Is it considered failure if one never marries or has kids? Why is it that if a couple decide not to have children, people start to wonder about them? They assume they have a fertility problem or something. If one decides against marriage they may wonder if the person is homosexual. I see this all the time...maybe it's because I'm from a rural community full of Dutch farmers who grew up in giant families...who knows?
All I know is that I hate the thought of spending the rest of my life cleaning up after people. I spent a couple weeks playing 'mom' while my mom was away, and I could see why moms get so frustrated. It was absolutely awful.. there's so much demand and so little appreciation. Do I want to knowingly put myself into that position permanently?
That's my main reason for not wanting to get married, there are others but I won't rant on here. Save that for Myspace lol.
But when I tell anyone that...especially anyone within my family, I feel like they strongly disapprove. They don't really say anything...it's like it's a crime to want to be free...does that make sense?
I don't know if other people can relate to this, I'm sure most can... and it's the same thing with having kids.
There is just so much pressure for people to have kids, and like I said before, the idea of not wanting kids seems to get a very negative reaction. Why do we all need to have kids, though? Our population has exploded in the past few decades or so, and more and more of the planet is being ravaged in order to support them all. Shouldn't we be cutting back, if anything?
I read an article in a McLeans magazine a while ago that said that women are working more and not having kids...and that the government wanted to give financial incentives to encourage women to reproduce.
So am I wrong, then? If so many women are not having kids (or having them much later)...is it really a personal choice, or will people actually pity me a few years down the road when I don't have kids to talk about?
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I think it's your personal decision if you chose to not get married or have kds. You'll definitely have less stress in your life, and less to worry about financially. But I think it's surprising to all to hear because America is all about the "American Dream", which is the perfect life style, going to school, getting a good paying job, getting married, then having kids, and watch them do it all as well. There's ups and downs to having kids, ofcourse it's not a smoothe ride the whole way through. But I completely understand where you're coming from.
I dont see anything wrong with not wanting to have kids nor to get married. Hell if you were to get married you'd probably get divorced. I'm not saying that to be mean, you know in todays society they say 50% of marriages turn to divorce.
I was married and I have 2 kids. I didnt plan on having kids but I have learned alot from them. I don't want to get married again I have no problem living with my boyfriend for the rest of our lives.
Don't let anyone bring u down, this is your life. You make your own decisions for you.
Honestly, i think 2 reasons that divorce rates have gone up so high is because:
1. women are less tolerant and more aware of their rights and personal freedoms
2. less religious influence on peoples lives, so divorce isn't frowned upon like it used to be
"If one decides against marriage they may wonder if the person is homosexual." - I don't think this is true anymore since homosexuals are speaking for their rights to get married. lol.
I agree with you completely. Somehow, people manage to think that their purpose here is to reproduce...which is not a bad thing. At least we know human species will continue living. But there is overpopulation as well. Too many people are having sex carelessly. Personally, I want to live my life to the fullest without having mini me to slow me down. If I want to settle, maybe I will with the right guy or girl. I can always adopt a child. Why do people care so much about how I should lead my life?
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I think it's your choice, as well...and I have a lot of respect for you in that sense.
I wish I could sit here and say that I wanted to be dependent enough to be with someone but independent enough to know that I could walk away if I needed to. But don't we all wish we were that strong? You must have a will unlike any other if you can go against society's norms and traditions.
But you're not a failure because of it. I would actually think you were above the rest rather than below.
=)