Cancer took my papa and won't give him back.......

Imagine, if you will, that you are in first grade. You know that your Papa (grandpa) is sick. They tell you that he has cancer. Ok, great, you have no idea what this all means. All you know is that he is sick and does not seem to be getting any better. That was my life in first grade. I don’t think that most first graders would find a way to cope with that type of stress. I on the other hand, did. I called it my “cancer book.” On the first page there was a heart with arms, hands, legs, feet, face and a bow or a hat. I guess it just depended on how I felt that day. On the next page the heart would have all of those same things except, he/she may be missing an eye for example. That’s how the book would continue, page by page until there was nothing left of the heart. That’s how I saw cancer, even in first grade. I could see it slowly eating away at my Papa. My teacher was concerned about me because I guess I made this book in school once. I have no idea how many times I made this book. As many times as it took I guess. My Papa was like a parent to me. I was with him and my Grandma all the time. My parents both worked full time, sometimes different shifts. He died the August before I went into second grade. That was 13 years ago. Even with all of the “coping” that I did, I still don’t know if I have moved on. Part of me still wants to be Papa’s girl.