After reading the comment the lady posted on my first blog about eating disorders I thought I should mention parts I forgot. It is weird to think I have forgotten some of the stuff, but it just becomes such a part of you that you don't see it as abnormal. Like the woman mentioned binge eating and night eating are always eating disorders. To me they actually were the hardest kind to stop. In fact, I still do both of them occasionally, but not as often as I did this summer. After I stopped purging I still continued to binge. I thought it was awful and I had never experience this much guilt in myself. I would eat and while I would eat I would cry. I would eat so much I would feel faint and occasionally just pass out on the kitchen floor. I couldn't get myself to purge anymore, so I tried laxatives... lots of them. It was a gross habit. One that led me to even having to get my blood checked for lack of electrolites at my yearly physical. As far as the night eating would go, thats when I would binge. After the day is over and I am either unhappy or I was bored. I remember in 3 months I gained over 30 lbs... which of course felt awful for me being a once anorexic and bulimic. So that is more of the truth and hoping it is educating someone somewhere.
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forgive yourself as well. Just remember you are your toughest critic. You have to take care of you--not by focusing on weight or clothes size but by focusing on the things about you that make you special. Break the tape in your head that tells you bad things. You have to change your brain chemistry each time those negative thoughts come. Treat your inner you as you would treat your child. Would you 'bitch' at your child if she were 5 pounds over weight? Or would you try to build your child's self esteem by showing her love and compassion and pointing out the good things about her. The key is two-fold you see? Be kind to yourself--as if you were healing the wounds of your inner child and break the tape of negative messaging going on inside your head.
Seek help too if you can't do this on your own.
It's tough what you described, but even owning up to it on a blog helps you work through it.
***The thing is, if you control the Senate meetings, you control the gavel. And the gavel is a very important instrument... an instrument of power. An instrument that establishes the agenda.
Dan Quayle former Republican VP of George Bush Sr***