Over the past few years, our education system has been the wittness, victim, and guilty party of a spreading epidemic- Sexual Misconduct on varrying levels. I personally view this climating assualt on children and teens in America as disgusting. We've all heard the cases, as daily, new ones step on to the news scene, so I won't go into details about where, who, when, etc, of these incidences. But I think it is important that we begin looking for a solution, rather than simply being appalled by the growing problem.
Some people have suggested that we privatize school systems, girls go to female schools with female teachers, and boys go to male schools with male teachers. But same sex violations are increasing almost as rapidly as opposite sex molestion occurences. So this suggestion, for multiple reasons, will not help, or possibly it worse.
Others have begun removing their children from public schools and enrolling them in cyber schools or homeschooling. However this isn't a cure for the problem either, since so many young children are exploited through the internet and sexual abuse happens at home as well.
The list goes on, but despite inflamed news reporters stirring up our anger, nothing is slowing or ending the epidemic. So what the hell are we going to do? I know how molestation, [even with teens who believe they are consenting], effects kids and how they grow up. This disgusting exploitation needs to be stopped, but how???
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[foxnews.com has many stories on this issue, in case anyone has missed this epidemic in the news]
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take away the power of sex. thats how.
you see sending your child to a same sex school or keeping them at home school wont do any good. sex is like drugs.....if you hide it, kids will grow more curious and will do more harm to themselves then if you had been open with it in the first place.
Sex is a major attention getter right now in society. Not only for the left, but for the right as well. Giving something negative attention is just as bad as giving it positive attention. Especially when it should be getting no attention.
For example:
Its considered risque for a woman to wear a short skirt right?? because men find it sexy. However, if starting tomorrow, every woman wore a short skirt every day for the rest of time it wouldnt be sexy anymore. We've taken the "power" if the short skirt away.
we need to take the power of sex away. its needs to not be such a big deal. If people accepted sex as a natural part of life, then teens and young adults wround America would not be so willing to grip on it and abuse it. we claim it to be "forbidden"....and you know what people do with the forbidden....they long for it more and more every day they don't experience it.
Everyone is guilty of putting a value on sex.....whether it be a negative value or positive value is irrelevant.....it should no longer have any value.
This idea of course will take many many years to come into full affect, but at least we should start now before its too late.
Its considered risque for a woman to wear a short skirt right?? because men find it sexy. However, if starting tomorrow, every woman wore a short skirt every day for the rest of time it wouldnt be sexy anymore. We've taken the "power" if the short skirt away.
I'd argue against that. Different men find all sorts of things sexy. My boyfriend finds me in anything that remotely shows my curves (which is just about everything, because I have a small waist compared to my huge hips) sexy. Some men have things about high heels. Some men have things about legs. By every woman wearing a short skirt every day, it only takes away the stigma against short skirts, not the fact that men find it sexy.
However, I agree to a point. I don't think sex should be forbidden, but I don't think it should be encouraged either. Encouraging kids to have sex will lead them to experiment. Teaching kids about the responsibilities of having sex will help them to not take the decision lightly (which it shouldn't be, just as deciding whether or not to do drugs is a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly).
Of course, all that is unlikely to reduce the incident of sexual abuse significantly, since that is by and large a power thing, and not simply ignorance about sex.
~C
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I feel it should be neither encouraged nor forbidden. ITshould have a peaceful middle ground and not be made into such a big deal.....i mean adults wonder why sex is such a bug deal....um yeah why dont you try telling adults to stop talking about sex period (in a positive or negative way).
I'd like to bring American sex to the same level as European drinking. There are far less drunk 18 year olds in europe then there are in america. Why??? because the legal drinking age is 18. drinking is now not such a big deal...its not such an "adult thing" anymore....so far less of the youth abuses it. I feel that if the age of sexuality was lowered then the result would be the same as if the drinking age was lowered. If it wasn't such a big deal to tell your mom to take you down and buy bc pills or condoms, there would be far less pregnant teens around...and far less young people with STD'S. it would open up the bars of communication between parent and child as sexual equals, and therefore be allowed the same lots of information. You wouldn't have to go to your friends any longer who know no more than you do. now you can go to your parent. A parent should be able to accept their child is having sex just as a parent in europe accepts the fact that their child drinks. Now obviously this requires ALOT from parents (with the sanctity of sex and all)....and in order for it to work fully EVERY parent would have to jump on the band wagon....which is probably impossible....but still its just my opinion. I think the issue of sex is nearly impossible to solve. So to have an impossible solution is fair.
another point to shed light on: There are just as many promiscuous adults as there is youth....however far more pregnant (single) youth....why???? (again think of where info is coming from and the size of room for error)
Perhaps we are getting into the day and age where children need to be let in to the adult world on certain activities and issues. The magical age of sex needs to stop. Youth is going to have sex whether we like it or not.....so why not accept it and work with it. If its not such a big deal, it will not be abused. If it is the teens choice, they are more likely to make an adult decision than if an adult "makes the choice for them".
