Depression hurts. We all know this. We've all heard the commercials. We've seen the movies with the depressed teenagers. We've listened to the emo music.
But who really knows what depression is?
Until you've experienced it, you see depression as a bad case of the blues. But that's not it. It's an actual disease. A chemical inbalance in the brain. People with depression aren't just sad. We also lose enjoyment from things that once made us happy. We lose energy, and want to sleep all day, yet suffer from insomnia. We feel hopeless and worthless, even when getting an A on a test or a promotion at work. We have trouble concentrating and making decisions. We get sick a lot and have recurrent aches and pains. There is a change in appetite, and we lose or gain a lot of weight. There are thoughts of suicide, death, self-inflicted pain.
Nearly 7% of U.S. adults -- 15 million Americans -- suffer depression each year. Yet the other 93% know nothing of what we go through.
I have a good amount of friends. I get really good grades (I have a 3.6 GPA out of 4.0). I just got a raise at work, and my managers all like me (they don't respect me, but that's a different story.) I have a very good life that many people would like to have.
Yet I can't get out of bed in the morning. I cry myself to sleep every night. I cut myself with a box cutter in order to prove that the pain I feel inside can be felt on the outside as well.
I'm on Prozac. I've talked to a therapist. But I just cannot climb out of that black hole.
