It’s Monday morning; in just a few hours I’ll be a high school graduate. I tumble downstairs to grab some breakfast and examine what went wrong with the world. I pick up the front page of the Plain Dealer and discover…again just a high-class newspaper it is. Lets examine the front page. The big headline, in bold, with some ugly picture of Ken Blackwell reads “Politics’ new wild card: blogs.” We need some history here. A while ago the PD decided to do away with this section called the Metro section on Mondays. It had more local interest news, not national news, which should be featured on the front page. To the left of that is a teaser for some dude named Carl Pettersson (holding some glass trophy) and below that is this blurb type thing called Metro Monday. It lists news about Casey Coleman learning his cancer has spread, some new myspace knock off and some grave new coming oil wars. To the right of that is a large picture of several Iraqis holding a coffin under a headline that reads, “Iraqis mourn after 21 killed” with three page article that’s later continued on page…A13. Damn, there had better have been a lot of news to bury this on the 13th page. Anyway, below that is some thing about traditions featuring old ladies in outrageous hats. Oh, I almost forgot, there is some mention of the Canadian terror plot, that’s next to the Iraqi article.
So I open up the paper and…local interest, Canadian terror plot, ads, local news, something about mycrib (huh?), FBI’s newest subject, ads ads, where there’s construction in the greater Cleveland area, ads, something about the Cincinnati Reds nonprofit group, editorials, blog article (continued), ads, a bunch of AP blurbs, some article about falling ants, AND THEN! Finally! The rest of the article about the Iraqis. I’m glad I have a high school diploma so I can read about blogs. I can’t wait to see what I can do with a college one.
Hats off to the Plain Dealer, you really showed us Clevelanders that absolutely no important news happens on Sunday…or ever for that mater.
Songs while typing:
Cheeseballs in Cottontown/Bela Fleck
Swiss Protection/Eddie Izzard
Wide Open Spaces/Dixie Chicks
Hmm..interesting.