(Hopefully I will not get bashings now for promoting youth sexuality and be tagged with pedophilia ;p haha)
"Of course, all that is unlikely to reduce the incident of sexual abuse significantly, since that is by and large a power thing"
as ive been trying to get across (again, the skirt thing was a simple/metaphorical example)...its a power thing because we let it be. its this kind of cave man thing....and we've obviously evolved past that. If we take the power of sex away then it will no longer be a tool of power. Of course, this will require women to not be so closed up about sex as they are. We shouldn't let men think they can use sex as a threat. Yet again, I don't know if that's exactly possible.....but it'd be nice.
I think you're missing the point. You are encouraging sex by reducing the 'age of sexuality'. You are putting a value on it. I understand your analogy, but I don't think it works. Drinking is not equal to sex, and the reason drinking isn't a big problem in Europe is because children drink with their families. I will never condone a child having sex (a child being less than 12, say... after that, they become a teen).
I think it is important to inform teens about what could happen when they have sex, and let them make the decision on their own. Perhaps I'm just resisting your idea because it seems wrong to me, but I really don't think 6 graders having sex is a good thing, whether you believe 'it happens, so we should just accept it' or not.
as ive been trying to get across ...its a power thing because we let it be. ... If we take the power of sex away then it will no longer be a tool of power.
I think we are talking about power in two different ways. Verbal abuse is a power thing, but everyone can be subject to it. Just like physical abuse is a power thing, and it's not like we let either of those happen. Rape is a form of abuse that is done primarily as a way for the rapist to feel powerful (Rapists will go after the weaker looking people, not the people they find sexy). Do you honestly think that is going to change if we suddenly become open about sex? The child-molester relationship is the same sort of thing. The Molester does something in order to feel power. If the child knew what was happening, would that really decrease the incidence of it? Who knows... maybe being open about sex in the way that you are suggesting would encourage these types of relationships because the children/teens will want the chance to become involved and have sex. After all, it's only sex, right?
~C
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I don't want children having sex either.....actually its rare for children to be capable of sex at such a young age (it is possible esepcially with certain ethnic girls entering puberty at an earlier age then those who are white).
I want teens to be able to choose for themselves to have sex if they want, and be able to be open about it.
When I say lower the age of sexuality, I mean below 18, not 10.
You are right about drinking in europe, it is done with the family. And I believe that if we open sex up in the family (and no i don't mean lets all have a family orgi) it would be socially accepted and therefore not such a huge issue. Teens are far less to do something that won't get attention.
As far as the power thing, I am fully aware of what a rapists or abuser is reaching for when they act out.
"it's not like we let either of those happen."when i say "let" i don't mean allow....i mean we accept it as an action. If a guy is power hungry in his relationship, society has told him to beat his wife....its a way to express power over her. My whole thought is to dismantle that idea (which as i said will take a very very very long time) altogether.
"(Rapists will go after the weaker looking people, not the people they find sexy)"agreed, and when i spoke of the mini skirt metaphor, I was talking about a typical american guy (the power of sex being able to sell). Typical guy will go for someone he finds to be sexy in one way or other. Granted there will always be somthing that someone finds sexy, but perhaps we should move the views of sexyness into more subtle (& less attention grabbing) areas.
now as far as rape and the power of sex-
heres a situation: If a rapist were raping someone and during the act the rapee started to pretend that they liked it, this would definitely throw the rapist for a loop especially if they were thrown off so much that the rapee was then able to take control of them. The rapist didn't get anything he wanted out of that situation and if he came across multiple victims that acted in this way, he would probably be more likely to stop rape all together.....or at least find another outlet for control.
A rapists rapes (just as you said) for control...they are forcing someone to do something they don't want to do. If a woman was able to overcome her emotions at the time of being raped, they could come out of it with power over the male in the end. Leaving them not as the victimized, but the victimizer to someone who actually DESERVED to be a victim for once.
She just took the power of sex away and used it for a greater good. Now this doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to crawl into a shower and seek out whatever support she needs for the issues revolving around the fact that she just had to have sex with someone who wouldn't have been her choice. The affects of rape would still be the same, but it wouldn't be the same for the rapist any longer.
.....thats just a thought though. No idea can be PROVEN right without testing so im not going to count on it 100%.
"If the child knew what was happening, would that really decrease the incidence of it?"actually yes i think it would. If the child knows what is going on, they are more likely to say "stop" and not only that, but the molester has an even greater chance of being caught. Why continue to do something you know you wil be caught for because now your victim is fully aware?
A molester targets a child because of the child-like qualities of the child (not necessarily for power as a rapist would). In most cases, the molester (on an emotional level) is a child himself/herself. Once the child adopted these adult like views of sex, the infatuation would no longer be there.
Theres a big difference between a molester and a rapist.
"maybe being open about sex in the way that you are suggesting would encourage these types of relationships because the children/teens will want the chance to become involved and have sex."i don't believe so, because if its socially accepted for a teen to have sex, that wouldn't encourage them to want to have sex with a rapist/molester or an adult (teens would still want to continue having sex with other teens just as adults would continue having sex with other adults). Plus in order to have rape you have to have lack of consent and force.....so if a teen chooses to have sex with an adult to "increase their sexual experience" then it actually would no longer be considered rape.
