Although learning a structured format for writing is necessary at young ages when such structure is needed, continuing to use it is detrimental to writing with any sense of creativity and flow. Using Jane Shaffer's method of writing is like painting the Mona Lisa with a piece of sidewalk chalk.
Walk with me through a typical Jane Shaffer formatted essay...
Intro, leading into thesis.
11 sentence paragraph: Transition with Topic sentence, Concrete detail, commentary, commentary, concrete detail, commentary, commentary, concrete detail, commentary, commentary, conclusion.
Repeat.
Repeat again.
Repeat again if necessary.
Conclusion, restate thesis
This method gives teachers a lame excuse not to teach students ideas for creativity. Not only that, but it hinders a students chance of moving beyond it into greater ideas. Jane Shaffer is the reason students do not like to write, and loathe papers. A-students hate it because they can't do anything else, lest they piss off their teacher, and F-students hate it because they have trouble following the format to the teacher's liking. And we wonder why our education system sucks sometimes. We can't just keep throwing money at the problem, we have to get rid of Jane Shaffer.
Students in high school need to be moved away from essays that follow a specific format. Slower for the regular classes and faster for the Honors/AP classes. Show them examples of well written, creative essays compared to an essay without Jane Shaffer. The best thing for them at first is to see examples, and for them to more or less copy what they see. These examples should be short and effective to show the students that sometimes less is more and the length of the essay need not be set in stone.
Shaffer still lives, amazingly. I think she lives in San Diego (am I allowed to say that?). I'm surprised that A- and F-students alike haven't bombed her house yet. Not like I'm promoting that kind of thing...(But now the seed of destruction has been planted. The idea is in your head, mwahaha)
Although I've met with some therapy groups and I'm beginning to write with a voice of my own, I have been forever scarred by this unearthly catastrophe. I know many others who have failed to move beyond it and continue to stress over it into college. And for that, I would like to say one thing to the daughter of the devil:
Damn you, Shaffer. Damn you back to hell.
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Freshman year English was horrible.
I've had straight A's in honors English and writing classes before I had her and ever since her class finished, but, no matter what I did, I couldn't please her into giving me an A, to the point where she would literally give me a point less on purpose just to piss me off.
I say use imbecile teachers as motivation for writing a kick-a** book about how bad their class was. You make millions and they feel guilty forever. No violence involved (:=
its not a particular teacher i'm thinking about. Jane shaffer is the one who formalized the system. but yeah to everything else you said.
The sun is the same in a relative way but your older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to Death. -Pink Floyd
I agree, there must be another may to help students learn how they can become better writers. I think you made some really great points.
You do sound like you missed "Donne's" point, a bit. Close reading is a skill that is taught--or that teachers *try* to teach--in first-year English classes. Maybe you need a brush-up.
Speaking from the teacher's point of view: I've had a lot of first-year English students like you, who were focused on the grade above all else. I even used to have students complain I'd given them a B+ "just to piss them off," as you do. Hmmm . . . maybe we know each other? (Did you go to a rather second-rate private university in Texas in the early 2000s--?)
Kids like you often have come out of a school system that taught writing in a formulaic manner like the Jane Shaffer format that the original blogger rightly bitches about. Then, when they get to college, they're surprised that their bland productions don't get them the A's that they used to get in high school.
The sign of someone who really doesn't care that much about improving as a writer or actually writing interestingly is that, like you, they are focused on grubbing the grade, above all else. If you were an original, complex, and creative writer and thinker, you wouldn't be whining about not getting the A's from that "mean" teacher--you'd just be working on your writing and getting the great grades as a byproduct.
Such venom! It isn’t clear if the object of your loathing is an individual instructor or the creator of a style of writing taught in other classrooms. It sounds like the instructor of this style recommended staying on subject throughout the essay. Writers tend to wander off subject, and an outline helps carry a story through from beginning to end. I personally think a good editor can make anyone sound polished by keeping the story flowing...... But there I go off on a tangent! Clarify for me, if you will, the instructor that you speak of. I don’t remember a style of writing when I was in school that was credited to someone who shares my name. How far does her reach extend?
I was taught to write like that during high school. They never taught me to write essays any other way, which sucks because if you write an essay like that in college, you get an F. It IS possible to write an essay that keeps on topic has a structure without that structure having to be set in stone.
Common sense is as rare as genius. ~Emerson
I was taught like that in high school, too. It does help if I sit down to simply express my thoughts, now. Any teacher who has a keeps to a strict outline like that truly isn't a creative writing instructor.
I finally located the seminars that you complain about. Give credit (or blame) where it's due; the woman's name is Jane Schaffer.
"You must learn to walk before you run."
I think that before students move on to "creative" writing they must first learn to write. A majority of high school students have some creative imagination, while a minority actually know how to express those imaginative thoughts. The Schaffer model gives students something to grab hold of.
Now, I'm about to throw down some analogies right here...
Writing...is like monkey bars.
