So, I live in New York City. And recently there was a commercial that was on TV that was like talk to your kids about drugs. It was that sort of thing, except it was about sex. Now, I don’t have a problem with the idea of a commercial asking parents to talk to kids about sex. It’s a big deal in today’s world. It can be dangerous. And, anyway, they have all those ones about smoking and drugs so why not. My problem was the content.
The commercial told parents that they should tell their children to wait until they were married to have sex. On its face, that seems fine. I, however, see two problems with it. One is that, as of now, in NYC and probably in most, if not all, of the other places where this commercial would be airing a significant portion of the population cannot marry, legally speaking. The state of New York doesn’t have same-sex marriage or civil unions on the books. What should the parents of homosexuals say? Wait to have sex until the legislation changes? This point alone would make the statement an imposition of morality, but even if the entire country allowed same-sex marriage, it would still suffer from that problem.
What if you don’t believe in waiting? What if you don’t believe in marrying? There are, doubtless, people who hold a wide range of beliefs pertaining to sex that are in violation of that statement. What right does the Government have to ask them to ask their kids to do what they themselves think is unnecessary?
There’s another point with the commercial that I take issue with. At the end of the commercial, it says something along the line of “Success comes to kids who wait to have sex”. Um, what? I’d like to see the data backing up that statement. Even if you could, somehow, back that up to some degree in regards, say, to the business world, there are a ton of ways in which the word success could be interpreted. In what way are you succeeding? What’s the goal? If your goal was to sleep with as many people as possible, you certainly wouldn’t succeed in that.
It does seem to have been taken off the air. I haven’t seen it for a while now. Perhaps someone raised objections to it. Perhaps it was seen as ineffective. Or maybe the state just didn’t want to pay for it. Whatever the reason, I’m glad that it’s no longer on the air waves.
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I agree.
Waiting should be encouraged, but not waiting until marriage.
Waiting until one is ready should be encouraged.
What people say they wish they would have done it sooner? No one.
If you're ready for the committment and the consequences that sex may [possibly] invoke, do it.
Personally, I think you really should be in love, but that is personal preference and opinion.
Basically, I agree with you. Waiting until marriage is unrealistic. It's ideal to most people, yes, but unrealistic.
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this is war. every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore. [Brand New]
http://progressiveu.org/143541-how-to-survive-the-2008-elections
I also am in complete agreement.
PSA's that force personal beliefs on others disgust me. I see value in waiting until marriage, because of the insurance and tax benefits that come with marriage. Also, financial support from another person is helpful when it comes to children.
As I've said many times before, sex comes with fiscal and emotional responsibilities. Not only for the consequences related to conception, but also the physical and psychological health related consequences.
The government should put out a PSA concerning my blog on Fiscally Responsible Sex, about how much condoms and birth control cost, why you should use both, and the consequences of sex in that having sex creates children. Many people seem to have forgotten the original point of sex is procreation.
http://www.progressiveu.org/031426-fiscally-responsible-sex
I agree with the idea of waiting, I just don't like the government using marriage as the point when it is not something available to all people and the idea of marriage is not embraced by the whole population.
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
Friedrich Nietzsche
I can definitely agree with that.
Marriage is not necessarily the appropriate benchmark where sex is "right" and someone is "ready". It's a personal decision; and should be made based on other factors as well.
I always like to know who's benefitting off any advanced idea, or, ideological idea I should say...
I guess parents should talk to their kids about sex, but it must be pretty uncomfortable. I found out a little about sex from my friends when I was maybe 9, and then a little while later when my mom sat me down and began talking about it, I just said, "Mom, it's okay. I can handle this myself," and then I went to the library and read about it.
I definitely don't think the concept of the advertisement is a bad thing--like you said, sex can be dangerous and kids should be informed. But the idea of telling parents to tell kids to wait until marriage is just a bad plan. If the parents disagree with marriage, it's likely they'll take offense. I agree with telling kids to wait, but being emotionally ready for marriage and being emotionally ready for sex are completely different.
CEM
If the commercial was going to say anything, I would say talk to your children about being responsible or just talk to your kids about sex.
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
Friedrich Nietzsche
"If the commercial was going to say anything, I would say talk to your children about being responsible or just talk to your kids about sex."
That sounds sensible as a general rule. I know of a lot of cases, though, where if such a conversation were ever to take place, the parent stands to learn more from the child than the other way around. I think what makes some parents so uncomfortable about talking about sex is that their own parents didn't give them accurate information and, if they didn't take it upon themselves to become educated (for example, in a sexuality course in college), they still don't have many knowledgeable answers in case the kid asks anything.
"The talk" is a touchy subject.
Parents shouldn't sit their kids down just to talk about sex. It's important to talk to your child about it, but sitting down to go over the rules, technicalities, risks... all seems a little weird to me. I think parents should give their kids a "general overview" and let them know that they're there for their kids.
I don't think I ever got "The talk" but I know my parents were always there to answer questions and talk openly with. That has left me better off than any "talk" could have.
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If You Swear That There's No Truth And Who Cares, How Come You Say It Like You're Right? [Bright Eyes]
http://progressiveu.org/143541-how-to-survive-the-2008-elections
I, too, saw this commercial and was extremely disturbed. Now, encouraging parents to talk to their kids about sex safe, appropriate boundries, etc, is one thing. Forcing abstinence-only education down our throats is another. I'm happy this PSA was taken off the air- the government has no place in morality.
