'Travels'

 A man and his dog were walking along a
> road. The man was enjoying the scenery,
> when it suddenly occurred to him that he
> was dead. He remembered dying, and that
> the dog walking beside him had been dead
> for years. He wondered where the road was
> leading them.
>
> After a while, they came to a high, white stone
> wall along one side of THE ROAD. It looked
> like fine marble. At the top of a long hill it was
> broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
> When he was standing before it he saw a
> magnificent gate in the arch that looked like
> Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the
> gate looked like pure gold.
>
> He and the dog walked toward the gate, and
> as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to
> one side. When he was close enough, he
> called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
>
> "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow!
> Would you happen to have some water?" the
> man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in,
> and I'll have some ice water brought right UP."
>
> The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
> "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come
> in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but
> we
> don't accept pets."
>
> The man thought a moment and then turned
> back toward the road and continued the way
> he had been going with his dog. After another
> long walk, and at the top of another long hill,
> he came to a dirt road which led through a farm
> gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
> There was no fence. As he approached the gate,
> he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and
> reading a book.
>
> "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you
> have any water?"
>
> "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man
> pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from
> outside the gate. "Come on in."
>
> "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured
> to the dog.
>
> "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went
> through the gate, and sure enough, there was an
> old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
> The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink
> himself, and then he gave some to the dog. When
> they were full, he and the dog walked back toward
> the man who was standing by the tree waiting for
> them.
>
> "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
>
> "This is Heaven," he answered.
>
> "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The
> man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
>
> "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street
> and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."
>
> "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your
> name like that?"
>
> "No. I can see how you might think so, but we're
> just happy that they screen out the folks who'd
> leave their best friends behind."

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