First of all I want to say that i know I don't have the worst life in the world. I actually have a great life I just compain about it alot. sorry
First of all I having been dealing with the fact that i'm gay. I'm very lucking that my closest people to me except me. but there are some rough spots. First of all I have fell in love two time and both times I was left broken hearted.
First there was Casey. Casey was my first love. It was great until it came to sex. Of course I didn't know I was gay. It makes more senses to me know.
Then I fell in love with Felicia. I thouhgt I was bi, and it never crossed my mind that i was gay. She treated me like shit for 5 years. After awhile I told her I wasn't going to wait for her to leave her boyfriend, but she wouldn't. Then happened in the last few months.
Then there is Blain and although he knows I gay he is still in love with me. I still don't know how to deal with this. I tried to turn him away and he tried jumpy out of a car.
Then there is Allison she is bi and she has just told me that she is falling for me. I like her but she is best friends with Felicia and my best friend Tiffany hates her guts so what do I do?
Then I'm dealing with the fact that I'm the kind of person that I need someone to have a reason to live. Since I broke up with Felicia I have been very lonely and I'm not used to that.
...don't feel like you're the only one who had trouble figuring out this whole "love" thing. Young or old, guy or girl, gay or straight...love is a tricky thing, and it never works out just the way we want...until that first time that it does and you realize, "Aha! So THAT'S what love feels like!"
But, all light-heartedness aside, I have to comment on one thing that you said.
blockquoteThen I'm dealing with the fact that I'm the kind of person that I need someone to have a reason to live.
Now, I'm certainly not an expert on love, but I do know a few things about being happy, and as long as you look to other people give your life reason, you never will be happy. Basically, before you can find love in someone else, you have to find it first within yourself. It may sound a bit cheesy, but its true. Work on loving yourself, and when you do, others will love you too.
Just don't give up. Every day that you are alive is a good day.
TTFN,
percivale
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Check out Progressive PRIDE, a Gay-Straight Alliance for the Progressive U community.
blockquoteThen I'm dealing with the fact that I'm the kind of person that I need someone to have a reason to live
You should really work on making yourself being that person to live for. It is my belief that before we can share our love with others we must learn to love ourself. If you are scared to be alone that means that you are scared of yourself. I have struggled with a similar issue and I know how hard this can be. BUT chin up! LOVE YOURSELF, don't look for love, let it find you!!
Good luck!