As far as your view of age and sex, you have to think about what culture has taught you to believe. In Thailand the age of sexually responsibilty is 13. Now in America 13 is considered to be a teenager, but still a child in the court of law.
When I speak of issues such as this, I try to think outside of what I think is right and wrong becuase its simply what culture has taught me is right and wrong.
When you have an issue with something going on in your culture (something being handled the wrong way....the issue of sex in this case) i feel you need to go outside of the typical ideas of your culture to find a solution because it could be those very ideas that got you into this problem in the first place.
Lastly I'm not saying "it's just sex"
Just because something is socially accepted doesn't mean you have to take the moral value of it away. Just because you know everything you can about sex and it has become an accepted idea that you are going to do it does not mean that it has to lose value. You can still choose not to do it and hold out for that special someone.....you don't have to be promiscuous.
Being open about sex is different from demoralizing it all together. It would still be your choice what moral values you place on sex for yourself personally.
Your suggestion is easy enough for students who have entered puberity, but what about the six year olds being molested in the principles office, or the gym? Exposing young children to sex won't protect them, it will only confuse them and make them more vulnerable, trust me, I know.
visit this blog: http://www.progressiveu.org/175107-slavery-still-exists-be-an-abolitionist
as i said above to mvenus:
a molester has sex with a child for the child's childlike qualities and lack of chance of being caught. if a child knows what sex is, and is taught to be more open about sex, the child is more likely to admit when they ahve been molested,a dn therefore there would be far less molesters acting out. why act out if you will get caught??
secondly with the childlike qualities (which the molester/pedophile most often has themselves ---on an emotional level) a child who expresses adult-like views towards sex would no longer have those child-like qualities that the molestor finds so attractive.
Now if it does happen to be a power thing, then the power of sex will drain away eventually. they will no longer be able to have this power time and time again and will eventually lose their power once they are caught. They feel the power becuase of the lack of a child's resistance, plus the idea that they won;t be caught....the entire situation is in their hands. but with the child knowing whats going on, increasing their chances to be caught, their power level starts to fall.
"Exposing young children to sex won't protect them, it will only confuse them and make them more vulnerable, trust me, I know."
This only leaves them confused and vulnerable now because of the mixed up society we live in. as I said, in order for this to work, everyone will have to help make it work....every single parent will have to expose their child to all things every other child is exposed to. If every child is learning the same things about sex all at the same age there is no more room for confusion or vulnerability.
I wasn't under the impression that kids were routinely sexually abused in school. It's far more common for abuse to happen at home.
It happens at both places. In the news we hear more about teens becoming sexually involved with a teacher, and though they believe they are consenting, it is still considered a form of sexual misconduct.
The stories we aren't hearing are about young children in the public and private schools who are being molested. We hear less about this because higher percentages of these cases aren't revealed until the child is much older. It causes developmental problems on an irreppairable level. Sexual assualt in schools among younger children is a growing problem, and whether or not we see it or hear about it, it needs to be stopped.
-S
visit this blog: http://www.progressiveu.org/175107-slavery-still-exists-be-an-abolitionist
One point I want to make, and Kiota touched on it. The media saying something more often does not mean it is becoming an epidemic. It could just a) be reported more (to officials, not the news), or b) given more attention by the media for lack of other stories. Let's face it, good news does not sell. Sure, the humanitarian story every once and a while gets good raps, but how many people would watch news if only good things were reported? My guess is... not many. People want to hear about conflict, or the resolution of conflict, not about how great the peace is.
Personally, I don't think we should worry about it, except by subjecting teachers to background checks like just about anyone else who gets a job. If they've had problems with children in the past, then they shouldn't be hired. Plain and simple.
~C
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I agree that the negative conotation of the media is a problem and generally misrepresents truth and the real occurences of the world, but that isn't why kids are being molested. Whether or not the media covers these cases has nothing to do with what is actually happening. The truth is, based on non-media reports, kids are being molested at a higher rate than ever, by older kids, teachers, and parents.
The media may be causing more ruckus than some people deem this problem worthy, but we shouldn't care where this problem is highlighted so long as people are made aware of it.
"Personally, I don't think we should worry about it."
Do you know anyone that was molested as a child? Or effected by a pre-mature sexual relationship? I think if you had been through an experience such as the above article refers to, then you would have a much different opinion.
I know, I've been there, and I worry about the millions of children be sexually abused and exploited every day. It is wrong, and we need to find a way to help these kids before they are dramatically changed for life.
visit this blog: http://www.progressiveu.org/175107-slavery-still-exists-be-an-abolitionist
You misconstrued my intentions. I don't think we should just disregard sexual molestation, which is what you are accusing me of saying. Your blog gives suggestions like privatize education. I don't think that'll change anything. I said in my comment what I thought should be done. I don't know what else can be done to stop it, because it is a private thing. Those who get molested don't talk about it very readily, and those that do it certainly don't, since it's illegal and all.
~C
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