How to Fix the Problems of Abstinence Education

There seems to be rash of "either/or" philosophies going around concerning what, for ease of labling, I will refer to as "abstinenece education." I believe this policy is actually what's holding us back. "We must teach ONLY abstinence," they say, or, "We must teach ONLY 'safe sex.'"

But condoms DON'T always work. Neither does birth control. The particles of most STDs are so small they slip right through the pores on a condom. Using birth control, at all but mostly for long periods of time, sometimes has negative effects on the child when you finally do get pregnant, or makes getting pregnant difficult when you actually want to. The only safe sex really is no sex. That still needs to be taught.

HOWEVER, I think they should ALSO teach about condoms, birth control, etc, but ONLY if it's done in the right way.

That is, it should be explained how most particles of STDs are actually smaller than the pores of a condom, which makes the condoms pretty useless. But how also you should be free to make your own choice, with the advice of friends, family, church, etc. I think "talk to your parents/church/whatever" is something that needs to be emphasized in any teaching on how to stay safe from unwanted pregnancy or STDs, or anything.

And since schools are so interested in the "triangle" or whatever it is of health, mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing, (at least that's what they always emphasized in my health classes) they also need to say something along the lines of, and are you really okay with being with a billion different people before you're married? Even if you only sleep with the people you date, how many people are you going to date? It's not just about health risks, it's about how many times over and over and with how many people you feel comfortable with sharing that most intimate part of yourself.

The other reason abstinence only education doesn't work is because it's taught incorrectly, and/or associated with religion, when it doesn't and shouldn't have to be. Lots of people reject perfectly good ideas just because they're into the whole "let's reject everything Christian" mindset, which is just as ridiculous as abandoning purely secular ideas because they didn't originate within the Christian framework.

Any decent "abstinence" program needs to have a few key elements.

1. The honest and practical reasons on how the only sure way not to be infected or impregnated or become a father is to avoid doing what causes those little problems to begin with.

2. The honest and practical facts on the benefits of condoms and birth control as well as their disadvantages.

3. The truth about abortion. In my personal opinion, we need to teach it's wrong, but just in general, as long as an abstinence class actually told the truth about what it does to the baby, what different stages of abortions are like for the baby, what the effects are on the mother, etc, and, this is very important, as long as it was emphasized that the students should seek advice from an adult they trust on the matter, parents, church, whatever, to help determine their views on abortion. But this portion of the program would have to be very, very neutral, or it wouldn't work at all.

4. The most important part of the program should be one thing I've already mentioned--the emotional health part. Bring out the triangle (as annoying as I found it in class, it is useful) of mental, emotional, and physical health, and ask the students to take a good long, hard look into what they believe and where they might see their lives going. Are you comfortable with sharing yourself with who knows how many people? Do you want to live with the responsibilities of your actions, whether that be the possibilities of pregnancy or STDs, and, since usually these programs are directed at high school/middle school students who live each day drowning in drama, heartbreak when, after all you've done for this guy/girl, you're dumped? I think this factor is often overlooked (I for one don't recall hearing it, and I sat through far too many of these things) and yet it's the most essential. Instead of preaching or even suggesting one value to the student above another, ask the students what their values are. How well do they know themselves, what are they prepared to take on in their lives, and how their actions regarding their sexual life is going to affect everything else.

The most important thing about abstinenence education is the attitude taken towards teaching it. I know how hard it is to get students to care, or to listen, but approaching the teaching of a subject like this with the right frame of mind and purpose can make all the difference in the world.

And last but not least, I'm not sure watching the statistics of teen pregnancy go up or down is a good way to measure the success of such programs.

This is because, for one thing, there are all kinds of factors out there determining what teens do, and an abstinence program isn't going to make or break that no matter how good it is. For example, at a debate tournament a few weekends ago I heard a girl explaining one part of her oratory was about how teen pregnancy is actually responsible. Changing attitudes and multitudes of circumstances aren't taken into account when abstinence only programs are said as failing completely just on the basis of rising teen pregnancy rates. I'm not sure yet what other factors should be taken into acccount when determining the success of the program, but I am giving it serious thought, and if and when I come to a workable solution, will probably do another post.

In the end, if the program is taught correctly, what harm does it do? None at all. And it might even help. It never hurts to try.

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