Note: I’m writing in the voice of J.D. Salinger, who most notably authored The Catcher in the Rye. He wrote with a train of thought style. The subject matter and stories often stray through connections as if the narrator were thinking.
Girls
So sometimes I just don’t get girls. I mean I like girls, I really do. Some of my best friends are girls. But how hard is it to just say what you mean? It kills me. I mean it’s like they have certain rules they have to follow or something. No, you can’t just tell a guy how you feel, or be open with your feelings; you have to play little games and make a guy work to have something. It kills me, it really does, because I’m one of those kinds of guys that’s real impatient-like. I don’t like to wait. I’m kind of forward with my feelings, because I mean I might die tomorrow, so I feel like I got to get it out there, or I might burst or something. Like this one time, one of my friends, old Chelsea, she tells me she’s not really that popular or anything at school. Well I figured she was a pretty good looking girl, so she must be a least a little popular because she’s a fine looking girl. She really is. She’s one of those girls that when you look at them, you don’t even want to talk to them because you know they’re just going to tell you no without even asking your name or something. It kills me. Well I go to tell her my theory, and how do I do it? I just blurt out, all tongue-tied like, “You’re pretty.” So then it took me another five minutes to explain what I meant, because I guess apparently you can’t just tell a girl they look nice or anything like that, you need to have a reason. My reason? Maybe I’m just a nice guy. That’s not really it, I just like to be real open-like with my feelings. I mean, like I said, I could die tomorrow. And another thing girls, even if you do think a guy is nice or something, don’t tell him that a whole lot unless you like him. I mean I can’t even count how many times girls have said, “Oh the girl you get will be so lucky”, or “You’re such a nice person.” I mean that’s nice and all, but it really kills me because I don’t have a whole lot to show for it, if you know what I mean. I mean sure I might mean a lot to that person, and that’s great and all, it really is, I appreciate my friends, but sometimes I’d rather feel like a nice guy than be told that. So I guess I’m kind of like a girl that way, you just can’t tell me I’m a nice guy without me wanting to hear it, or me liking your reason or something. But, I get really sick of girls that play games with me, just for fun. I mean I’m not some hamster or something they can just put in one of those little balls and laugh as it rolls around. Girls think I’m supposed to be as smart as one of those hamster things because I’m a guy or something, but I like to think I’m smarter than that. I mean, I know what I want, and I know what I don’t want. You know what I don’t want? Having to work at getting a girl to be open and not play games when all she has to do is just say how she feels. It kills me. I mean, I hope girls don’t really think of guys like that, because I don’t want to be that hamster in the ball. I really don’t.
"I mean it’s like they have certain rules they have to follow or something. No, you can’t just tell a guy how you feel, or be open with your feelings; you have to play little games and make a guy work to have something""
and
"even if you do think a guy is nice or something, don’t tell him that a whole lot unless you like him."
In the first statement you are complaining that girls aren't telling you how they feel, and in the second statement you are complaining that girls do tell you how they feel, but not in the way you like it. These are the mixed messages that girls receive. Also, most girls are brought up in a society where they can't just reject a person without a reason (for a relationship, a date, or even sex). We always have to have a reason. Even in everyday conversation when someone asks you to come over, if you want to say no, you can't just say no without any explanation, and so girls have to act nicely to not hurt one's feelings. That's the way we were brought up. Compassionate, caring, all that "girly" stuff that some guys can learn a lot from. Don't be frustrated :)
I find that girls are more open about their feelings than boys. Boys seem to keep things bottled up more. Maybe it's just those boys and men that I have met, but there does seem to be a notable difference in the sharing of emotions and gender....
IT's common knowledge that love is a game of cat and mouse. It's a balance of influence--and manipulating that influence into romance. I wouldn't say that either sex has the upperhand on the other sex...it's just a struggle to find equilibrium.
Cheers from Union Jane
"I have only ever made one prayer a very short one: "God, make my enemies ridiculous." And God made it so." --Voltaire
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt
That is certainly an interesting take and the older i get the more i realize i must play this dreaded game. perhaps i only dread it because i'm not so great at it.
and no contradiction, i just meant the girls that i wanted to know their feelings weren't telling me. I know how my best friends feel about me because their my best friends. But they're also taken or not interested.
So in the scheme of the game, their take isn't as desired as my current pursuit's.
Luke
Dream Big
Gotcha! Thanks for clarifying. I wasn't trying to offend you (sorry if I did), but it's always good to get a clarification. :)
Well...Okay. For one thing, I'm sure you're perfectly fine at playing the dating game. People who aren't wear on it on their sleeves, and they seem to have this "I have died inside" vibe about them. So if you don't feel that way, I'd pat yourself on the back. You're doing good, haha.
You might be interested in this...It's something I thought up--my interpretation of romance. I call it the Hedonist Gospel. (Hedon as in seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.) Regardless of everything, every single person starts on the ground when it comes to romance. Every person also desires to achieve true love. I'm not sure if you know much about Hinduism, but the Hedonist Gospel is essentially like that. You work your way up social levels to achieve moksha in Hinduism, but in the Hedonist Gospel you achieve true love via dating. The motivation to date is to bring yourself up levels, and closer to true love. Most everyone you date should bring you closer, and even if you stop dating for a while, you remain at the same level.
Technically, you don't have to like the people you're dating in the Hedonist Gospel. And until you achieve true love, you're pretty much always looking for someone better. But finding true love is kind of a self-assessment...I'm really vague on this one, but I feel like it's one of those things where you'll know it when you get there.
I hope this is encouraging. Another thing I should add is that I completely abhor The Catcher in the Rye and especially Holden Caulfield. Your emulation of him was fine, and lacked all of Holden's pretentiousness...But there are so many better protagonists to relate to. But you probably don't want to hear my disparaging of Caulfield. :/
Cheers from Union Jane
"I have only ever made one prayer a very short one: "God, make my enemies ridiculous." And God made it so." --Voltaire
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." --Eleanor Roosevelt
I really like the writing style! It really gives the blog a sense of character ;)