According to www.dictionary.com,
po·lyg·a·my ( P ) Pronunciation Key (p-lg-m)
n.
- The condition or practice of having more than one spouse at one time. Also called plural marriage.
I have recently watched the new series Big Love on television in which one man has three wives and seven children. I like it, actually. It's a very good show, with humor and drama intertwined into it. This t.v. show deals with the real-life "problem" of polygamy. How would you feel if your father had three wives? I know that I wouldn't like it. But in reality, it's evident all over the world. India is one country that actively practices polygamy. But is it wrong? I am a Christian, believeing in Christian traditions of one man and one woman. And even with my beliefs, I don't think that I would be able to handle my husband bedding a different woman each night, instead of being with only me. No, I'm not possessive, I just want my man to myself, if you can understand where I'm coming from. I don't believe polygamy to be wrong, in any sense, because we, as humans, are allowed to practice in any tradition, in any practice that we want. We were born with that freedom.
Is polygamy wrong to you? Or do you agree with me that, even if it is against the Bible and Christian beliefs, we have the right to choose what we practice and how we practice it?
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It's not right OR wrong; it's merely a form of marriage. It's also accepted by 80% of the world. :) However, monogamy remains the most common form of marriage.
There's also polyandry, which is a woman has two or more husbands.
So I guess I'm with you.
Is 80% of the world non-industrialised? Lol. :p
I don't think there's a right or wrong either. It just depends on what kind of a society you live in.
Farming societies are more likely to be polygamous. Multiple wives means many children means more workers for the farm.
Industrialized societies are more likely to be monogamous because multiple wives, children mean that you have to spend more un-needed money.
Some societies that are isolated [there's one in Mongolia I think] need to cap their population, so the women have multiple husbands so there isn't a population boom.
While I agree with many of your points, I can't condone polygamy. My reasons are not based on the bible or teachings of Christian churches. One reason polygamy is harmful to society is that it encourages gender inequality. In nearly every culture or subculture where polygamy is practiced it is only the men who have multiple wives, not the other way around. Obviously this is not right, regardless of whether or not it is consistent with tradition.
My second reason is even more basic -- compassion and respect for the rights of others. I believe men who practice polygamy are fooling themselves if they think they are fully respecting the the rights of their "wives." Many people will point out that women who get married to men with multiple wives do it of their own free will. I believe that they have been convinced that what is being done to them is ok, in the same way that some slaves didn't realize at first that the the whole system -- the "tradition" of slavery -- was wrong and could be changed. One hundred years after slavery was abolished in the U.S., black people in the South were still forced to sit at the back of the bus, drink from separate water fountains, and go to separate schools. People didn't realize this was wrong because it was traditional, but the tradition was wrong.
I should point out that I don't have any problem with same-sex marriage. I think two adults who love each other should be allowed to marry even if they are of the same sex. The only reason some people think it is wrong is because it goes against tradition.
While it's true that plural marriage is part of a system of gender inequality in many cultures, monogamy has historically done the same thing. However, a change in the purpose of monogamous marriages has begun to change that in our culture.
Couldn't a modification of the purpose and practice of polygamy, coupled with an acceptance of polyandry, have the same effect?
It's fine if it's based on consent, in my opinion.
Hypothetically speaking:
You marry your husband. He wants a second wife. You don't want him to have a second wife. He has three options: 1) He drops it. 2) He has an affair. 3) He wants a divorce.
And when I say that I think polygamy is acceptable, I'm also saying that polyandry is. If men can have multiple wives, women should have multiple husbands as well.
But maybe this is because I believe that the institution of marriage (Traditional one man one woman) is shaky in the first place.
People can choose polygamy if they want to, but I don't agree with it at all. One of the reasons that HIV/AIDS is so common in Arica is due to polygamy. Each male has several spouses, so say he is infected with the virus, then there's several women who have just gotten it, and will give it to any other man they have intercourse with, or any children they may bear.
I also just think marriage should be between 1 man and 1 woman. I believe everyone has a soulmate - but not several.
I agree that if its to be allowed then it has to be consensual. I also agree that wives should be allowed to take many partners as well as men if it is to be an accepted practice. Adopting hard and fast morality and 'rules'when it comes to relationships is a very thorny area and very dangerous because they are complicated things. Certainly the only role the state should have is to protect people from non-consensual, abusive relationship situations. Other than that the state should stay out of such things and generally be as permissive as possible for this is one of those things where the individuals involved should have maximum freedom.
Hello,
I agree. If somebody wants to do polygamy, they should be allowed to, as long as it is consential. I also agree that women should be legally able to have more than one husband.
Regards
I think that legally it would coem with many problems. For example, health insurance. Many insurance plans insure a married couple, but what if it is actually 4 married people now? Would the company have to insure all of the partners since they are considered to be married?
Yes.
I grew up in Salt Lake City. There was a man in my neighborhood who became a polygamist and was excommunicated from the Mormon church. He built a large house about two blocks north of where I grew up. One of his wives and most of his kids (from all his wives) lived there.
Talk what you want about male/female relationships and the justice or injustice there of, but what I observed related to his kids. And most of his kids turned out be be a mess. They ran wild, got in trouble with the law, and some got addicted to heavy drugs. In a Mormon society where success in the family meant a great deal, this polygamist was a big failure.
i object this polygamy bcoz if once u have given ur mind n body to some one that person should b the only one in our life n u should b of that person's for the entire life
So people shouldn't get divorced and remarry either?
