This is a short piece of satire I wrote for my lit class about the ridiculous relationship we have with food here in the United States. Consider it a commentary on society or just a random essay poking fun at food and dieting. Maybe it will make you think. Hopefully it will at least make you laugh. I'd love to get some feedback about my writing and how I can improve it. Enjoy!
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There are those among us who will strive to achieve the impossible. Not content to remain blissfully plump, they will plunge themselves into despair as they wage war on their weight and struggle to attain the perfect body. Joining the battle of the bulge today is our heroine, Nicole.
The goal is to lose weight rapidly without exerting too much effort. She considers her options. Counting calories? No, there’s too much math involved. A trendy diet like South Beach or Atkins? Those already went out of style. This will not be easy. In the distance the Golden Arches stand gleaming in the morning sun.
A group of friends is informed of her crusade over lunch that afternoon. They chatter excitedly and offer words of support and encouragement. ‘I’ve always thought you’d look better if you lost a few pounds!’ The conversation is interrupted briefly when the waiter appears. All eyes are on Nicole. The moment of truth has arrived. “I’ll just have bottled water please.” The waiter lingers, waiting for more specific directions. “What kind of water would you like?”
People pay top dollar for their water here. There are many varieties to choose from, each pretentiously packaged and promising to be an improvement on nature. The water we drink is flavored, fortified, caffeinated, carbonated, percolated and purified. One company has created Smart Water that is specially formulated to prevent your brain cells from drying out. Another manufacturer provides us with Skinny Water that they guarantee is calorie free. Nicole opts for the last, most promising variety.
While her friends munch contentedly on bread, she looks out the window towards the Golden Arches and tries to ignore that annoying, empty feeling inside. The waiter returns bearing plates laden with enough food to feed a small African village. Her associates clean their plates obligingly. After all, to leave food untouched would be wasteful. She sips her water and watches enviously while they gorge themselves.
No one goes hungry in the land of plenty. Unless they’re on a diet.
She manages to avoid temptation and persevere on her campaign against flab for an unprecedented five days. And then it happens. While driving home and gnawing discontentedly on a celery stick, she sees the Golden Arches on the horizon. Her resolve crumbles and she pulls in, ready to admit defeat. The glow of the drive-thru menu illuminates the popular meal options, each full of artery-clogging goodness. Food, glorious food! She looks at the menu and salivates, trying to decide on the terms of her surrender. The voice of a disaffected youth breaks through the static.
“May I take your order?”
“I’ll have a double cheeseburger and a small order of fries please.”
“Would you like anything to drink with that?”
“Hmm…better make it a diet coke.”
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These are truely words of wisdom! Or may I say words of truth! I am an overweight woman. I weigh quite a bit more then I should. I have been tring for years to lose the excess weight that ladens my already burdened body. Burdened from the ridiculous amount of homework and the after school jobs. Not to mention my social life of which I indulge too much. Not meaning boys of course. I mean my gracious friends! The friends that have graciously offered to help me loose weight. But still, through the tiresome diets and the exercize, I still stay the same weight. Let me tell you, it sucks!
I've had friends on "diets", and this little story is so true!! I don't see why people don't just eat healthy foods rather than trying to starve themselves and binge. Great story!
I'm glad I was able to write something you could relate to. Trying to lose weight can be so frustrating and it's even more maddeneing to watch someone you care about put themselves through hell because they don't like their body. Hopefully someday healthy body images and good food relationships will be the norm.
Thanks for the comments!