So, back to my view of 2007.
From the time we are young, we are told that our family is the cornerstone of our lives, the core of our support system that we can always count on to do the right thing and keep our best interests at heart.
Although I cannot say a single negative thing about my mother or grandmother, I wish that the statement could apply to the rest of my family, especially my father.
You see, today's media has attempted to lessen the previously horrid image of divorce in America. Instead of a detestable state, a family with a single mother and two children has replaced the former stereotypical family with a mom, a dad, a son, and daughter. No matter how much people try to make it hurt less, though, it doesn't. I wish life was that simple, but I'd be lying.
My father was, wait, slash that, is, an alcoholic, as he so lovingly reminds me now when he reminisices about his facing the disease. The thing is, and I hate to have to say it, but he uses his former drinking problem as a get-out-of-jail-free card in life, especially when dealing with me. Suddenly, heart-to-heart discussions about our past bring on bad memories that will cause him to emotionally plummet into God-knows-what of a state, speaking of my mother gets sheer anger, and further education becomes a financial burden since he no longer works. He forgets daily that the only reason he doesn't have a lot of money is because he was forced to retire because of his drinking problem, and the only reason he has to pay money in the divorce settlement is because he refused to compromise with my mom and enter rehab earlier in order to stay in the marriage.
His fiancee is another problem, but the theory is worse than the person. She continually speaks of the divorce and my mother (whom she has never even met) with disgust and hate for my mom and, I am sure, me. I could choose to resent her, again, but I try not to. It is probably the hardest thing I've ever done not to scream loudly enough to shatter windows just to get her to listen to me, and the truth, for one second.
So, how does 2007 come into play? I chose not to be a slave to his laziness or her apathy. I started a life of my own, and got a full ride to college based on merit so that he could not have the satisfaction of seeing me fail. And, to top it all off, I love him all the same. I've come out on top, right? I learned agape, or unconditional love, and, eventually, I hope that he will do the same.
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I know it hurt to write about something like this. Afterall, the man is your father, and you love him. At the same time though, you resent--not him--but what he is doing with himself. God bless you, thank you for your rawness, congratulations on your full ride to college.
I see that you have learned through the lifelong experience with your father that keeping true to yourself is what you need to do to get through life. No one knows the capabilities, and determination of you like YOU. That is something I learned recently as well.
I love to share experiences with other people, and I am sincerely glad that we have learned together.
Good luck, you will do excellent!
TCho
..thank you (:=
Questions welcome.
Comments encouraged.
Challenges loved.
Silence discouraged.
Fight apathy with words <3
check out my blog at www.progressiveu.org/blog/rhapsodygirl