How to Survive the 2008 Elections
Prepared by the Department of Safety Against the Wrong President (D-SAWP)
The following Precautions are to be taken in case of Wrong Candidate:
In case of President who supports Gun Control:
- Seek shelter immediately. DO NOT go outside: people with weapons will be prowling the streets for unprotected victims.
- Keep Self Defense texts and tools with you at all times. These are important because you will have no other means for protecting yourself against those with firearms. We recommend the following:
-Unconventional Warfare Devices and Techniques References-Department of Defense
In case of President who supports Universal Healthcare:
- Befriend a nurse and/or doctor. It will become very difficult to be seen by a healthcare provider.
- Keep an advanced first-aid kid with you AT ALL TIMES. As previously stated, it will be very difficult to get immediate medical attention.
In case of President who supports No Child Left Behind Act:
- If you have children, pull them out of school IMMEDIATELY. He/she will not be getting the education necessary to survive in the "real world."
- As a precaution, people who intend on having children who will start school within the time the president who supports NCLB will be in office should begin homeschool training so their children may get a decent education.
In case of President who supports Immediate Withdrawal from Iraq:
- Put your head between your legs and kiss your butt goodbye. If you do not feel this is necessary, please say your last goodbye to friends or family who are associated with the Iraq war as they will be in grave danger.
In the event that the people of the United States elect the Wrong Candidate, please follow the aforementioned precautions.
Please, Vote Responsibly.
Awareness kits can be picked up for free from your local D-SAWP office.
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(2 votes)
Lol... you rock. This was my humorous outlet for the day, which I really, desperately needed. Thank you. That's all I really have to say.
Well thank you :)
It's really embarrassing, I was laying in bed last night and I almost laughed out loud because I thought it would be such a cute post :)
I'm proud of it, lol
Thanks for the compliment.
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http://progressiveu.org/003838-the-girl-who-cried-rape-or-in-this-case-d...
*laughing*
The other day on Facebook, in response to "Who are you planning on voting for in the 2008 presidential?" someone said, "IKD... I'll just vote randomly when the time comes." *angry face at idiot who should stay home* I should send them this...
Thanks!
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"Smart" is definitely a relative term. I know a great many intelligent people who do a great many unintelligent things.
Oh my gosh! Are you serious?!
Why do people like that even get out of bed on Election day???
The thing that really cracks my egg is that those are the same people who complain about who becomes president, regardless of whether they voted for them or not. Ha.
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http://progressiveu.org/003838-the-girl-who-cried-rape-or-in-this-case-d...
I love you. Can we get married and have little sarcastic children?
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
Aww, I'm blushing.
No, literally, my cheeks are warm. :)
lol I figured you'd be one to enjoy this.
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http://progressiveu.org/003838-the-girl-who-cried-rape-or-in-this-case-d...
I am dead serious. We need to have little sarcastic children to be sure that our sarcasm outlives us. Obviously, we need to begin working on that homeschooling degree, but switching from Biochemical Engineering to Teaching shouldn't be too difficult.
Glad I could elicit a smile, though. That's my main goal in the world.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
That is a good goal to have.
Don't worry, I'm working on my Education degree... we'd be good to go! ha.
I'm scared where public education is going... especially if the NCLB lives on... who are our future heroes going to be?
They're all going to be drooling idiots and there is no doubt in my mind that Homer Simpson will become a god. That is, if we don't do something to fix these brats. Which is why I want to become a teacher...
anyway, my point to saying all that is if we had little sarcastic children they'd be well educated or mommy would raise her fist. :)
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http://progressiveu.org/003838-the-girl-who-cried-rape-or-in-this-case-d...
I've got a decent IQ. I think our little sarcasm-children will do alright. They get your looks, my intellect, our sarcasm...man...the world will be run by us, vicariously through our sarcastic-brain children, of course.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
My looks? How would you know anything about my looks? ;)
Wait a minute... I thought you were anti-utopia. Sounds like our kiddies would be perfect... if we could only find one more "perfect" breeding couple, we could eventually create a perfect society! But then Nick would have to go kill them all because a utopia would be boring ;)
Wait... my looks and your intellect? Are you trying to say something about my intellect here??
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http://progressiveu.org/003838-the-girl-who-cried-rape-or-in-this-case-d...
You're a girl. You've got to look better than me. If you're not a girl, then, so much for my little kiddies.
And it would be a dis-topia. Just because our kids are perfect doesn't mean anything about how fucked up the rest of the world is.
My intellect because I am god, See current poll, and therefore must know everything. 11% of the people see me as god. I can't help it.
Nicholas Aden
Self-Promotion
This was crazy awesome and totally made my day. Or....night. Since it's 10:30 pm.
Why thank you!
You must be on the East coast because when you posted this it was only 7:30 for me :)
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http://progressiveu.org/003838-the-girl-who-cried-rape-or-in-this-case-d...
Hahaha wow, that was great!
I totally agree.. people vote just to say they did it and dont fear the consequences. Like when I was signing up to vote in my school they asked if we were Democrat or Republican and half the kids said Democrat..why?? Oh i dont know...GREAT! Nothing against democrats its just...know what you stand for and why...Very well written. I can always appreciate someone with a sarcasm like mine..lol
Why were they asking if you guys were democrat/republican??
That's kind of weird.
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http://progressiveu.org/143541-how-to-survive-the-2008-elections
This was great. (Except for the bit on universal health care...I don't quite agree with that. I'm not going to go into it here but suffice to say that I think it's a good idea with bad execution.)
The NCLB act part made me laugh, and then feel bad for laughing because it's so true.
Very sad, but definitely true. lol.
Thanks!
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If You Swear That There's No Truth And Who Cares, How Come You Say It Like You're Right? [Bright Eyes]
http://progressiveu.org/143541-how-to-survive-the-2008-elections