I write poetry, quiet often... but it's not so good, but despite my lack of confidence in it, I would like some constructive criticism on it. Mainly because there was a contest I wanted to enter but I missed my chance for lack of confidence. So if you could give me some ideas of what people actually think, or maybe some advice on how to make it better that would be great.
In light cast by darkness
Darkness, night
takes my heart, takes my sight.
All thought, all reason.
A heartbeat in darkness,
a slow steady march.
Taken by force, far into blackness.
Bitter cold breath, in times of regret.
She's gone.
Emotionally torn, from existence.
She took me, pulled me into darkness.
Now I wander,
and wish,
I had her pain,
and she did not.
death of a hope
From death to death,
from light to light.
In the cursive of tears,
I write a song.
my life runs free,
as I stay caged,
hoping for escape.
I cannot run,
only you can help,
if only I knew who you are.
I stay trapped in this dream
for life,
and hope,
and death.
I am trapped.
Lost
Looking out at the velvet sky,
dusted with tiny stars,
I begin to wonder,
how far out heaven is to me.
I reach out as if to grab an angels hand,
and be flown there.
My mind begins to wonder,
though,
at this thought,
and it occurs to me,
maybe heaven is very close and I am far away?
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They all sound pretty good to me. There is one thing in your first poem that I don't get. Are you talking about love and the pain buried inside?
No, not really, but I like my poetry to mean something different to everyone. Plus the story behind that one is huge.
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~.Pathetic.Fallacy.~
"Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservations"
I think you are on the right track. Poetry takes a lot of thinking and one ends up with
very few words to express a mamoth idea, etc. The more you write, the more confident you will become. One way to improve yourself, this a favorite tool of mine,
is to write poems following specific rhyming schemes, syllable counts, and so on.
I have found that a web site called poetry forms and terminology to be an invaluable
to help me grow as a poet. I found I really like nonets and double nonets, they are a blast to write! Good luck. Just write, write, write and don't forget to edit, I have never claimed to be a great writer, but I am one heck of a rewriter.