Last Tuesday, I watched a documentary on PBS called "Anyone and Everyone." The focus was on parents of gays and lesbians. Their kids had come out in their teens, and they discussed their reactions and the kids discussed their feelings of coming out to them. Each family had an entirely different background- Asian, Hindu, Mormon, Catholic, Bolivian, and Cherokee Indian.
It was heart-wrenching through some of it. Parents were honest. These were people who were taught and believed that homosexuality was an abomination and unnatural, that shames the entire family and questions the parenting. Cultural and religious dogma was behind most of the fear. Not all ended badly, but to hear the parents discuss the negative thoughts they had about their own children was so sad. To hear the rightful fears the kids had about coming out was just as painful.
It seems as though most of the parents interviewed were still somewhat in denial. Most of the kids still stayed at home with their parents, although I'm sure there was a lot of tension. An interesting tidbit I found out is that the filmmaker, Susan Polis Schutz, has a gay child, and her mission in this documentary is to let people know that anyone and everyone can have a homosexual child. It may be seen as an activism film rather than a documentary, but either way, it was great.
For the life of me, I will never understand how such a minimal truth can change everything in a relationship between parent and child. Below is a link to the film's website. The film is not posted, but a trailer is, as well as a list of the broadcast schedule.
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| Anyone and Everyone |
I am so going to look that up and watch it!
And you're pretty much the best, sonja! I'm glad your nephews have you, even if they grow up straight, there will come a time that they will disappoint their parents in some way, and it will be so good for them to know that you always love them.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
I can't believe that the parents were so disappointed in their kids. I would love my children no matter what sexual preference they turn out to have! I can't believe how close-minded some people still are. Maybe this show helped to reach someone like that and change their way of thinking.
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I don't and won't have kids, but I have a bunch of nephews and a niece. I can't think of anything that would change the amount of love I have for them. I can't think of anything that would make me disown them. Of course, I haven't let religion or culture rule my thoughts and feelings.
I do know that if one of my younger brother's sons figured out he was gay, he and his wife would probably disown him. They're very much focused on image, and in their circle, it's not an acceptable image. Sad, but true. Luckily they have Aunt Sonja and Nana that do believe in unconditional love.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Are they completely unwilling to change their views? I've found that people will act like they aren't listening or receptive when I talk about issues like these, but I can tell they really do take it into consideration. It's like they try so hard to deny that they are wrong because they start to see that they are being intolerant. I'm sure you've probably talked to them before, but maybe someday they will change.
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Most of the parents interviewed were really trying to get past the beliefs they had been subjected to by their religions or whatnot. You could tell most of them wanted to hit acceptance, and some had. The Mormon family was surprising to me. When the father found out, he spoke to the church, educating and teaching tolerance and acceptance. With the reputation the Mormon church is given, I thought it was beautiful. By reputation, I mean stiff, unchangeable biblical beliefs.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Haha, maybe you should request that Webster adds an additional definition for "reputation". I pictured a superstarched white cloth that was supposedly Jesus's clothes on this one (the white cloth stems from a special I saw with some of Jesus's cheesecloth-like garments?), with you trying to fold it up. Crazy imagination I've got.
That's good that he was able to change his way of thinking. I wish more people could be like that, especially preachers and church officials. Sometimes I wonder if they're aware of how far reaching their messages of condemnment are and how many people are hurt because of it.
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Do you know about the scams in which some Christian churches promise to "fix" homosexuality? I really expected that from the Mormon family. I realize that this was just one single family that happened to be Mormon, but still...
I think education of church going people is the way to go. It's not something people choose. It just IS. As far as religion goes, God doesn't make mistakes, right?
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
Yeah, I've read about some of those. I think I remember reading that they have classes that you can subject your kids to that will show them how their actions go against the word. I'd like to take one just to debate with the teacher. I figure that even if the preacher or instructor won't listen, someone in the room will.
Educating churchgoers is the way to go! I think targeting small towns is a good idea, too. I wasn't a super-regular churchie, but I was really conservative back in the day just because I had never been exposed to morality based on logic. People shoved religion down our throats, and anyone that contested it was an outcast.
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It sounds like we have similar backgrounds, religiously.
My church and school casted out anyone who was in any way different, because different perspectives might lead to temptation...or logic. I used to argue with my pastors all the time, and all I got out of it was more fear rhetoric and "our feeble human minds can't understand god's will." They tell you you're stupid, they tell you to be afraid, they tell you to pin all your hopes on a promise and not to think too hard about it...sounds like the past eight years, actually.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/ediblewoman
The Bush administration used fear tactics to get elected again. I'm really hoping it doesn't happened again.
I got the same trash from the nuns when I had questions about the bible. "OK, so if God loves everyone, why would he want us not to love everyone?" I actually emailed the "god hates fags" religious group to ask that. I never got a response. I'm shocked.
I had a discussion a couple of years ago with some from friends from WAAAAAAAAY back. We talked about homosexuality. I said that it was natural, not something that people just decide to do. They pushed the idea that god was testing those individuals. Ummm.... Why? And why them? And why is it that both of you have no problem having sex with near strangers when you have this twisted thought that having feelings for someone of the same gender is against god? They didn't have any answers... but they're not supposed to think logically, are they?
I still don't understand the fear. I mean, it's not like humans are in any danger of underpopulation. I know it's about control and keeping the status quo, but WHY does that matter???.
-Sonja :)
"Democracy works only when you vote. When you don't take the time to vote for the candidate you find the least offensive, you run the risk of electing the candidate you find the most offensive."
I wonder about the "god hates fags" religious group. They remind me of Pastor Bob, this guy that used to go from campus to campus preaching obnoxious, radical views. He would do this until college officials ordered him to leave campus, then sue for something about violating free speech rights on a university. I beleive he was successful in a few other states, but not at our college. His goal wasn't really to preach, but to wait for the right person to give him a reason to sue. I wonder if that group has the same agenda, but just happened to pick up some people that are ignorant enough to follow their ideas anyways.
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