Bleed (It's good for you)

I'm sure everyone has had one of those bad relationships that you just can't seem to leave. Unfortunately, my first and thus far only relationship was of this nature. I spent many nights crying over a boy who seemed to enjoy hurting me. This was my way of coping, my outlet. It's a hypothetical situation; in reality he broke
up with me, but I hope it expresses the relief of making the right
decision. It's not exactly a poem but poetic prose. I hope you enjoy it.

Veiled, hidden from view, my broken heart is a wound I don't allow to bleed. The scab is thick and ugly, allowing me to look pretty on the outside. Careful to keep my barrier up, I walk through the crowds. All alone because no one knows about my unbled hurts.

My apathy grows to the outside world. Slowly I begin to just not care because obviously no one cares about me. I don't realize I am pushing them away, wrapped up in my self-pity.

Crowds of people all around me and I see you of all people. Turning I start to run away from the hurt again. I can't allow myself to bleed, allow myself to hurt, to not be perfect. When my name rolls off your lips it tears at the scab. Drops of blood start to ooze out, stinging my pride. Tears run down my cheeks as I search frantically for a way to stop the stem of feelings warring inside me. "I don't like him, I don't like him" I repeat under my breath. Denial staves off the flow.

Slowing making an about face, I turn back to you. Walking towards you takes every bit of strength I have, but I take it slowly, giving myself time to think. Taking a deep breath and one more step, I close the distance between us, knowing that I'm about to plunge a knife into my heart. Raising my hand, I slap your cheek, hard. The tears come faster now as I turn my back on you and I start to bleed for the first time in months. It's hard but sometimes the rest of your life starts with a goodbye.