" You better behave or I am gonna go get the belt ", still echoes in my mind today. My father did in fact beat me with a leather belt when I was younger as well as my mother. Do I think that crosses a line? Hell no! I was never sore for more than a few minutes but what was ultimately hurting was my sense of pride and ego. I am always right I would say and stood up and told my parents WHAP WHAP, this time its across the face with a wooden spoon. Sure it hurts a while but lets face it, sometimes just saying, "Now hunny you cant do that " isnt good enough. Kids will always push the limits and look to find the boundaries. But so do parents, so I ask at what point is beating your kids crossing the line?
I personally that you have to do what you do inorder to get your child to behave. But there is a point. If you are causing any phsyical harm to a child in any way, adults can lose their children. Does this mean they should not spank their own kids. No it empatically does not. In fact beating a child just once may set a stricter boundary in their mind than the average verbal reprimand. But, beatings come with a limit. I feel that if a child feels that their well being ( life) is at stake then you have crossed the line into child abuse. When you can visibly see handmarks or bruises on a child then you have gone to far. If in any circumstance your child is so afraid of you beating them, that they no longer enjoy life or live in constant fear you gonna punish them you have gone too far. If you feel that beating your child on an everyday basis then this form of punishment is also not only an unsafe way to reprimand them, but a very deeply disturbing problem. Adults are supposed to enjoy their children and have good times with them, and by beating them till wits end you are only hurting your relationship. In short just enjoy the child for as long as you can, because they will be in college before you know it and beating them to death will result in nothing but trouble for you. Learn your limits and you will be A O.K.
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I got smacked by the belt too, and I'm glad I did.
I think that there's a difference between discipline and child abuse. I agree with you. When behavior is completely out of the question, I think a little spank can go a long way, is harmless, and can ultimately be a lot more effective than just words.
Slotted wooden spoon here. Boy did that sting! Never did that again, though, that's for sure.
As long as you're not leaving lasting marks (which is half the point of using the butt as the common location for spanking) and spanking when it's appropriate (ie - the the child is legitimately acting up), you've not gone too far.
-- quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
I was also spanked. My mom used to do it with a wooden spoon, but she broke the spoon once hitting it on the counter to threaten us. Then, she used to just use her hand, but she re-irritated her green stick when she spanked my brother. So, she a pretty thick piece of plywood. Yeah...I don't think I ever got hit with it because I was so scared of it.
And you're right, we turned out fine and we learned our lessons.
But at what cost? A certain fear of our parents? I mean, I don't fear my mom or dad, but when we all were at the breaking point, it could get pretty scary and I admit, I could get scared of being hit by my parents.
I think strict discipline can happen without use of a "Beating". I really do. I was talking with a former teacher who didn't spank her kids and she said "At what cost are you going to spank your kids? They'll be scared of you if you do it enough. There are so many laws out there these days that it isn't even worth it."
I think the point is...if we threaten, we should follow through. "I'll take away your XBox." But if he does it again and you don't take it away, that doesn't teach him anything. And if you take it away but give it to him the next day, its like not even taking it away at all.
We don't spank our coworkers if they aren't behaving. Bosses don't bring out the wooden spoon when an employee messes up. Why should we?
You are wrong, think about what you wrote. If a coworker, employer, employee is misbehaiving they get fired. Ten times worse then a beating. If not fired, then they are given serious warning and at a workplace can in fact be sued when laws are broken. Also when refering to this group of people we are talking about adults whose minds are supposed to be devolped and matured, while in a child you are showing a child the correct way to behaive, and using a spanking as a last resort inorder to do so. In reference to a teacher, I will once again point out the age at which they are teaching in knowing the difference between right and wrong and the different disciplinary actions, detention, suspensions, and expulsion which can be levied against them. Spanking is an appropiate punishement for the right age group.
I'm against using any tools for 'beating' a child. No belts, no switches, no wooden spoons... just your hand. Why? Because you're less likely to do great harm if you hand starts to sting as well. You can't feel how hard it's hitting if you're just holding a spoon or a belt.
~C
Check out the latest entry in the Between The Lines column!
yeah, i have gotten spanked, and you know what? I learned a greater lesson when i was spanked then when I just got a time out.
"I do today what you won't, so I can do tomorrow what you can't"
~Unknown