A Fine Society

Society is such a sad place. There is so much that is miserable and ugly, so much fighting and hatred in people, homes, and countries. However, instead of acknowledging this and trying to fix this, society sticks its head in the sand. I see people who wish so desperately to create a new reality, but refuse to acknowledge this ugliness or change it into something better. What these people don’t seem to recognize is that in refusing to acknowledge or change the ugliness in it, they accept it.

I see it so often in conversation. In passing, an individual says “Hello! How are you?” The expected and eternal reply is “I’m fine, how are you?” After that, the first will reply that they too are fine. This is not because that is, in fact, the truth. This response is generated because it is an unspoken rule; the other individual does not actually want to know the truth. Of course, conversation will continue on to jobs, which are fine, significant others, who are fine, and future plans, which will be fine as well.
It seems to me that society has trapped itself in an added dimension of fine, a place where everyone and everything is fine.
Isn’t that fine?

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I am going to have to disagree with the first paragraph of your blog. You advocate that people should create this alternative fantasy world to appeal to, yet the consequences of the creation of this world outweigh the benefits. The first huge consequence is that this makes people perpetually dissatisfied because they should always look for what is bad and try to get rid of it, rather than enjoying what they already have. Second, the fantasy worlds that we create are almost never as good as we imagine them. Take automobiles for example. If our world today was what the people of the 1890s though was the perfect world, then they must have been easily satisfied. But the truth is that fantasy world that we create is often unattainable and ends up being worse than the status quo, empirically proven by cars.

I'll make a few points here, although I'm afraid we might be talking around each other, not exactly on the same issues.......

First, I will agree with the overall thrust of this entry. American civil culture places too much emphasis on feeling or at least appearing happy, and when one is not happy, on repressing negative emotions and maintaining a cheery attitude for others' sake. And yet I have the nagging feeling that this is somewhat inaccurate. In conversation it's fine to present negative emotions as long as they're just minor annoyances or something, and not deep discontents.

In any case, the strongest point we have here is against the superficial chatty little greetings. I think you'd have a strong case for replying to a 'how are you?' with a friendly smile and, "Really fucking shitty! How about you?"

I think it should be mentioned that discontent is appropriate because things could be so much better---and not necessarily because things are so bad now. I would caution simply concluding that 'society is such a sad place.' I wonder if this is a real conclusion drawn from examining all the facts, or a product of the bad things you'd seen or felt that day.

Accordingly, we can dispute ngiant's arguments. Ngiant, you're saying that raising our expectations of the future would cause so much pain that it would outweigh any benefit we'd earn. This is nonsense! Don't be so conservative! It's human nature to be hopeful! The future exists because we dream of it! Are you saying people shouldn't hope? Perpetual dissatisfaction fuels progress! If you're going to maintain your attitude, at least stand clear of the big thinkers and be more cautious of telling people to be content; let others do what they will, and beware of closing minds to possibilities.

I can also dispute your point concerning cars. While they were being developed, it was asserted that it was physically impossible for cars to exceed thirty miles per hour! They thought that the car would disintegrate, or that the passengers would die because of the wind or something! Now we have ultra-modern cars that are incredibly safe, efficient, and speedy. To point to another example, the Internet has so vastly changed out lives, and it's such an earth-shattering technological innovation. Are you certain that our ancestors of 120 years ago had already dreamed of all this and much more?

Would you grudge the sun for its brilliance?

Michael Allen Yarbrough (PBUH)

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