With in vitro fertilization, eggs are removed from the mother, fertilized, and then several are placed back into the mother's womb. It is an expensive procedure, costing about $10,000 for each treatment. As such, there is often a very emotional aspect of it.
What if the mother were implanted with the wrong egg? What if she nurtured the egg and eventually gave birth to the baby? What if the other woman, the one who the mother's eggs were implanted, had a miscarriage?
It seems the focus of fiction, but it has happened. The mother, a white woman, gave birth to black twins. The other woman did not give birth to any children. When this mixup was discovered and reported to both couples, the black couple obviously wanted custody of their biological children. The white parents did want to keep the child. So who should be given custody?
Similar cases have happened before, perhaps more than is comfortable. It poses an interesting legal question, though. Does the mother who deals with the pregnancy and the costs associated with it earn the right to raise the child, or does the biological mother have more rights?
On one hand, I think the birth mother should have rights. I mean, she dealt with all the hormones and felt that connection with the baby for 9 months; she should be able to take care of the child throughout the rest of its life. And, in cases of in vitro fertilization, the birth mother was nearing desperation in trying to conceive. Taking the child away from her after she finally managed grow the child is just cruel.
On the other hand, the biological mother also paid for the in vitro, and had to deal with the loss of the child that did not take in the process. To then learn that you do have a child gives a spark of hope. In the cases that are found, the child is often a different race from the birth mother, as well. This brings in the concern of the child being raised in a culture very different from their 'genetic' culture.
Also to consider in these cases is the fact that both 'mothers' have had fertility problems in the past. Perhaps the birth mother simply had a problem with her genes that caused a rejection of each child she tried to conceive. Perhaps the biological mother is physically incapable of nurturing an embryo, and so further treatments would be futile in attempting to have a child.
So, who should get the child? I'm more inclined to say the biological mother, though I cannot bring myself to make a sweeping generalization. In the end, I think each case should be taken on an individual basis, and the best interests of the child be considered in making the ruling.
What are your thoughts on this... unique instance of custody?
I believe the biological mother should get the children. Maybe there can be some sort of pay out from the hospital for the family who had to go through the pregnancy and all the costs and pains of it. I really do believe though that the biological parents should have the babies because plain and simple, it wasn't their fault the hospital messed up. They deserve the child because it is technically theres, the birth mother just hosued it for 9 months. I couldn't imagine somebody else having my baby and not being able to have it.
How would you feel on the other side, though? If you were pregnant for 9 months, thinking the entire time that you were having your baby, and then you had to give it up because the fertility clinic messed up... would you feel any better about giving up the baby than if you had a failed IVF treatment, and then found out you did have a baby by another woman? The woman with the failed IVF treatment has already mourned the loss of her child...
~C
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I honestly believe that I would give the baby to the biological mother. I would have given birth after nne months yes, but I would also know that whole time it really wasn't my child. I can't really say for sure considering I have never even been pregnant but I think that a child belongs with their biological mother in this situation. It isn't the biological mother's fault that the hospital messed up, I wouldn't hold it against her.
But not all of them know. The case I initially cited were pretty certain early on, but no DNA testing was done, and it wasn't until the child was born that they knew for certain it wasn't their's. So, if you were pregnant with a child you thought was yours, and then found out AFTER BIRTH that the child was not yours, would you be so inclined to give it up?
It's not about whose fault it was, it's about the fact that you have bonded with the child. It's completely different from a surrogate carrying a child for another couple... they know in the end that they will give up the baby. But for someone who believes they are having their own child, it's a completely different case.
And, you know, the best place for the child may not be with the biological mother.
~C
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Speaking from someone who has gone through the IVF process, It is painful and very emotional. Not to mention the cost. We spent over 25,000 for one procedure.
due to my age it was agreed that IVF was the best way to go. My tubes had been tied after having my 21 year old. When I remarried, my husband wanted kids of his own. First we tried untying my tubes. which was a cost of 10,000 dollars alone. Obviously my tubes remained blocked or I would not have had to have IVF done.
If I had found out that I had labored and carried someone else's baby, I would want that person to have it. I would also demand that the procedure be done again at the fertility clinic's cost. Since it was there fault that the mix up happenned in the first place.
I know the biological mother isn't always the best, but for in vitro cases usually it is. I know I really can't ever know unless this situation happens to me but I still think even if I bonded with the child over nine months I would still give it to the biological mother. It was her egg and her husbands sperm, I just believe that is what I would do. I really don't know for sure though until it happens to me though.
This is a really tough question, but I'm inclined to say it would be better for the child to be with the parents they've already begun to bond with. I believe both set of parents should be reimbursed and/or receive additional treatments for free, if the hospital makes such a mistake. Regardless of the out come, I'm sure it would be a difficult situation for both sets of parents.
"Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise, risking more than others think is safe, dreaming more than others think is practical, and expecting more than others think is possible."
I'm also more inclined to say that the woman who went through with the pregnancy deserves to keep the child. However, I wonder what things will be like later on. Will the child, eventually realizing he/she isn't the same color and mommy, have an identity crisis because of this? This is a very difficult question, and it was a great topic to choose. Now I'm going to be thinking about this hypothetical situation all day!
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