I come from a very large family, I am the youngest of nine children. I am going to be the first person in my family to get a college education, I'm currently a freshmen in community college. Lately, I find myself stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
While I want to be proud of myself, and share my day at school with my siblings, I also want to keep silent about it. Why? Because I don't want them to think I see myself as someone who is superior.
One of my siblings attempted college, but dropped out. He constantly talks about how he was commended on his high school exams, how high his SAT scores were and often makes me feel uneducated. When he rambles on about these things, I know that he is proud, but that was in the past. What good did it do him if he isn't working or doesn't attend school?
Usually at the end of the day, I tell my mom the funny things that happened at school, or the things I learned. He is usually there, and tries to contradict what I am saying. I often get a sense of jealousy, but by feeling that way, I start to think that I am acting superior. Is it so wrong to be proud of myself? Is it bad that I enjoy sharing my day's events with others? No, it isn't. But my siblings make me feel like I shouldn't be any better than them. I have more manners than they do at certain times, I can be mature and hold intelligent conversations, but does that make me any better? No.
Just because I am in college, doesn't mean I am any better. The reason I am having this issue is because, I see myself as going further than they have. Which is true, but it should not give me the feelings of being better than anyone else. We are all created equal, college or not. I just want my family to know that I am proud of myself, and they should be too. I am also proud of them for their personal triumphs!
Attitude Adjustment:
By rebeccamia - Posted on April 17th, 2008
Tagged: Personal Decisions
You should be proud of yourself, just dont become ignorant!
It is fine to be proud of your accomplishments and it is OK to talk about them. But the trick is to recognize that they don't necessarily make you better then anybody else. There needs to be some humility that accompanies and tempers your pride. Most importantly, you need to avoid arrogance. For the record it seems like that since you are aware of this issue that you are well on your way to handling it appropriately. Emotions are complicated things. Your siblings are probably struggling with a mix of resentment and jealosy. But I bet these negative emotions are combined with a lot of pride in what you are accomplishing.
Education comes in many forms and not all of it comes from school. You need to show respect for the hardwork and accomplishments of your siblings. I bet (or hope) that they are ALL earning more money than you are currently and I bet some of them are on their way to gaining valuable job experiences and learning decent trades that will allow them to enjoy a meaningful life. They should be respected.
I have a masters degree but a lot of my closest friends are tradespeople with highschool educations. I know things they don't know and I earn more money then most of them. But they know how to build houses,repair engines,operate heavy equipment and weld. I have not a clue how to do those things. I am in awe of their skills which they have refined with decades of hard work and experience.
If you give respect you'll get respect.