I just heard about the 15-year-old Oxnard student that was declared brain dead after being gunned down by a 14 -year-old 8th grader. This is a tragedy. It is bad enough that a person is basically dead, another's life is over, they were young children, and this was done at school. But to me the worst part is that the victim was targeted for being openly gay and wierding out the other boys by being gay. This is a pure hate crime.
It really makes me realize that parents and adults in general need to talk to children about gays. Most people think that kids should not be exposed to these facts. They feel that they are protecting the children from being demoralized. In my household growing up it was as bad as talking about pornography. It was just wrong and perverted. But this was all under the surface. Since we never talked about it my parents can never be blamed for brainwashing me into thinking being gay was a ticket to burning in hell. But the slight off comments, eye rolls and religiously fueled speeches led me to believe they did not believe in homosexuality and that it was wrong.
It is not a shock to hear that kids are having trouble with tolerance when they have not been taught at home. Sure my parents told me that people should all be treated equally. But that was about race and gender not GAY. I really feel that adults should be open with children about gays so that they know how to act around them. Gays should be allowed to express themselves and kids should be taught that they should respect gays because they are people.
Even though I was brought up to believe that being gay was wrong, I love gays. I wish they had all the rights we straights have. If I have a gay child I will be very happy and love the child unconditionally. Regardless of my child’s sexuality I will teach him or her to be tolerant.
I have a middle school aged brother who told me the other day he was weirded out by a gay guy at his school who "flirted with all the boys". I told him that I loved gays and his jaw dropped. He has a lot of respect for me so I used the opportunity to teach him about tolerance. Since hearing the Oxford story I plan on talking to my brother once again about the issue so he knows the seriousness of it.
Who do you think is to blame for this shooting? The teachers, parents, kids, gun laws? What age do you think we should talk to kids about gays? Do you agree that we have a tolerance issue?
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It wasn't right to persecute people because of their religion back in the day. It's still not right to persecute people about their race, no matter how much people do it. Why is it right to persecute people for their sexual orientation?
I think it's society's overall mentality that's the problem. We just need a hardcore gay rights movement, with a MLK-esque leader marching in the foreground.
People just need to get over themselves, and realize that being different isn't wrong or inferior.
I agree this is a problem. Children need to be talked to by their parents about people that are homosexual whether they condone it or not. Personally I don't condone homosexuallity for my own reasons, but I have lots of homosexual friends and I think that the only way to prevent these type of hate crimes is to talk to the children while they're young and if you don't agree with being gay still tell them why you don't agree with it and then also explain that they are still people and need to be treated the same way you would some one that is straight.
I don't think talking to children about homosexuality at an extremely young age is a good idea mostly because sexuality isn't an issue until the child is a bit more mature. Maybe the idea that people of the same sex do love each other the way "mommy and daddy do" (or something along those lines) is a good idea.
There is no way of avoiding the issue because it is everywhere: movies, media, tv, books. Nobody should feel weirded out by homosexuals. Just because somebody is gay does not necessarily mean that they are attracked to you. I feel that people who are weirded out by gays are those who think all gay people must be attracted to all men or all women. This is obviously not the case.
America as a whole has a tolerance issue. I think it's mostly because we choose to think we do NOT have an issue. We avoid the problems instead of solving them.
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All the believers, they were smiling and winking at each other, I could honestly say I was scared for my life.
I don't think talking to children about homosexuality at an extremely young age is a good idea mostly because sexuality isn't an issue until the child is a bit more mature. Maybe the idea that people of the same sex do love each other the way "mommy and daddy do" (or something along those lines) is a good idea.
Sexuality in general, in the sense of discovering what it means to be male or female and the differences between the two, actually starts pretty much from birth and only increases as children get older.
