And sometimes, you just cry…

As I sit in my mother’s living room, I watch as my sixteen year old little sister and her five very loud mouthed friends clown around. I watch as they whisper and joke and dance with one another. I watch as they pick up one of their many cell phones and began to dial one of the boys they call themselves liking this week. I watch as they run up the stairs because it’s embarrassing for them to have an adult looking into their lives and I began to reflect.

I reflect on the fact that the CDC said there are 1 out of 4 girls with an STI. I reflect on the fact they estimate 65 million people in the US have an STI. I reflect upon the fact that my little sister’s school prefers for funding purposes to teach abstinence-based sex education. I reflect on the fact that my little sister- the girl I played with, burped, joked, and got mad with- is growing up.

She has a boyfriend…or at least that is what she calls him and I feel a little struck down with fear. Fear of the sadness that accompanies when a child (or adult) is not taught to value or take care of themselves and their body. Sadness reminiscent of a time, that while teaching sex education I had a 13 year old girl ask me how she could go and be tested for an STI without her parents going with her because it hurt when she peed, but not as much as it would hurt for her mom to find out. Sadness like when her sixteen year old sister asked me what was the best way to tell her mom she was pregnant. Sadness like when one of my mom’s best friend- and the woman who taught me to actually like oatmeal- died from AIDS passed to her by the man she loved.

The bonus op asked for us to tell what progression looked like to us. Progression to me would be when that fear…that sadness will dissipate and people would be willing to be honest and learn from the things going on around them. My favorite definition for progress is the one that states “the development of an individual or society in a direction considered more beneficial than and superior to the previous level.” What would be more beneficial then for us to help others keep from getting the many STIs and HIV/AIDS that causes irreparable damage to their own, their friends and families lives?

HIV/AIDS and STIs are preventable and treatable. With the right amount of education, funding, etc. we could help save both the physical and the psychological welfare of millions... trillions. To me there is no more beneficial direction that we could have in this life. There is no greater progress then lower the rates of every possible sexually transmitted disease here in America and abroad. To me progress would be the moment I have no more little girls calling my office (she kept my business card) to tell me that she had herpes. There would be no more teens like my sister, so worried that they would be judged by the adults around them, that they could openly talk to them about their feelings and get the information they need. They could be taught the things necessary for them to have long and healthy lives.

Progress is the opening of the minds and people around the globe need to open their minds regarding people’s sexual habits and/or desires. For me progress would be when the CDC STD Surveillance Report said there is a decline in STI rates, not the rise of them. For me progress would be when the tears stop from the many deaths caused by AIDS. It’s hard to hear the tears of mother’s when they find out their children have a viral infection that cannot be cured. Somehow we forgot that sex has been around since the beginning of time. And worse we sometimes forget that death and heartache can be right there with it. And sometimes, you just cry because of what we haven’t done. Progress would mean that no one would have too.

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Tori13's picture

It's definitely a sad thing that so many teenagers are having sex and getting infections or becoming pregnant because of it. Whatever happened to hanging out and going on dates? It seems like all people look for is someone who will sleep with them. Our society just seems to be pushing that into people's faces. With sex everywhere, it gets planted into the minds of our youth and they think it's ok to be a part of that crowd. I'm glad that people and organizations are starting to take the initiative to stand up against this trend and promote abstinence. I personally don't think people should have sex until they are married, because then you don't have to worry about all of these negative things. What is so hard about waiting? I guess I don't really understand because I think that you can be totally in love with someone without having sex with them.

BurningExample's picture
Volunteer for the Progressive U Alumni Association

I dunno... the point I got from Caramel was that Abstinence only education is part of the problem.

I may be wrong...

----

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Bridge's picture
Member of the Progressive U Alumni Association

Well said.

I was a little confused when you used the term "STI" instead of "STD". STD =Sexually Transmitted Disease, so what does STI stand for?

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    Sexually Transmitted Infections....It's the same thing except most med professionals and the CDC are trying to separate the bacterial and viral versions of the STD/I. It just means some are cured through antibotics, others arent.

    For example, HIV/AIDS and HPV are viral so they would be an STD. Chlamydia is a bacterial so they would be a STI.

    Calling all STI just makes it easier for everybody.

    Sorry if that messed you up.

    WoW this was well put. I'm a teenager also and it's also saddening to see girls my age go from boy to boy. Guys messing with their head saying "I Love You" the girl gets so flattered and decide to sleep with him. It's horrible. When the guy leaves them they just find someone else to break their heart again. And the sad things is guys aren't always the one to blame the girls like sleeping around. The call it "having fun", "chilling" and "kool". But it aint so cool when it hurts to pee when you i haven't seen your period in months or when you start itching down there.

    KellyGay's picture

    It is good that people today - at least some - are as concerned as you are. The ball is in your court to make sure (or at least try to) that your little sister protects herself and respects herself too in order to not become a stat in the near future.

    KeLz!

    KeLz.... believe you me I am trying.

    Ljasp's picture

    That's a beautiful concrete example illustrating your concept of progress. Perfect!

    Okay.. hold on for like three seconds here. I am a high school senior and I took sex education from 4th grade through 10th grade. Yes, I agree the rate of teen pregancy and the astoinishing rate of teangers with STDs' is quite overhelming. First off sex is a emotional place of security for some people and a party rush for others. The sex talk needs to change from the boring abstain from sex and the standard way of teaching preventative measures. Because bombarding me with information just made me want to sleep and made me more uncomfterable then before. If adults want students to feel more comfterable about talking about sex it needs to be approached the the same way a student talks about it. In a relaxed enviorment talking about the facts is great and should be used but approaching sex as a subject of shame is proving not to work. Sorry if this affends you or doesn't follow what you beleive but it is just the observation of a high school student stuck in a world that is talking two different ways about the same subject.

    ...with that. At my old job, we started each session with them naming acts, parts, etc. and we used the words they said to describe everything, but we did tell the real terms too. So I completely agree with you on a more comfortable way to teach them.

    I just wish the rest of the world was more comfortable talking with them about sex in general.

    I have a little cousin, who has been raised as a sister to me, and I can see both sides of the equation. I read this as though you were saying it's a horrible thing that we're passing out abstinence only education in our schools and I agree 100% with that, if only because kids are going to have sex and if we don't teach them anything then we're setting them up for disaster. We're kicking ourselves in the shins and then scratching our heads in wonder about why the world is in such disarray. The world is a crazy silly place in that way, but at the same time I agree that it seems insane that 13 year olds, which are children in our society are having sex and participating in activities we consider to be reserved for adults. But, going back to ancient times, they would have been adults, they would have been mature, its the reason their bodies still mature far before the time we're ready for them to. We have to find a balance somewhere, I don't know where that is, but I do know that we have to figure something out or else things are really going to get out of hand.

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

    Did you ever hear anyone say, "That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?" ~Joseph Henry Jackson

    LizzieD

    Sorry, I'm at work and I got distracted. I meant to say that I also think that sex is nothing to be ashamed of and we really need to get to a point where that is the norm. Kids need to feel like they can comfortably come to their parents and talk to them, because that is what I see to be the biggest part of the problem. Not to mention, we need to not allow religions, even if that is their beliefs, to alienate something that is a vital part of human life. I know that for the longest time, even still a little now, I've felt like it was something dirty and wrong when it's just not. We need to overcome that as a society, because until it becomes something that's as natural as it actually is.

    Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so, too. ~Voltaire

    Did you ever hear anyone say, "That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?" ~Joseph Henry Jackson

    LizzieD

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