Sept 4, 1996 9:30 pm
I was just reading some of my old journal entries. It was painful to resurface so many bad memories but it is better. What I found out is I am happier now then when I was first writing them. I have someone to love and that love grows stronger every day. I don't know what the future hold for me. I just live it day by day, and hope for the best.
T
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I was just reading some of my old journal entries. It was painful to resurface so many bad memories... Wait is that not what I am doing now? Am I happy? As happy and one can be in my current state, and I wish I could figure what state that is. I this the best way to sum it up is to quote Mr Buffett "It feel like I am stuck on a sandbar." Right now it is calm. There are no major problems, but also nothing exciting. Just waiting for the next thing to happen. We will just have to wait and see.
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Sept 8, 1996 9:34 pm
It is true, money can not solve all of you problems but it can help eliminate some of them. Tomorrow I get to got to a job that I don't really care for but it pays my bills. I had a job that I liked that was letting me do something I enjoyed, but I got screwed. It was graphic design and the company I was working for could not afford to keep me. So I got let go. The trouble was I was not there long enough to get the 2-3 years expensive that most people want, and I can not afford to buy a good computer to get the experience on my own.
And to top this day off, I won't be going to see Val this weekend. Her sister had a baby and they are going to visit her up in Wisconsin. I have not seen sense the 5, of July and it is starting to really bug me. I miss her and I really need her to hold me so I can feel completely at ease.
T
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I don't care how big or how bad guys can think they are. They will always have times when the just want to be held. We just want to be reassured that everything is going to be alright. That is what hurts the most about being lonely, not having anyone to hold and being held. It is not the kissing and not the sex, but just having that closeness of another human being. They don't say " to have and to hold" just for nothing. Look an all the songs that have "hold me" in the title. It is a universal theme. There are times when people can not deal with there problems alone and need some one to hold.
Hold me = Help me