The further you move along the bars, the more apt you are at writing. The Schaffer model serves as the first bar. If the first bar were not there for people to get a hold of, then they would be forced to reach for the second, and more distant, bar. The second bar is at most times out of the person's reach, so they fail to ever successfully guide themselves through the monkey bars.
Writing...is like stairs.
The higher you climb up the stairs, the more apt you are at writing. The Schaffer model is the first step. If the first step were not there, then people would be forced to go for the second step. Reaching for the second step is more difficult when there is no first step. Most people, without the first step, cannot make it to the second step.
I think that it is likely that most high school students have some creative thoughts or imagination in their heads. Everyone is unique and see the world through their own eyes. People see things differently. People's emotions towards different things vary. So, there definately should be no shortage of creative thoughts coming out of the students.
But there is. How can that happen?
The reason many students fail to clearly express their thoughts is because they have no structure. Their writing comes out in a language, which although may make perfect sense to them, does not make much sense to the reader. Students can easily get carried away with some idea of theirs and maybe lose touch with topic that their focus should be on.
The Schaffer model gives students something to build on. The model shows students how they can organize their thoughts into a way that is much more clear to the reader. By teaching students to use this model as a guide, teachers will find themselves with papers that are far easier to understand.
However, I believe that there is something more important to teach than this model and that is the IDEA behind it. The Schaffer model teaches students to do the following:
1. Introduce Topic
2. State Thesis
3. First Point Supporting Thesis
4. Second Point
5. Third Point
6. Re-state Thesis
7. Conclude
I think that THIS is more important than what you mentioned...
"Intro, leading into thesis.
11 sentence paragraph: Transition with Topic sentence..."
Instead of students getting wrapped up in coming up with concrete details, commentary, and transitions teachers should show them what the Schaffer model is actually teaching. What I think should be going on in a writer's head when they are applying this model:
"Alright I want to talk about Z. I have this really cool idea about Z that I call R and I think people oughta pay attention to R. Wait...why do I believe R? Oh, yeah! I have this first point, which is S. My second point T. Then, my final point U. Each of these point backup my statement about Z, which I call R."
The writer holds in their head some idea. Behind that idea are some reasons that support it. The writer explains their reasoning to the reader in hopes of showing the reader that their idea is true.
The Schaffer model allows students to more clearly display their idea(s) to the reader. The model gives them something to grab hold of. It is that first bar. It is that first step. While I believe the thoughts that go on during the use of the Schaffer model are more important than the actual format itself, the model can work well in showing students a way to better express themselves.
Definitely yes, it is the first step, but only the first step. To move into truly well written and organized essays, one must move beyond the structure that both you and I have described.
"What the hell are you waiting for?" Linkin Park-Jay Z
Actually, Jane Schaffer makes this very point herself in her training conferences. She states that her program is meant to serve as a training ground for writers who need guidance with organizing their ideas. In fact, she encourages teachers to 'wean' students away from this strict structure once they are ready to experiment with their writing.
As a teacher myself, I would love it if my students came into my classroom with the ability to write a coherent paragraph--heck, a complex sentence would be nice! For these students, the Schaffer program has shed light on the mysteries of expository writing. Would I like to see these students move beyond 'the formula' when they began to feel constricted by its restraints? Absolutely! Are the majority of my students at that level of competency? Not yet. I agree that for some students, the Schaffer model is unnecessary and can actually 'stunt' a writer's development. For these wordsmiths, for whom writing often comes naturally, I can see how this format would prove frustrating. It is unfortunate that some teachers do not recognize the needs of their individual students and construct their instruction accordingly. If you ever decide on a career in teaching, check out Nancy Atwell—I think you would appreciate her perspectives on teaching writing.
By the way, I find it rather disappointing that someone who claims to be such a creatively inspired writer would title their blog "eat shit and die."
I agree, why does this blogger have to be so offensive and violent in his comments about a fellow writer? Calm down........think about the energy being wasted, spread around.......make peace, not war......even in your own back yard/blog, I say....... anyone can express themselves with tirades and anger, not all of us can make a point with a well-turned phrase, uplifting self and others, rather than the put-downs designed to hurt someone.
http://www.progressiveu.org/sites/progressiveu.org/modules/smileys/packs...
I must say that all this baby step nonsense is for the birds. The first step in learning how to write a thesis essay is to find strong examples and READ. What you admire in a written piece will influence and reflect how you write. The more essays you read and analyze, the better feel you will get for how and what you want to say.
The Shaffer model, with all of its steps and specific formulation, places a student in a small box and asks them to run a marathon within its corners. It's not natural. It is easy to show and teach, which is why so many schools endorse it, but it is extremely difficult to write within its boundaries. Try agruing something you feel passionate about using this method. It cannot be done.
In all my years as an Honors and AP English student I have never heard of this "Jane Schaffer" format. However, the five paragraph format was so drilled into my brain that I would probably write an entire novel in five paragraphs because I can't get away from the introduction-support-support-support-conclusion format. Structure may be good, but it can make for a rather dry paper.
