BY Ms.ABC at AngryBlackCat.Com
My husband and I are at the supermarket. We get the basics: egg,
milk, cheese, etc. We look at different products and compare prices so
we can get the best deal. My husband makes a joke and I laugh. Out the
corner of my eye I see a white woman scowling at us as if she had just
tasted something bitter. I behave as if I didn't catch the look and we
head towards the checkout line. At the check out line I see black men
staring but when my husband makes eye contact they look at the floor. A
old black man an aisle over looks at me and shakes his head. This is
for the most part is typical visit the our local supermarket. This
doesn't happen at every store we go to, just the ones where we live. I
know some will think that I've become hypersensitive since dating and
marrying a white man,but humans have built-in feelers for social vibes.
My husband I get "bad vibes".
Some will argue that we've come a long way in our attitudes towards
other cultures, but my husband and I can't go out and do things most
things couple do in public. People looked us as if we've grown two
heads each. America doesn't want diversity and here's why: because its
being forced. Nothing works the way it should when you force it. People
want to get to know people in their own time and way.
I've never forced interaction with a person of any race on the basis
that I had to act "diverse." To this day I'm attracted to people's
qualities because in the end that all that matters. I like to state
that personally I make a distinction between racists and being
prejudiced. Very few people fall into the category of a racist. Racists
can affect your employment, housing, education, etc. if so inclined.
For everyone else, their attitudes break down to different degrees of
prejudice.
I've known people who have friends from other races but wouldn't
date one. Others who believe that dating is fine but marriage is whole
other matter for them. They make arguments that marriage is complicated
enough without putting race into the mix, also that children of the
couples will be confused about their "identity." A few would argue that
point of diversity (variety) would be lost due to interracial couples
having children. What bunch of bullshit!
As far diversity goes, who better than an interracial couple to
gauge whether people are ready to back up their PC rhetoric with
action? The answer as of today is no. People understand that prejudice
is root is most if not all conflicts in the world but for most it's
hard to let go of stereotypes. No law will change what's in someone's
heart. You could make as many laws and penalties as you wanted to and
it wouldn't change anything for better.
When people see my husband and I out in public they only see a big
black girl with a white man. They are judging us based on established
stereotypes, not as two people who've decided to be together. They
THINK they understand what they are seeing. I wonder what conflict
they're fighting internally to give my husband and I dirty looks in
public but only to lie about being open to interracial dating for FEAR
of being labeling a racist. Shame. For me, there's no conflict. I
followed my heart and I don't regret it no matter how many people are
against our marriage and love.
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wow i never would have guessed that people treat interracial couples this way. do you get this from most people or just select?
http://progressiveu.org/222330-it-takes-strength-to-listen
We get these reactions from most people we encounter. My husband and I used to work at the same job and their reaction was to enforce a policy that made his employment null and void even after he stated our relationship on his job application.
What is diversity any way?
Okay while I read your article I was questioned that interaccial relationships would limit diversity in the long run. Then, I thought what is diversity anyway, that it would be limited by interraccial children, Then you call my orginal idea "bullshit", and if I had been drinking I would have spit it out my nose and laughted at myself pnce I was done choking.
At the risk of beining crude, I am going to say this after prefacing that I appear white. The stereotype, that is loved so much I am sure, is the one about black men and their...little black men size. So I like to make jokes, in my head of course, think why a black female would want a white guy. I know that it is wrong(inappropriate) and wrong (lies).
I know that they like each other for other REAL reasons and that not every relationship is sexual. As for giving them dirty looks, heck no, this is to much fun to be mean...I like love, not consipracy (at least usually).
~Jester Jokes
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo
Thank you for sharing this.
My mother is from Spain and my dad is from America. His family would not acept my mother for the longest time. Even after she had me, they treated her like the 'foreign lady my father married'. I think it's absurd. People need to grow up and realize how ridiculous it is to think that way.
I'm with you on political correctness; I think it does a great disservice by masking the lack of progress in changing minds and not just words. It's very convenient, in fact, to have anti-hate speech legislation because it can be cited as proof that prejudice isn't allowed but the mentality persists behind closed doors. I have a friend who has a Haitian father and a white step-mother. They vacationed in Florida not too long ago and got the most heinous treatment even from the police. I believe the police pulled them over in their car and basically asked if the step-mother was being held against her will. This is what needs to be lambasted with a legislative stick; actual manifestations of racism.
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Gabriel
Wow I was about to say that maybe what happened to your friend's parents was because of froriegn problems and it should be an honor blah blah blah. Then I looked back at the location of this said vacation to see if I could point out any facts. To my surprise you said florida...That should have never happened.Good greif...Thank you for sharing
all truths are easy to understand once discovered; the point is to discover them ~galileo
I can't believe that people still act this way today.
I really don't understand why people don't understand that skin is just skin. How does the shade of it affect who the person IS, and how the feel and act?
It's great that you don't care. You're so right that diversity isn't working because it's being forced. It's actually causing more racism and resentment among different races, when we should just be learning to get along regardless of race. I mean, all of the affirmative action business is causing more people to be racist. We really should let go of the past and all the hatred, but we can't because we're constantly being reminded of our subtle differences, instead of the vast similarities. Great blog.
I would like to introduce to you one of the first Mixed-race Personal Listings Service you may find on the Internet! It is created to balck relationships between Black Men and White Women. This will also serve as a forum for all BM and WW to meet, share, and grow together. As stated in simple terms, this group will serve to provide support, interact, online resource, and up coming events. http://www.interracialfriends.com/
Forty years ago it was illegal for whites to marry blacks and since it has been legalized, I don't see how it's improved society. If anything, it degrades it. Let's face it, there's a pecking order, and we all know where everybody stands.
I'd bet that the white guy's family wasn't too happy about his marriage. It doesn't surprise me that you get dirty looks. What do you expect? He looks like a fool, and you look like the luckiest negro around.
It is what it is, and you can pretend that it doesn't matter to other people but it does.