Do you remember back in the day having to write term papers or essays for your history or English class? Ahh, yes, sorry to ressurrect those wonderful memories, but there is a point. I'm sure that once in your school history you were made or you chose to write about a certain person in history or someone in your family. This person might have been a past president, sports hall-of-famer, a musician, or even your mother or father. Depending on if the person was still living or not, at that time, did you ever think for once that that person may just read what you wrote about them?
My point is really how the human mind works. For example, if you were assigned to write a paper about your good friend, and you knew they were NOT going to read it, what might you put in it? The truth, perhaps? To elaborate: If you let your friend borrow your possesions a few times, but she never returned them, that would be cause for annoyance, correct? So, perhaps you would mention that. Or if he has the tendancy of getting so drunk at parties that he embarrasses himself, you might include that in your paper about him. You would essentially be telling the truth by putting these facts in your paper. Everyone has their faults, but most don't like them to be pointed out directly in an orderly fashion. So how would that paper change if you knew your friend was GOING to read it?
I'm sure you might tone down the bluntness and try to beat around the bush for the sake of not hurting their pride. One might go as far as removing a fact to preserve their friend's ego.
I'm not saying you should walk up to your friend and hand them a blunt essay about their faults. I'm just remarking somewhat on the paradox that a friend is someone to be open with and have a trustworthy relationship with. So if you can't walk up to them and hand them a well-written, unbiased essay about herself/himself and have them not get angry and upset, what is so open about that relationship?
The TRUTH?!!! You can't handle the truth!
By starry-eyedtimes09 - Posted on March 18th, 2008
Tagged: Dishonesty
• honesty
• life
• people
• thoughts
• trust
• truth
• Shared responsibility
• Personal freedom
• Better future
Some people can't handle the truth, and that's why we censor ourselves. I wish this weren't the case, but it seems to be common.
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I think it's more about accepting your friend for who they are. If you don't accept the fact that they borrow your belongings and don't return them, why be friends with them at all? If they were really your friend, wouldn't you just call them on the phone and say, "hey, can I have my ______ back?" You either accept the fact that your friend might not be so prompt in returning your things or get rid of the friend. Why try to protect their ego if you would write it in a paper behind their back anyway? To me it's more hurtful to have things said, or written, about me behind my back then to come right out and say it to my face....
To me it's more hurtful to have things said, or written, about me behind my back then to come right out and say it to my face....
I feel the same way. I'm more hurt by dishonesty than honesty itself. I'd rather someone tell me the truth than go behind my back and tell everyone else what they hate about me. People like that really discourage me.
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"Put it before them briefly so they will read it, clearly so they will appreciate it, picturesquely so they will remember it, and, above all, accurately so they will be guided by its light." ~ Joseph Pulitzer
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/k-mal
Oh, I agree with you both completely...but my point behind writing this blog was to observe how (some) humans would rather bottle things and not say anything negative, like when you write an essay and know someone will read it, than be honest in the first place. I mean, even my closest friends annoy me sometimes, and vice versa, but we accept each other for individuals. There is no animosity.
I think this situation can be applied more to women...You know how women and girls can be catty and spread rumors. For example, you and your best friend are having a conversation when one of your friends joins in. Your best friend is extremely nice while she is there, but as soon as she leaves, your best friend starts bashing her. That's just an extreme, but I've been in those positions before. I just don't understand why people do it. Being two-faced, basically.
I definitely see where you're coming from, because I'm the same way...if someone has issues with me, I'd much rather find out directly from them and not from the grapevine.
I just think it's an interesting concept to think about, how a paragraph about yourself would change if the person writing it knew you would be reading it or not.
l.e.s