It's back on, or some version of it. I didn't see the whole commercial though, so I don't know how much they changed.
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Your Funeral Guy
R.Brian Burkhardt
http://lowercostfuneral.com
Free choice must prevail.
or in theology free choice of the individuals will is sacred!
Government in morality brings the angel of death to society.
your funeral guy
EAU student
I'm sorry to differ from all your liberalism but, (1) you don't tell parents not to advise their kids because the kids won't listen. Doesn't make sense. You give them guidelines and hope the follow them.
(2) "What if you don’t believe in waiting? What if you don’t believe in marrying?" I thought you said the commercial asked parents to talk to their "kids". If you (the blogger) are not a kid, you would know that what kids believe, in the most part, really DOES NOT matter. YES!!! IT DOESN'T. Kids have always believed that school shouldn't be for them, kids have always believed that home and work- are two words that should not be put together... but of course since their kids they don't know what is good for them.
(3) If the parents themselves don't believe in those things, it is probably because they are children themselves. http://www.progressiveu.org/081306-any-idiot-can-be-a-parent
-"I am not where i ought to be, i am not where i want to be, but i am thankful that i am not where i used to be".
1) Actually, I usually listened to my parents about stuff that made sense. However, abstinence-only education doesn't work
here
2) I always understood why I should be going to school (an education will help me succeed) and why I should have homework (helps reinforce what I've learned). You're making unfounded statements, believing that just because some of the children you have encountered are immature (maybe you yourself were slow to mature?), that all children are immature. Some does not equal all.
3) Wrapping up with an insult. Always helps your point. Yeah
Number One- I don't disagree with the commercial because kids won't listen. I disagree with the commercial because of the phrasing and the imposition of morality.
Number Two- I'm saying, what if the parents don't believe in those things. What if the parents are a perfectly normal couple, but don't believe in marriage for some reason? What if they think that sex is an important part of a relationship regardless of your marital status? The government, at the very least, should not be setting points for when people can have sex. (once they're legal, of course)
Number Three- You can be a perfectly responsible person and not believe in waiting till marriage.
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything."
Friedrich Nietzsche
I'm a prime example of someone who touts personal responsibility, but I don't believe that sexual responsibility has to mean you should wait until marriage.
http://www.progressiveu.org/031426-fiscally-responsible-sex
R.Brian Burkhardt
Your Funeral Guy.
Author, Funeral Director
http://lowercostfuneral.com
This student at EAU University is a knock em down to the ground conservative.
If your child is guided by example morality prevails most of the time.
If your child or anyone makes the choice to be a conservative, they will be a strong conservative, and able to stand strong against a post christian, no standard society.
Once Again quoting the public domain "when the enemy comes in like a flood God will raise up a standard"
i have a child 27,25 12 and 10 and my parenting skills are challenged daily.
Brian, It should be obvious that non-Christian societies do have standards.
I second that statement whole-heartedly.
Islamic societies in particular maintain much higher moral and personal standards for their citizens.
I grew up in a non-Christian household, and I would say I have higher standards for myself, my family, and my friends than 95%+ of the population.
P.S. Please use the reply button. It maintains the flow of conversations.
I've been all over the world. The Buddhist-Shintoist society of Japan places very high standards on its kids for morals and education. And some of the formerly Christian but now least religious societies of the world ( assume that's what Brian meant by "post-Christian") are far safer than the United States, have far less violence, higher literacy rates, lower teen pregnancy rates, etc. They've definitely got standards, and arguably much higher ones than those of the most religious parts of the United States on a whole range of issues.
And engkatiemarie is right that islamic societies definitely have standards as well, in fact very strict ones. Every society has standards.
Your Funeral Guy
R.Brian Burkhardt
http://lowercostfuneral.com
rules or societies run by moral code mandated morality can work for a time.
but they always crumble or are conquered
better for himans to have personal and all other freedoms and all prosper
This does not mean that the current culture in any place brings superior morality..
We all start from our background or the way we are raised. We make choices from there.If we respect each others choices and ideas, and not force them on others ( a specific morality)
true personal freedom and broad prosperity prevail!
I respect the path others have chosen. Please respect mine that is not dictated by government, but by choice.
Government by law can set agreed upon boundaries.and STANDARDS....but should not mandate individual morality and remove personal freedoms.(choice itself) My Experience says rules never work and rulemakers like to rule. and abuse their POWERS.So choice, true democracy , rule by the choices of the people up to rule by law brings personal freedom.
Quite an ancient concept.
Your Funeral Guy.
You have proved our point.
Morality existed as a social structure, based on humanity, long before religion. It's one of the things that separates humans from animals.
Your Funeral Guy
R.Brian Burkhardt
http://lowercostfuneral.com
Your Funeral Guy
R.Brian Burkhardt
http://lowercostfuneral.com
Religion, and rule by religous law are quite dangerous, and a risk to humanity
My perception or world view of christian, starts with free choice or an act of the will.
This is why free choice(freedom) must be primary. If there is no choice there is no meaning, and rule by religion is most times destructive to people.