I agree. Many people fall in love, put their heart and soul into a marriage, and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. There is more than one person out there for everyone.
Getting divorced and re married is ok trying to stop divorce is another story as soon as people have a problem in their marriage it's the first thing on both the husbands and wifes mind.
eh. i think to each his own. I would never be in a polygamist relationship. Just my personal beliefs. But if a person chooses to marry someone who already has a wife, or if the first wife is ok with it, then who am i to tell them no? who knows.. maybe this will be the next big battle after gay marriage.. the right to marry more than one perosn. it doesnt' affect anyone but the people in the marriage. so let htem do what they want.
It does effect others. It effects the children. It effects insurance companies who would then have to insure 3 spouses instead of the usual 2.
In most countries where polygamy is a common practice, children are introduced early and accept the idea of living in such a way. It's just the way things are to them.
That's true, but there is also the possibility of starting a polygamist relationship when the children are older. I know that if my father started one when I was 13 or 14 years old, it would affect me for life. But I see where you're coming from. Parents would be stupid to do that to their children when they're older.
In most countries where polygamy is a common practice, In Europe it is very popular and common practice, finally women are resorting to this very same practice too, was about time too!
Apart from an increase of passionate murders that pop up once in a while, people start to enjoy this liberty they open up for themselves.
Amazing evolution that is...
i totally disagree to this. because when u marry someone...the last words that are said is...i now pronounce u MAN and WIFE. not wives. and also there is nowhere in the bible where it said that this practice is ok. so i strongly disagree and im not for it.
That's only in certain religions/cultures they say "man and wife". Some cultures don't even have weddings in the traditional sense.
I would have to say that I can't live life for other people, however; I do believe it's wrong. I'd have to say that I agree with you Mystic on wanting my husband to myself. I would feel really offended if he had other women. I would feel as if he really doesn't care about me. But I don't believe in polygamy. Even though some major heroes like David from the Bible practiced polygamy, God still disapproved of polygamy. Besides you men out there, I'm sure quite a few of you would want a relationship with only one woman, not 12.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Hey, as long as no one is doing anything against their will, I say The MORE the MERRIER!
Along with marriage, I think this discussion can include interpersonal relationships, which make-n-break more often than. Without generalizing, here is just one point of view...
Cheating partners are the biggest turn-off. Why does the need for cheating arise anyways? Why should it be a problem if the partner is doing something which makes him or her happy? People lie out of fear of unacceptability, why can't one accept that he or she cannot fulfill all the needs? Why should one compromise? Why can't we not be jealous of sharing our partner? They are separate individuals after all and have full right to be with someone else when they don mind it themselves. Why should we submit to society or religion when ones life is ones own to do whatever they want to with it?
Now bringing a twist in the flow.
The why-why list can go on and on. All these question raise because we think it is jealousy, ego, selfish love and all the negative emotions that make us hate polygamy or poly-gf(don kno if they hav a term for that...)
Simply put, things mess up when one is impatient (if not desperate) to have someone, girlfriend or wife. A lot of things are overlooked due to this, we just see the flowery goodness in others and the relationship at hand. Then ultimately the spark dies down and we see all the highlighted missing elements. At that point it depends from person to person what decision they take. Whether they compromise, move on, cheat, call off, convince the other or whatever they do...
I say patience is the key. And this thing "one person cannot satisfy every need", I'll ask that aloud when I get too lazy to work towards applying my brains or body towards finding alternatives for the partners need.
Honestly, I've written too much i guess. Actually all this was bothering me for a very long time consuming much of my ming and i was jus was on google in general searching about it. But when i read this blog, it hit a point reading this,
"No, I'm not possessive, I just want my man to myself, if you can understand where I'm coming from. " . Nicely put...
The main reason why many are living troubled lives is mainly because of the concept of marriage.
Marriage is the biggest nonsense around, it’s a contract which creates enormous quantities of misfortunes and social problems. It is a retarded concept which is tearing humankind apart.
Sadly enough we live in a world in which males don’t behave, they carry some sort of pride they constantly need to reflect upon others in order to create an identity for themselves.
A fake identity which of course is a total joke, since the only thing males are good upon projecting is their frustration of which sex is the biggest they carry within.
All those women which are married having sex with someone they don’t even love should already for long have been divorced. They are not only fooling themselves, but more worse fooling their own offspring, their own children which are fully aware of the lack of love which lingers between the boundaries of their nest.
People get fed up having sex with the same partner, it is nothing people should be ashamed of.
Prostitution is a poor example of how males deal with their so called pride! How sick of a situation has that become, to go and pay money in order to grab another set of boobs or pussy.
What kind of a loser, can’t show or bring up enough emotion towards a female, in order for her to desire him sexually?
(read next line twice please, pounder it for a while)
The whole world is full of prostitutes, most of them don’t get paid!
Males are the real whore’s in life which are begging for a job, while the main purpose of female prostitutes “acts” are focused in order to provide for food and shelter.
Prostitution in 2008 is more a situation of luxury, lol
The one’s which can come up with the best act between the sheets attract for themselves the best cash flow situation when they can pull of a marriage.
The yes in church would better be changed into: Let me be your Devil!
People are found of sex, but they should mingle in order to learn and enjoy it!