i get so frustrated with everything. school is killing me and so are my friends. they ask me to help them but when i need help they dont kno. i get so angry. i just want tyo hit someone. my family is hard too. they are so proud im going to college soon. im not readty yet i can hardly deal with my HS problems. i think college would be to hard but no ojne wants to talk or listen to mne. i just get so mad.... i always feel alone thats probably why i get angry all the time. im a loner so i dont have much to do. i get shy around new ppl. my life is so hard and everything io do or kno feels overrated. i have friends who over react with there feelings. i cant. i can only vent through writing this is what i seem to be doing now. i guess knowing the ppl who read this cant see me now probably makes me feel better. im not home so i have no picright now. i very self- consicous. i dont want to meet n e 1 due to my fear of there thoughts ppl try to set me up but i cnat deal with it cuz i dont want to let any1 down. i bash my looks daily and i deal with problems and try to live like there is nothing wrong. no 1 knows what goeas on in my head. my outside feelings are not the true ones. i have like a double life. i can be happy for every1 but alone i just get basically emo. idk understand why this happens i think i'm crazy but i dont care b/c im telling the whole entire internet system. i just want to vent and hear some feedback. u can hurt me bash me or laugh at what i'm saying right now but i just need to hear if im good normal or really weird. you can say what you want cuz it wont bother me cuz its the truth. i never deal with the ntruth with any1 cuz no 1 is usually honest with. if they are they change quicker than i blink. so i need to hear what ypu ppl think about me and maybe i can change or adjust to make me feel better about the stress with college family and friends.



Everyone deals with some level of stress, especially during the high school/college years. This is not unusual at all. Try to find a good number of people without stress.
Bashing yourself is getting you no where. You're concious of the fact that you're bashing your looks, so it should be a logical step to try to get away from that negativity. It may be difficult. You may look into the mirror and loathe what you see. But you must stare real hard and ask "Am I really that bad?".
The answer is no. I don't need a picture of you to say this. You shouldn't think yourself as ugly. Don't compare yourself to others. If you must, look at all your good qualities. For one, your courage for typing all this and putting it in your blog. That takes courage. Even if we can't see what you look like.
I know what u are going though. I'm a outcast that lives a double life. I'm gay but only one group of friends excepts me. U r not crazy many people deal with these issues everyday.