Why is it that parents have a fear of their kid(s) becoming gay? Is it really so awful to have gay children? Aren't parents supposed to love their kids for who they are? And who was the one who brought up the idea that being gay was a "problem" and that the "problem" could be "fixed" through therapy or separation? If a person was in love with music, could you him or her to a therapist until they hated music? It's absolutely absurd.
My best friend and I have been accused of being gay by our parents even though we are both straight. Her father was extremely aggressive towards the "fixing the problem" idea. He sent her to a Christian counselor for almost two months. During this time, we weren't allowed to e-mail, talk on the phone to eachother, text message, see eachother, AIM, nothing. We were completely cut off from each other. Best friends! How can you be completely cut off from your best friend for almost 2 months?! It was some of the worst 2 months of my life.
My mother wasn't so aggressive, but she asked me to respect my best friend's parents' wishes. When I was upset about the absurdity of it all, she accused me of being afraid my best friend would reveal something to her parents and that it was guilt that made me so upset. She would constantly tell me that she was always there to talk if i was having problems with my orientation or if I wanted to confess anything before my best friend did. I wanted to die. I had no one to talk to, because my best friend was completely out of hte picture, and my own mother was completely untrustworthy and didn't believe a word I had to say. While all this was happening in good old Indiana, my father was out in California where he had moved the year prior to it all. I would call him sobbing every now and then telling him how my mom was trying to get me to confess something that didn't exist and he could only comfort me and tell me he would try to talk to her.
My dad and my step-mom were the only family members who believed me when I said i wasn't gay and that I never thought about it. He knows me and loves me for who I am. Even if I was gay, he wouldn't torture me about confessing what I've done or tell me that I am wrong. My step-mother, who also lives in California, had a strong opinion about it all. She said even if we were gay, why were they freaking out so much and why didn't they love us for who we were? She was exremely disgusted by the fact that my friend's dad wanted to "fix the problem" and said that it was only because he was a Christian pastor that he felt so strongly about it. (I agree.)
On the other side of the country, my mom was telling my family about me and my best friend's "problem" and now my family looks at me with disgust. My own family! It was sad. Honestly, your own family turning their backs on you because you were simply accused of being gay. I don't understand how such a hatred can form just from the idea of homosexuality.
It gradually got better and we got "privelages" such as hanging out when we were with friends, and being able to have only 2 emails a day from eachother. Now we are fine, we are allowed to see eachother and talk whenever, but we have rules: No sleeping in the same bed, no hanging out alone, no sharing a blanket, no hugging for a long time, no playing with eachother's hair, no back rubs, etc. Basically, we are allowed to be friends, but we can't comfort eachother when something's wrong, cause we're basicaly not allowed to touch each other. It's absolutely insane and I hate that people hate homosexuality so much, because I am hated for only being accused of it, and I feel bad for those who are actually gay or bisexual or lesbian, because it's a cruel world when you are different.
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Not everyone thinks that gay is bad and disgusting. The ones that do though, usually stems back to religion. If your a church goer, which I am not so I can't be sure, your probably heard once or twice that being a homosexual is a sin. If you here this all your life, you're most likely going to believe that. Today I was talking with people at lunch and the subject of having a gay parent. I stated that if I found out my mom or dad were gay, I'd be fine with it. One of the girls looked at me with shock and she asked me if I was gay. I told her no but I'm for gay rights, I attend Pride Fest. She looked at me like I was an alien. Then I remember that she was raised in the church, having gone to Catholic School for nine years. So being homophobic is a people thing, but it is also a surrounding thing too.
i stopped going to church. it's funny, i met her at church. and then once everything happened i stopped going and her dad made her go to his church, which is a very conservative baptist church. im not about supporting gay rights but i dont by any means think homosexual people should be condemned. its really an awful thing to hate. you shouldnt hate people for who they love.
wow. that is probably the most absurd thing I've heard about in a while.
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wow. that's completely ridiculous and, you know....dumb.
just wondering: how old are you that your parents can impose these rules on you? do you guys have to be supervised when you hang out to make sure you don't turn into lesbians? i don't even get it.
sometimes parents don't always know best, and some rules are meant to be broken.
--stacie
i'm 17, to be 18 in June. She is 15, to be 16 in a week. we have to have someone with us when we hang out. like, friends, or her siblings. mine are too young (4 and 7) to "supervise" so we cant be at my house unless my parents are there. yeah, they think if we are alone, we will start making out or something. he dad asks her if we kiss. it's stupid. and so we have to be watched so we dont start being homosexual and turn into lesbians.
I am not surprised although it seems ridiculous. I've never experienced such thing before so I can't exactly tell you what to do about it. You have nothing to hide though so be proud. As to why people overreact to the topic of homosexuality is probably due to the fact that many people still believe heterosexuality is the only right way to live life. They have been preparing us for our marriage even since we were born. They assume we're straight right off the bat. I would like to know why too...
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