New from Mattel, comes a new line of super-realistic Barbie dolls!
1. Pregnant Teen Barbie. Comes as with either the abortion clinic playset or the bonus dead beat boyfriend.
2. Crack Head Barbie. This doll had to be recalled because it kept falling into pieces.
3. Anorexic Barbie. She thinks she’s so fat!
4. Binge-Eating Disorder Barbie. Won’t be compatible with Barbie Corvette.
5. Manic Depressive Disorder Barbie. Is she Bipolar, or is it just her time of the month?
6. Kleptomaniac Barbie. Hey…where did she get that necklace?
Barbie. She’s one of those toys we love to hate when we get older. Not only is this buxom blonde the epitome of girly childhood that many teenagers later deny liking at all, she’s also picked on for being too unrealistic for today’s children to get an accurate example of what women are expected to look like. It has been scientifically proven (don’t ask me where, it’s heresy) that if Barbie were real she wouldn’t even be able to walk. With boobs that big and ankles that small, she’s an anatomical anomaly.
So we pick on Barbie for not being realistic enough, but what if toy manufacturers did come out with her realistic equivalent? Would they stop at dolls with a more anatomically average body mass, or would they branch off into other walks of life? Drug dealer Ken and Prostitute Barbie may even come in the same box…
Okay, so we can’t have complete realism with the Barbie design, but it would be nicer to see less of this Anatomical Anomoly Barbie, and something more that children can relate to.
I’m not a doll aficionado, but I have been conscious enough to see that Barbie is taking this advice to some extent. There are now black, Hispanic, Chinese, curly-haired, and younger Barbies found on the shelves. There are more options for children, and children of different nationalities are now able to find toys that they can relate to. Word on the street is, there’s even some Barbie’s with a more believable waistline.
Sure. Barbie may be the symbol for lame girlyness, but at least the manufacturer is getting wise to changes in society and standards that allow shelves to not only be adorned by buxom blonde Barbie. If they had gone too far with the realism…well, I must say it would be quite shocking to see Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Barbie and College Dropout Ken in a playdate.
For children’s stories, toys, and activities, we can only expect so much realism. Let them grow up a little before we rip away their beliefs of fairy princesses, okay?
Haha! Those Barbies would be hilarious. What about overweight barbie with self-esteem issues? Or slut barbie, oh wait thats original barbie...lol
The overweight Barbie with self-esteem issues could have a self-riteous attitude and a cat named Rosco. Ok...I don't know where that came from..
Yeah, the Barbie of today certianly fits the slut category. Not all the time... Maybe we should call her "unrealistic male fantasy Barbie" instead?
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How about Social Anxiety Disorder Barbie? She wouldn't be able to be kept in the same place as all the other Barbies.
She and Introvert Barbie and Emo Barbie could chat about how life is unfair to them.
Nice addition, Saxplayer!
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Those barbies would be funny, but I really wish they would make them look alot better. I know barbie is a doll but she looks like she never ate in her life.lol I wish they had it were you could create your own barbie. I think that would be pretty cool. You could create it to look how you wanted it to look. It would be your own idea of beauty.
Something people should know about:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
Hey, that's a really good idea! "Create Your Own Barbie" ...just like the "Create your own Sundae" at Friendly's!
No really, kidding aside, that's pretty cool. There should be every skin color and body type available, a ton of hair colors and styles, or course there'll be choice of clothes...Jeez, toy manufacturers could make some money off of you, DrifterDani!
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I think that would help kids. They could even chose the body type they wanted... they may be too young to do that but hey I mean it may be more expensive to do that but it would be worth it. Each little kid would have a one of a kind doll. They could put what they wanted into a machine with help of their parents. Red dress brown hair with blonde highlights, put what color eyes they wanted, how big they wanted them, put what skin color they wanted. Curly hair, straight hair what ever. They really could make billions of dollars off that. lol. They already have a doll that craps so why not create a barbie doll? lol I have always had ideas like that because there was always something I have wanted to change about how things are...
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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I'm full of random improvement ideas too. In middle school I kept a book of "ideas and inventions". It was lame...but at least I was being creative in my free time.
The toy business really could make some money off of that idea. Not only would it be popular, but every piece would need to be purchased. There could even be "special edition" pieces of clothing and stuff.
