’s the gas. Fair enough.
My girl friends think that he’s an awful boyfriend and that I should get a guy who won’t let me pay. Ever. I mean, yeah, it’s nice when we go out and my boyfriend pays – it doesn’t happen often, so that kind of makes it more ‘special’, if you will… But my ex (yes, that one… I know, I should probably start ragging on my other ex-boyfriend from high school, but I’m friends with that one, and he lives right down the road from me… I’d rather not start a feud, you know? Haha) always paid or bought me stuff, and it kind of made me feel like he was trying to give me stuff so that I would feel obligated to perform sexual favors for him (that’s really formal sounding, I know)… And I kind of notice that’s what happens with all of my girl friends – they’re willing to do stuff that they wouldn’t otherwise feel comfortable with because they think they have to. After all, he paid.
Call me crazy, rude, whatever… I have a steady “paycheck”, he doesn’t, I pay. End of discussion, that’s how our relationship works.
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And that's how it should be. My ex boyfriend always paid for everything, but that's because I'm constantly broke, with no job or allowance...
Hopefully that'll change after I graduate...
And that's comin' at ya' from yer local redneck hippie.
That is how it works. People think the guy has to pay. My ex boyfriend would pay for things on occasion. Most the time when we went to In'n'Out we each paid for our own meal. If it was a date I would pay or he would pay. We had a pretty equal relationship and I never expected him to pay. So when he offered it was always a great feeling.
Après la pluie le beau temps. ♥
Drugs!
I do appreciate when he pays, because it almost seems like a little treat, although sometimes I refuse to let him pick up the tab... Or, if he goes behind my back and does it, I don't know what to do with myself (like him paying for both the boutonniere and corsage for prom - on the plus side, they matched! My first matching flowers ever. So pretty...)!
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I remember Prom my junior year... I ended up getting coerced to go, and went with one of my friends on a 'date' of sorts. We were the only ones that weren't a couple, so we sat by each other at dinner and all, and I brought money to pay for dinner, but he insisted on paying. Same thing happened with the same guy my senior year (though that was slightly more formal, and I suppose not as bad, since I had to drive... he didn't have his license). The fact that I was only going with him because my boyfriend couldn't go with me made it a little awkward, though.
~C
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For prom this year, "he" took care of the flowers (meaning he picked them out and his mommy paid, haha), which kind of made me feel useless and weird... But she let me go and help with his tux, so I felt better about that.
As for dinner? They have one at the dance - no options, you have to be there by food time or not at all, even if you don't plan on eating there (and I think this year, they had to pay $55/ticket, compared to our $48, which was up from $40/ticket two years before, with a couple's ticket of $70). Kind of ridiculous, really, but hey, it's prom, we have a new principal and she's changing it all around on us.
(After prom, we went out for a quick snack - I made him pay, since my mom had given him a twenty, and his had, too. Muhaha, I'm evil.)
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Yeah, we didn't have anything my junior year to eat at Prom... we had drinks, and that was it. Our tickets got us a single drink, plus a collectible glass. Tickets were only like $20. My senior year, they had more finger foods, but it still wasn't enough to make a dinner from.
~C
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That would be so much better for us, except that the school is charging us more for dances so that we complain to our parents and they vote yes on the new millage... And then they'll just keep charging more anyway.
Luckily for me, this was my fourth and final prom.
I am so done.
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Duuude. I didn't go to my prom, but tickets were like $60 a person and there were no such things as couples tickets. GASP.
Good thing my principal ruined my prom experience so I didn't have to pay the damn $120 for tickets. Lame.
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You are the Voice of the Childwen of the Revowution! [Toulouse, Moulin Rouge]
I didn't want to go to prom this year (I went to them my freshman through junior years), but my boyfriend begged me and my mom got me a "dress"/bought my ticket for me...so I was basically forced.
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I think it's best when couples can either take turns paying, or split as often as they can. A relationship is a joint effort, so costs should be managed that way as well.
i do not see anything wrong with paying for outings, as long as your comfortable with that, when i was in high school my last serious boyfriend and i would always take turns, it make it equal.
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I see no problem in paying for the actual date itself because I have an allowance, we don't really go out all that much (we just recently started hanging out every weekend, and we usually spend time at the mall, just chilling, or at his house, watching movies), and he has car expenses to pay. He gets the gas (now up to $4 a gallon, and it takes one to get from my house and back to his, so $8 per seeing me trip, unless we go from school/I get dropped off at his house), I get the date cost (which is $10-$20; if we don't go out, I buy him a gallon or two of gas)... With both of our "incomes", it evens out.
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just out of curiosity..where are you from
?
?????
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Midwest, specifically MIchigan. :)
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Yay for the Midwest!!
Heck yeah!
(I can do without the weather, though; can it PLEASE make up its mind as to if it's gonna be a blizzard, 85 and sunny, 95 and humid, a hurricane... I'm asking for consistency, here. And better roads. But consistency it nicer.)
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