Brain Indigestion

Everyone spends their lives seeing bad things happen to other people without actually seeing those things happen to people. It all seems fictional. The complex idea that something bad could happen to you is always dismissed. You go around without a care in the world, and what happens? Something goes wrong, and you think to yourself..."I never thought this would happen" or "I knew this happened to people, but I never thought this would happen to ME". Well that's what you get for being an idiot. Think about it...when your in your car and an ambulance comes roaring behind you, what's the first thought that comes to your head? "Crap I have to pull over"...do you even, for one second think about who's in that ambulance...or who got left behind by it? Who's life is being screwed with? I am so tired of people who just don't care about anything.

You [reader] might not care about anything, so answer me this, "Why? Why do you take up space as a useless object without a purpose in life if you're not here to make this planet that we all have to share with you better?" The amount of people who care are outweighed by people who don't. It's difficult for me to understand, but then again, I don't understand a lot of things that are so normal to the entire human population. For example...fights, violence, war...what good come from any of these? All they remind me of are death. What good comes from death? You get in a fight and beat someone up (or the other way around) and...? What? All you've accomplished is injurying another human being...Congradulations? Is that suppose to be impressive? War? Don't even get me started on war, because it is one of the most ridiculus pointless acts you could ever take part in. What do the leaders of the countries that fight end up doing in the end anyways? That's right, talking out their problems and making treaties...so why go to war at all? Why let your citizens which you are suppose to protect, go off and kill themselves in your name? I don't understand why it's so difficult to sit down and talk it out like the reasonable adults a leader of a country should be. If you can explain to me the purpose of violence, go ahead and be my guest.

I am honestly just so sick of nearly everyone. Today I was in the parking lot of Walmart sitting in my car looking through a book I just got at the library waiting for my Mom (I'm not a fan of Walmart and would rather read). Suddenly I see a figure out of the corner of my eye standing right at the driver's door. I look over and see this guy trying to break into my car. I look at him waving my arms yelling, "What do you think you're doing?!" he looks at me surprised, obviously didn't even notice I was in the car, puts his arms up in the air (in a surrendering motion) and walks away. So I'm looking at the side-view mirror on my side (passenger side) and I see him walk over to this old semi-rusted Mazda, obviously, if you know what my car looks like (silver grand cherokee jeep) you know that they didn't get my car confused with thier car. So I see him fiddling with the passenger door until he finally gets it open, climbs inside, and I can't even tell if that's his car or not. He was being suspicious and he suddenly disappeared underneath his steering wheel, the only thought in my head at the time, "Great, he's hot wiring someone's car..." Then I call my mom, who gets security out there, eventually. 20 mins later, just as my mom was getting her door open, he gets the car on. I point the car out to her, and we decide to try to follow him long enough to get the license plate #. We notice the security guard and decide to talk to him instead, we've just pulled into that 4-way intersection and we're coming from (for an example's sake the south) and he pulls up from the "east" and we tell the security guard that that's him, and they guy laughs at us as he drives off.

It was crazy, I don't even know what eventually happened to him, but it all goes back to my original tangent. People never think that bad things could happen to them. I am so lucky he backed off...what if he had a gun? What if he took the car with me in it anyways? What if both those things happend? What if worse things had happened? Who knows if I would even still be alive. Everyone takes everything for granted. In the past 2 years everyone 5 out of the 7 people in my immediate family have had to go to the hospital because of a serious illness of somesort (my mom=galbladder, brother-in-law=epileptic seziure, brother=appendix, dad=new kidneys now also suffering from chronic failure, little sister=seziure). Am I and my older sister next? Should I be extremely cautious and avoid everything in life? I don't know. I can't say what's going to happen next, how the hell am I suppose to know, all of my family's illnesses could have led to death, maybe I'll be the one that dies. Maybe it'll be my older sister [].

I feel like my life isn't even mine, like I have absolutely no control over the events at all. How can I create my own destiny? I can't, I don't think so at least. But then I guess I can. I don't know. But then again, I don't want to know. I like not knowing. While people could call many of the things that happen to me unlucky, I personally wouldn't. My family is still alive (most of them) and I'm grateful for having them. Near-death experiences cause you to realize that you take everything and everyone for granted. No matter how hard it may be, I still love everyone, no matter how they've hurt me, angered me, etc. Even if they hate me, I could never hate anyone. Hate is such a ridiculous emotion. Someone asked me earlier today what I would do if someone I hated died, and I only truly extremely dislike one person, and even if they died, I would still feel bad. Maybe not for them, but at least for their family, and the people they are leaving behind.

So about now you're asking yourself "Why the hell did I waste my time reading all of this?" well, you tell me. My guess is that you're bored, or avoiding homework, or just felt like it.  But the point of this whole mixture of tangents is: Take nothing forgranted. Love everyone. Don't be violent.