I never understand that now a days that the nice guys are the one finishing last, or not finishing at all. I have had relationships that because i was so nice, i get taken advantage of. I am the one always running errands for her and doing other things. Then the relationship never works out for me. but then you see all these girls who are date these guys who are dumb asses and treat them like shit, but when the nice guys get ran over and treated like shit. I just dont get it anymore. Why is being nice not working anymore. And it makes me mad cause i cannot treat a girl badly. I was rised to treat women with respect and not to yell at them, hit them or anything like that. I just hope that there are girls out there that will take a nice guy and not treat him like shit
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That's so true way too often women treat the nice guys like crap, and then they wonder why they are unhappy. Most of these relationships are the most unhappy people you will ever meet. Remember if the girl is going to treat you that way you probably wouldn't be happy with her anyway.
yeah, i have learned that now. It took me a while but i now i know.
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i agree with your thoughts on nice guys finishing last, i think that it's because of the time we live in. everyone is obsessed with getting boyfriends who look "handsome' like the ones plastered all over magazines or the ones in the big popular movies.
its hollywood's fault, but i think that one day, things will change and girls will realize that they shouldn't been nicer to the nice guys.
when girls get older, they age faster than men and its more likely that a man cheats on a woman because of that. .. so in reality, nice guys dont finish last the mean girls do
I disagree with this whole heartedly. It's not Hollywood's fault one bit. I'd be willing to be that nice guys have been finishing last since the dawn of human civilization, and have it much better off now. It's mere animalistic instinct left over. Males who are aggressive stand a better chance of surviving, just as people who are aggressive in modern times are the confident types who are more likely to get good jobs. It's no coincidence that a lot of people think that their boss is a jerk. There's a good chance they are.
Of course there are exceptions to the rule, and I've certainly come to see that once females start getting into their mid to late twenties they tend to realize who the nice guys are and not get trapped into the lust for a bad boy type. I've always considered myself a nice guy and have been on the brunt of many let downs because of it, but in the end you just have to realize that in our times it's not a bad thing, and ride the wave out. Things will get better.
-Tim
"It costs nothing to be honest, loyal, and true."
I'm not sure if I agree or disagree. And I'd like to point out that not all handsome men are mean and cruel. I think my boyfriend is the most handsome man alive, and many girls would agree with me (lord knows he gets hit on all the time). He's also the perfect gentleman... the type that insists on opening doors for women and paying for dinner and that sort of thing.
Then again, a guy that had a crush on me in high school is, as far as I know, still single. But that's not because he's nice... it's because he's not confident. He waited until I had moved across the country before telling me that he would've liked to have gone out with me. I imagine he does the same thing with all the girls he likes. If he was more confident and actually went up and asked them to go on a date, he might not be single now.
I know another 'nice guy' from high school... he treats women very well, and has had plenty of girlfriends, which only last a few weeks before one of them loses interest. It's not a matter of him just being too nice... they just never click. I think the last bad breakup he had was when he broke up with my friend just before my senior year in high school. And she changed dramatically just before that....
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I don't know you, so I can't say for certain what kind of person you are. But its common for guys that consider themselves nice to lack assertiveness. A guy can be as sweet as can be, but if he lacks confidence it makes him less attractive to smart, attractive girls and leaves the door wide open for shallow, mean girls to walk all over him.
My boyfriend definitely fits the nice guy category, and I consider him one of the best things that ever happened to me. I try never to take for granted how lucky I am that I landed such a great guy. This should show you that there are smart girls out there that realize that nice guys are the ones worth going after.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
yeah, i have assertivness. It's just those girls who like to take advantage of guys. I guess i am too much of a gentleman. I always like to see the girl happy and try to help her. But i think my past Ex's have seen how nice and helpful i am, and used that to their advantage. but i have learned from that. I guess only way to learn is from your mistakes
Coming from a nice girl's perspective, the reason that the nice guys are coming in last is because they are dating all the wrong girls who are not going to care for and respect them!!! Take an evaluation of the girls you have dated. What made you want to date them? What qualities did they have that would make you attracted to them? Here is a bit of advice followed by some encouragement: First of all, all the nice girls are wondering and waiting for all the nice guys to ask them out! You are not forgotten; we are just waiting for you to get done dating the stupid girls out there!!! Secondly, all the girls who are really worth it are not going to treat you horribly; they are going to respect you, take care of you, and really want to make you happy. Those are the nice girls who are looking for the nice guys. Maybe you are just looking in all the wrong places....But be encouraged, when you find that gril, she is going to love you BECAUSE you are so nice and suddenly you wlll find that you are in the winner's podium, not in last place!
Bekka Joy
aww, well where am i supposed to find a nice guy, around me, all are taken :) but don't give up, one day a girl will know your worth and she will never ever take advantage of you, and it will be a mutual give and take realtionship. Just learn not to ever give your heart or any material thing to anyone if they are not giving you equal things in return. I mean I don't want anyone to ever feel they are being used in a reltaionship..
Above All - Do no harm
thank y'all for your comments. I am actually dating this girl now.. And it's only been a few weeks, but she seems alot different from the other girls i have dated. It's not one of those needy relationships. We are just dating nothing serious, but you can tell. So i am hoping this one last, cause it seems like i have found me a nice girl. I guess i will see...
Part of being "nice" is that when we say that, we tend to imply a sort of blandness. Yes, they're nice and that's all wonderful, but generally, there's that lack of a spark in the relationship. Remember that there is a difference between being kind and being nice. And you'll get your turn when the girls are interested in a family since the bad boys aren't going to be the ones that we're going to want a family with, but the nice boy that we know will come through for us.
and i completely agree.
alot of women are just stupid and have their heads up you know where.
one of my ex girlfriends did that to me. granted we had been dating off an on for 5 years but the last time we went out i would go to her appartment on the weekends to be with her since she was still in school; and she would leave me there by myself or with her roomate and go out and party with dudes that i didnt even know. and all this didnt really bother me, it was the fact that she told me the first night we started dating again, "if you ever cheat on me all i want is that you tell me." its like she planned on cheating on me from the begining. And i am a "nice guy" but i can be an asshole too. its important to let your partner know when something upsets you. and you should always try to get what you want out of a relationship even if it is just physical. the key to life is balance. and it takes understanding for balance. and it takes communication for understanding. relationships are very exciting but some people only see the physical benifits and dont recognize the emotional stress they put themselves through until its to late.~}chatiks si chatiks{~