Nov. 9 1996, 11:39 pm
Out of all the people I have called friends there are those who will always have an extra place in my heart. Take for example. L H. This was the type of girl I could fall in love with and a small part of me did. I often wonder if in some alternate dimension I did ask her out and we were both happily married. Every action in your life leads to a different action. It can be described as fractional, one item splits into two, then two split into four. The original was a specific point when you make that choice. One path leads one way the other some where else. Each action is the starting point for another one, so there are infinite amount of paths your life could have taken. The trick is to make the best out of the path you are on and not think about all the other paths.
Every once in awhile when you don’t realize it you will find yourself wondering about those different paths that your life could have taken In my case it is all the women that I wanted to ask out but never got the chance No I should say never took the chance.
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What if? These two small word hold incredible power. They can drive a man mad if he gives into them. Constantly questioning his action, weather they were the right ones or if he is doomed to exist in a reality not of his choosing. What if? Just a simple question. What if I made the wrong choice? What if she was the girl for me and I can never get her back. What if I never make anything of my life. What if? The list can continue until you lose the will to do anything. When I was at this point in my life (ten years ago), I asked a lot of What if questions. This were done to me that I was unable to handle, and the friends I thought would be there to help me through it, were part of the problem. I was very depressed. I was in debt, had lost the women I loved, and the one person I could count on to help was in the military. I faced my demons alone, and ask a lot of What if questions. I then found a comic strip from Matt Groening. Each panel the figure was asking a different what if question. The last panel he ask “What if I stopped asking all these What if questions?” That is when I realized that asking What if? is a trap that locks you in, and you spend and eternity looking for the answers. They are not there. What ever choose I made I must live with the outcome. If that means always seeing the girl I new I had a chance but never took it. Then so be it. See will be a reminder to live the life you have now and not stuck in What if.
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What if someone made the choice to not be a christian? Would they not regret it in HELL? Not necessarily focusing on you! I've no clue if you're christian or not. I just happened to think of this while reading your blog. Good job with the blog, though!
I was raised Catholic and was force to go to mass every other day. As I got older the church was not giving me the answers that I was looking for. Now I choose to follow the Buddhist thinking without all the dogma that was attached to it. It does not hurt to learn about other religions.