You know how when something scares the life out of you, you can literally feel the look of fear in your eyes? Well I know that fear very well and I have to live with it until I can get over the fact that no sane person that says they love me actually wants to hurt me.
I was with this guy for two years and I thought I was in love. Thinking about it now, it was more like I was told that I was in love. But I started to realize that love should not include fear. I should not have to be afraid of the person I supposedly loved and supposedly loved me back. But I was. I was doing anything I possibly could to keep my head above water just so I could be with this person. Not only did I feel like I was drowning in life but I had to deal with the fear of upsetting this person. I was walking on egg shells just so I didn't have to worry about getting hit or cussed out at. After two years I realized that this was not going in the right direction. It was going in a direction where I was about to find myself dead because of this "love."
Now everytime I feel a similar situation as to where I feel like I might have gotten hit by that person I feel the fear in my eyes. I know others can see it but for right now I can't stop that fear. Its not their fault that they scare me and its not mine that I feel scared. But I can help others prevent themselves from being placed in a situation where fear flashes in their eyes. Its not a good situation to be in but now that I have been put in the situation the least I can do is help.
Don't let the fear flash in your eyes...at the first sign of any abuse whether it be physical, verbal, or sexual-- get out. Unless you want to live your life with the fear flashing in your eyes.
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Its good you got out when you did. Hopefully, some one will read this and decide to leave an abusive relationship. :)