In my classes I would like to be more creative but can never get the chance because foul- mouthed name-calling morons("moron" is one that has the intelligence of an 11 yr. old child so I am using it properly) refuse to learn the basics.
In anything there are rules you must learn before getting fancy and in the end those rules lead to greater creativity. Art is a perfect example. If you learn the rules then not only have you just put yourself in a position where others will understand you because they also know those rules, but you will be able to draw and paint the things that come to mind.
You really need to go over your paper to make sure that the worthwhile parts do not fit in that format...
P.S. A good teacher would make you write one of those for the foul words so you could learn to communicate.
The Schaffer model or 5-Paragraph thingy should only be used to show the students how they should go about explaining and expressing their ideas.
Imagine the following conversation:
I ask a kid named Tommmy what he likes to talk about.
Tommy says, "Eating babies."
ok, well what about eating babies?
"People should eat every baby born during the third week of every month."
...why should they do that?
"Babies are nutritous."
...ok...why else?
"Lessens number of babies/people."
alright, but what about the thing about only eating babies during the third week of every month?
"Those babies are the least productive."
And you have information to back-up each of these statement, right?
"Ya."
So, what again is it that you're trying to say?
"People should eat babies that are born during the third week of every month. The nutritional value of babies will be beneficial to people. Also, by ridding ourselves of these babies we will decrease the population and make society more productive."
Ok.
This is pretty much showing the thought process behind the Schaffer model.
You believe in something.
You have reasons why you believe that.
You can support those reasons.
Now, if someone wanted to get creative when using this model, then sure...go for it, I say. As long as they keep in mind that they are trying to inform the reading of something and they must do that in a clear fashion, then it is ok. I believe that the Jane Schaffer model can teach students how to more clearly express themselves and, before they go onto really trying to be creative, they should learn to master the throught process behind the Schaffer model.
Not to belabor this subject, but i do believe Jane Shaffer was simply a professor who, in order to understand what it was that separated a 5-scoring AP essay from a 2, compiled student essays and studied them to find what made them tick. Shaffer came to the conclusion that what each of the high-scoring tests had in common was a strong structure, a clear thesis, subsequent development of said thesis and facts from the text to back up the argument.
When you think about it, the Shaffer system seems to make much sense--that's what a writer should aim for; clarity and strength. However, it's when teachers take a system that was never meant to be used as THE RULE of writing and turn it into some hideous, color-coded monster that we get problems (and such angry blog posts, i fear).
Should educators implement a system in which they teach students fundamental writing techniques? Perhaps. But should they demand strict adherence to said code? Never. Yet that excuses no one from insinuating that a woman's house should be bombed, asshole.
-M
Just when I thought you had a genuine interest and/or debate in the most despised and overenforced Jane Schaffer format, your true intentions were made clear.
I'm sorry you think I'm an asshole, and I'm also sorry you thought that I'd wish death on someone for doing her job. This was a fun post to write, but I really do hate what she created.
But wow, that was funny. Feel free to comment on any of my other posts if I once again strike you as an asshole.
Whisper on a scream doesn't change a thing. - Kenny Wayne Sheppard Band
I just began a new job at a school where Jane Schaffer is the "preferred" method (read: mandatory). I have to say, while I am a linear person and like structure, especially for students who are somewhat low in writing skills ("A paragraph is three sentences, right?"), I think this is an appalling version. The vocabulary alone needs to be changed - how vague is "opinion?" And papers should not have first person in them, yet her examples are rife with the likes of "I" and "My favorite." What blather. How can I possibly expect my upperclassmen to write a competent research paper if they can't even structure creatively as freshmen? Boooooo!
Ahhh! A breath of fresh air! I did not know there was anyone out there who shares my sentiment concerning the Jane Shaffer method. After high school, I had to leave english classes alone for a number of years just to clear its remnants out of my head. I delved into a phase of reading and analyzing authors who's work demonstrates a true understanding of the rules at the foundation our language. When I did revisit an English class at the college level, I made sure to choose an instructor who is a published writer.
What really burns my ass is that Jane Shaffer continues to profit from her method as it is incorporated into high school carriculums across California, perhaps further. It would not bother me at all to read an obituary telling of the woman's slow, torturous death. However, what needs to end is the life the program she gave birth to. The curtain should have been pulled back to reveal this devil child after the first year of its use. I have no idea how it has survived this long.
I lack alot of creativity so i kind of like the Jane Schaffer method and I am REALLY suprised she hasn't been mysteriously murdered (whats that hitman's number again? just joking). I hear so many death threats against her such as Im gonna bomb this b*tch's house whenever she is mentioned. If you have a good teacher then you can learn it easy. But yes it does lack creativity to write in this form and if you really get F's for papers in this form in College well im scared then lol. This may be the only writing style i have really learned besides the normal kind in High School.