Also, not all children have "mommy and daddy," some have "mommy and nanna" or some other variation of two mothers or two fathers, and are therefore exposed to the idea of homosexuality (in the sense that two wo/men can love each other just like a man and a woman). The point here isn't necessarily all the private details of sexual relationships, but to promote tolerance of people, regardless of their race, sex, religion, or sexual orientation.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I just think that at a certain age a child should have some kind of innocence. Of course you cannot protect your child from the world forever (I'm personally very against parents who are over protect their children).
Sorry I did not address families that are two moms or two dads because they will face the same situations raising a kid as any other family, and probably even more. I agree that tolerance in general needs to be preached to children in order to avoid the feeling that homosexuals are "weird."
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All the believers, they were smiling and winking at each other, I could honestly say I was scared for my life.
It really makes me realize that parents and adults in general need to talk to children about gays.... I really feel that adults should be open with children about gays so that they know how to act around them.
I'm probably taking this a way that it wasn't meant to be taken, but whatever. I'm going with it anyway. Why should any characteristic of a person be singled out and 'taught' in order to teach tolerance? Why not just push the idea that people are different... they may love different people, they may dress differently, they may have different color skin, they may like different books, may believe in different things... why should we specifically 'talk to children about gays'?
Yes, America has somewhat of a tolerance problem. There will always be those who just can't stand a group of people, whether it be because of their tastes in music, their choice in dress, their SKIN color, their gender, their accents, even who they love. Sexuality is only one category... rather than singling it out, teach children to learn about the differences of others and appreciate them.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
I so agree with everything you said! I am trying to build a collection of diverse children's books for my eventual elementary classroom (I get my teaching license in a year), and it is relly difficult to find books that present diverse populations as normal, and that aren't hammering the point to death.
But I found one last week! It's Called Belinda's Bouquet, and in it, one of her friends has two moms. They aren't amajor part of the story, it's not what the book is about, and they are just here, as if they are a perfectly normal and acceptable part of Belinda's experience-- because they ARE!
Heather Has Two Mommies is great ecause it was a ground breaking book, and because representations of GLBT families are rare in children's literature, but PLEASE! I could just choke on it! It's such a mouthful of gay! And I am a lesbian. And when I am a lesbian mom, I will buy the book for my kids, but I don't want to put a book in my classroom that says, "LOOK! IT"S A DIFFERENT KIND OF FAMILY AND YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY WITH IT!" I think you are so right...a subtler approach works better.
UNLESS they are faced with a situation in which it really needs deliniating, which is usually the case. Most families haven't introduced their kids to the concept of a GLBT family at all, and then their kid has one in their class, or their teacher has a partner, and it's all a big shock. In that situation, shoving Heather and her mommies down their throats is just what the doctor ordered!
Sorry. Long. My six or seven cents worth. I have opinions about this!
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
Oh, I don't have a problem with explaining it when it comes up. Not necessarily shove down the throat, but explaining it, sure. But I think rather than actively teaching to accept the GLBT population, it's better to teach that it's ok for someone to be different, no matter how they are different.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
The gay issue is a problem, that is why it should be addressed. This does not mean that all others should be put in the back burner. All tolerance should be taught to children. This goes for race, sexual orientation, social behaviors, weight, looks, just everthing. I do not think we should generalize all the issues to children without specific examples because that is like brushing over the issues instead of facing them. Hate crimes and discrimination is happening everywhere so we do need to get specific.
This world is full of people who descriminate, however, most people will agree that they got openly teased more frequently at a younger age. This means that even though kids are innocent they can still be cruel and hurtful at a very early age. They should therefore be taught at an early age to be tolerant of all people but they should be given examples so they can better understand.
Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
"Who do you think is to blame for this shooting?"
Everyone in that kid's life is to blame, on some level. Nobody taught the kid tolerance, and the gun was too easily accessible.
"What age do you think we should talk to kids about gays?"
When they first realize that there is a difference between mommy and daddy, or when they ask why Suzie has two mommies.
"Do you agree that we have a tolerance issue?"
ABSOLUTELY! It's AWFULL!
http://www.progressiveu.org/173021-testify-love-world-sweet-sacrifice