No More Fear

It is hard, sometimes, being 17. You know, insecurity, peer-pressure, all that we hear about from the time we're, oh, about 7. But I don't want to be afraid anymore. I am what I am, and there is nothing shameful or embarrassing about that. Sure, I make mistakes and say stupid things sometimes, but really, who cares? None of my friends do - half the time they don't even notice. I beat myself up over things when really, no one cares. I don't do things because I am afraid of the reaction people will have to me, but honestly...we only have one life, and trite as it is, it is so true. I have a friend who came nose-to-nose with death on just a random day, nothing premeditated to cause it. It just happened. If that happened to me, I don't want to have lived my life waiting. I mean, look at the Children's Crusade. I know historians no longer think that the Children's Crusade really happened, but what a great example! These kids, fictitious or not, believed in something enough to ACT! They weren't content to sit at home and let their parents fight for them. They wanted to stand up for what they knew to be true. Sure, they failed, died or were enslaved, but IT WAS WORTH THE EFFORT. I'm not going to wait anymore. I'm not going to hide anymore. I'm not going to be afraid anymore. I am ready to take a stand and make a difference. I let myself get in the way of my dreams. I want to be a certain person, but I retreat. I can back down excellently. But I have strong opinions, and I won't be moved. Inside, I am coming apart at the seams with ideas, beliefs, and determination. I am not going to hold it in anymore. I have a voice and I am going to let it be heard. It might take some practice, but that is ok. I don't mind - I'll learn and move forward. I am ready to let go. And I am not going to let anything - even myself - get in the way.