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I believe so to. That is not dorky to keep an idea thing. That is pretty cool. I have always done so called "werid" things like that. How about me and you go talk to the toy company?lol
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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I had to give a 5 for this one. The way you started it was attention grabbing and true. When girls are little they think about being a princess and getting princess stuff. Well Barbie completes the princess dream. You can't wait to get one and take her home. You don't know that Barbie has boobs, butt, and small waist line. All you think about is a fairy doll. Well when you are little. But now society wants to really make toys realistic and demoralize children's fantasy world. Good blog.
I personally feel there should be a blend of fantasy and reality to create an acceptable middle point. Too much realism isn't good for children, but too much fantasy would give them the wrong expectations.
Thanks for the awesome rating!
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Great info! i had heard that barbie would have to walk on all fours due to her proportions...
I actually saw a pregnant, barbie-like doll at a tour bus store/restaurant in Europe once. I wish I had bought it. There was a little piece of the stomach that came off and you could take the baby in and out of it. I thought it was funny.
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
I have one of those, though mine is like from the forties or fifties. Who knows if this would even be allowed in this day and age? *gasp* Barbie and Ken didn't use protection!
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I remember it being a big deal when it came out a few years ago that Pregnant Barbie didn't have a ring on her finger.
They made a Wedding Barbie and every Pregnant Barbie that came out after that had a giant rock stuck on her left hand.
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Wow. Talk about being picky about details...
I didn't even know there was a recent Pregnant Barbie. I figured the only one was that antique I found among my grandma's stuff.
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http://www.amazon.com/Barbies-Friend-Midge-Pregnant-Tummy/dp/B0006M1ANI
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You are the Voice of the Childwen of the Revowution! [Toulouse, Moulin Rouge]
I agree that toys should represent society accurately , yet we don't want to rip away a child's youth and innocence. Let them discover certain things for themselves and be there for them when they have questions.
When I was a very young boy I was occassionally given a GI JOE doll. I am not sure if every single one of them met this fate but most died in combat as a result of an unpleasant encounter with napalm. A pint of gasoline makes a real mess out of a GI Joe. It was the Viet Nam War and all. Walter Cronkite and Dan Rather were showing that stuff on TV every night.
My little sisters occassionally had Barbies and I remember tormenting them from time to time by dismembering them. It seems like our toy boxes had almost as many limbs, heads and other doll body parts as they did whole dolls.
I suppose if Barbie had a life like anus it would have made it easier to shove a firecracker up her butt and blow her to bits. It seems kind of childish now but I'm sure that would have seemed outrageously funny back then. We blew up a lot of stuff although I don't recall ever actually blowing up a Barbie.
.......o....kay.
I'm not entirely sure where this came from...I guess my blog entry reminded you of some fond memories.
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I am about to laugh my guts out because I would have said the same thing to that comment. i'm sorry that was just great. Thanks for the laugh for today.
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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I'm here all night, folks!
I know it was meant to be funny but, this site is so addicting sometimes that, for me, the statement rings true... :-P
http://www.progressiveu.org/blog/sawaboof
"...There is a crushing guilt that comes with being a Catholic. Whether things are good or bad or you're simply... eating tacos in the park, there is always the crushing guilt."
-30 Rock-
I know what you mean. I feel like i practically live on this site nowadays... not a bad thing, per se, but progressiveu does take up a lot of my time.
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I thought I was the only one who was on here most spare moments. I would like to do other things but I feel like I just have to see what people will say about anything, or I get ideas.
I am here to inform and help:
http://www.progressiveu.org/032913-lupus-uncureable-wait-what
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This beginning was attention grabbing and hilarious. I definately agree that Barbies should be more realistic, but not realistic to the point that it would take away their innocence.
XOXO
Thanks for your comment.
This was what I was trying to convey. I'm glad you enjoyed this blog! I had fun writing it.
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Barbie always gets picked on ... poor thing... haha they made her more realistic by dumping Ken, yeah? I read somewhere that if she were real her dimensions would be like 36 40 36 or something like that anyway... I would buy a prostitute barbie just to tell people I had one ... so funny
Just to have one...and that's how the toy manufacturer could make a ton of money! Of course, this line of dolls would probably be geared towards the adult population....and sold in Spencers....next to the Chuckie dolls.
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nice...
thas funny..
but i actually miss being a lil girl playing with little perfect people..
actually she isnt perfect.. most of their legs and arms dont even bend lik real people.. lol.
i want a cracked out barbie.
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