Yes, it's true. Someone did touch me when I was a kid.
But it wasn't my uncle, or the neighbors husband, or the janitor at school, or my dad for that matter... It was my best friends older brother... I was somewhere between 5 and 6, and he was probably around 14. What happened, to be honest, I couldn't tell you the extent, because I can't remember. Theres a big black curtin in the back of my head, that my mind doesn't have high enough security to access. I can remember some of the little stuff, and looking back, I can remember how I got suckered into it.
The conversation went something like this...
'You know best friends get married right?'
'sure'
'You and my brother are best friends, do you want to marry him'
'okay...' I was 5, of course best friends get married...
'If you get married, you got to know some of the things married people do, do you want me to teach you them?'
Boy was I a sucker, but I didn't know any better what can I say. I was 5. We were all sheltered from the harsh world out there. Our parents still went through our halloween candy even though they were right there when we rang the doorbell.
Did I tell anybody, No, of course not. It was our secret... But it didn't go on for ever... We moved when I was in second grade. I didn't even know it was wrong until 3rd grade when the nurse came in the classroom and we watched a video and had the 'Private Parts' talk.
And I honestly thought I was the only one in my little town, but I've come to realize I'm not. One of my better friends and I were talking once, and he had a crazy experience with one of his sisters friends when he was younger. There are also plenty of stories close to home, that I've heard, and I'm beginning to wonder... How many kids are out there.
We weren't kidnapped and attacked by the creepy old guy that lived down the street. We didn't take candy from the guy in the car (learned not to do that in kindergarden). We weren't violated by our family, it was some horned up teenager, or even younger kid curious about sex.
Now you know as well as I do that we learned all the cus words, finger gesters, the truth about Santa and the Easter Bunny, and what our parents do behind closed doors out on the playground in 1st or 2nd grade. Someone's older sibbling told us this to freak us out, and we took it to our friends.
As kids grow up, they're curious about what they've heard, especially about sex. They wonder what it's like, or which is hard to even think about, they want to practice so they're ready for the real thing.
So, what can we do?
How can we protect the next generation of youngsters from everything?
I don't quite know, but I've thought of some things....
Teach kids, before kindergarden, that nobody is allowed to touch them wrong... Not even Mommy or Daddy.
Teach younger kids about sex! I know I never got the sex talk, or the don't smoke talk for that matter! We've already been taught that from the playground, classes at school, informatory commercials, and movies, and magizines (I'm sure a lot of kids have stolen their moms COSMO) Yes it's an uncomfortable talk, but we need the straight facts. Penis + Vagina = Babies, STD's, and so on.
And most of all, teach them which kinds of secrets to keep, and which kind of secrets that need to be told to parents, police, their teachers, or principal.
I know I was told to keep it a secret, maybe even threatened, but if something happens to a kid, and they don't like it and were told to keep it a secret, it stays a secret. I kept mine for over a decade before me and my friend were sharing trama stories.
That's pretty much all I got.
Let's try and save these kids out there from all the crap out in the real world, not by pretending it's not there, and sheltering it, they have a right to know what's right and what's wrong.
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thats happened to the majority of the girls that i am close with....i wonder if its just because we all can relate so we subconciously became friends or if it really is something that for some reason happens way to often. people really do need to talk to their kids more. about not letting some touch them and abotu not touch other people.
I think it's extremely important for children to know that they have someone to go to when something does happen. It's not always a secret that should be kept. It's never easy to say, but I was touched as a child too; by my uncle. And even though it's not a random person, or an older sibling's friend, it still should have never happened. It was too long before I knew that I could tell someone and get it off of my chest.
And even though children should always be able to tell their parents about it (or another equally respected adult), that's not always the case. It may be harder for the child to reveal it to their parents, especially if the parents are acquainted with the person who did it. Children should be informed early about who they can trust, and should know whether what someone did to them was wrong or not.
It takes a really amazing kind of person to be able to take what has happened to them and ask how they can use it for the better good. You are absolutely my hero.
My parents run a foster house, have since I was 8, and I can't tell you how much this happens... And how sexual abuse often isn't from the popularized perpetrators (dads, neighbors, uncles, etc.) but from others. And, I entirely agree that we should be educating kids earlier, and not leaving it up to the parents... That's definitely the problem. Parents assume that schools are teaching those lessons, and schools are assuming that parents are teaching those lessons.
Your right. Parents don't even think about talking to kids about sex. My mother didn't even talk to me about sex. I sadly had to figure it out myself. I do feel if my mother would have had the birds and the bee talk with me , I would be better off. Oh well. And as far as that incident it was not your fault. You were 5 and that person was 14. They knew what they were doing. Now they are sick but at the same time in a stupid way you can not fault them for beiing ignorant because tv, people or like you said cosmo could have influenced him. Good write.