I HATE Fibro

Hello,
I'm a 28 year old women living with fibromyalgia. My mother has it too, ever since I was two years old. I grew up knowing the characters of Sesame Street and the symptoms of Fibromyalgia (back then they called it fibrocytis).
I happened upon this site doing a Google search...trying to read up on this disease which has claimed my life. I first noticed some pains when I was around 21 or 22, I went to the doctor who said I was just "stressed out" and gave me samples of some antidepressant and sent me on the way. I went to a chiropracter and he told me it was a spinal alignment and start coming in 3x a week for treatments that, with insurance, were going to cost 30 bucks a pop. I just shrugged it off and dealt with it...it was sporadic, and most of the time I felt okay. It's not until I found myself in a relationship with an emotional abusive boyfriend 3 years later that my symptoms kicked in full gear. Fatigue, pain, forgetfulness, clumsiness, a burning, aching pain in my back, hands, knees...of course I got called "lazy", "stupid", etc. etc. Anywhoo, when I got out of that situation and got on my own, I thought the symtpoms would ease up (I assumed it was just "stress from being in a bad place") but I still felt bad, and it felt like I was feeling worse...so last October, I went to a rheumatologist, who listened, poked me in some spots (that HURT) to my surprise, and diagnosed me with fibromyalgia. Well, maybe I wasn't surprised, I just didn't want it to BE that, I have witnessed first hand how this has claimed the life of my mom, who is in too much pain to work, who had many bad days where she stayed in bed, while I wished for her to play with me...I didn't want to become "that person". He prescribed some antidepressents and Lyrica, but I'll be honest, I haven't taken them. I googled some of the side effects and one of them I noticed was weight gain. I have battled weight problems my entire life...and I didnt want to trade in pain for being overweight. As it is, I force myself to walk 3 miles a day in the morning, 6 days a week, so I can maintain my weight. So anyway, back to the fibro. I am in constant pain every day. They say it isn't a progressive disease,so why do I feel like I am getting worse? My coworkers tease me when I drop things, knock over drinks (muscle spasms) forget things, or wonder why somebody in their 20's is being an "old lady" because I don't want to go out and have dinner, movies, night on the town...it hurts. I go to bed at 8 oclock and get up at 5:30 to take my walks...I work (sometimes OT because I have so much) go home, eat and go to bed. There are days I want to take off from work I hurt so much, but it is so busy I don't want to fall behind. I am so sad. My fingers and shoulders hurt the worse...sometimes they just throb, which is bad because I type on the computer all day. I have numbness in my arms when I go to sleep, constant muscle spasms in my legs. When I wake up I feel like I have been run over by a truck, I am so stiff. One time I was in tears at a movie theatre because my knees hurt so bad. I wish people could understand, its embarassing to explain I am not dumb, or lazy, I can't help it, I just don't feel good, but at the same time I am so angry and frustrated that my life has become THIS. I wish there were more groups and foundations out there raising awareness. Yet I cannot find one group that really is trying to raise money, awareness, sponser walks, events, etc. for this disease! The Arthritis Foundation lumps fibro in with their cause, but doesn't identify this independently to help raise awareness. Anyway, I ramble on during my lunch break, maybe hoping somebody will tell me I am not alone, its just so hard, I know I could take the medicine and it might help, but if I gained weight and was still in pain I don't see how that could help matters! I feel like I am running on empty...I push myself to work, to walk, then I go every weekend to see my mother and help her with errands and try to lift her spirits...she has had this for 26 years and she has all but given up hope. Its just so hard, nobody seems to understand. I HATE Fibro.