I've always viewed love as something divine. You can't control when it happens or when it hits you... it just does. You could fall in love with someone you never considered to be a person you could relate with, or it could be someone you share some qualities with. But one of the books I'm reading for a class asks me to re-evaluate love. Personally, I still believe that if you truly love someone, then you can make it work between you, even if the circumstances aren't the greatest and the statistics are against you. But here is what the book was telling me:
Only 6% of marriages are interracial. Now, this doesn't surprise me all that much, but then my professor asked us if we would ever consider seriously dating someone of a different race. To my surprise, several individuals in the class said they wouldn't mind, but they would rather prefer someone in their own race. I was kind of shocked. I've dated two guys of a different race and I never thought anything of it.
95% of Americans will marry someone who is in their social class, or only one away. This just tells me that money is the key factor in relationships and love, and to me, that is extremely sad. I understand that you want to be comfortable in life and you need security, but just because someone doesn't make as much money as you doesn't mean you should count them out. They could be really passionate about what they do.
Most of us will marry someone who is within three years of our age. I'm not exactly sure about this one. I have tons of friends who are dating people five years older than them, and to me it doesn't seem like such a big deal. I guess it depends on maturity level. Now, I'm not really for people dating someone who is ten years older or younger, but I don't think five or six is so bad.
So the conclusion I've come to is that love, as a feeling, has lost some meaning in our world. It has been socialized and we are being told who we should associate with, date, and fall in love with. It just doesn't seem to be about feelings anymore. There are tons of people who marry rich just for security. What ever happened to true love?
Love has lost its true meaning! I have dated guys that are not my race but to be honest, i'd rather date guys of my race. I have dated a guy that was eight years older then me. Honestly, I really would like to marry someone that has at least gotten an Associates Degree. Or someone with a decent job. I don't want to become a doctor ar anything I just want a decently high position in a zoo so I would expect my husband to do about the same, or higher.
I agree with you
the people who only marry or date someone for money makes me sick
like i know some girls who always say oh my boyfriend will pay for it
where do they get the idea that your boyfriends money is for you to spend?
i personally hate when my boyfriend dustin pays for everything like i have to say
im going to pay for it even though he says he has it..
i mean he worked hard for his money he shouldnt have to waste it on me
I can understand the class statistic on a personal level, though not in the same way that has already been mentioned. Right now, I'm in my first-ever relationship with someone outside my class. No, I'm not one of those girls that always went for the guys with money... Quite the opposite. I grew up working class and I've always, until now, dated (or married) working class men and women.
On the other hand, my boyfriend grew up fairly well off. His parents pull in a hefty 6-figure income and at one point his dad was even a mayor. I love my boyfriend, and I absolutely adore his family, but I could tell from the moment I met them there were going to be difficulties. Its the unspoken cultural rules that get us, and you don't realize the rules are there until somebody breaks them. Unfortunately, me and him always do seem to stumble all over them when we're out with each others families.
For example, I couldn't understand how, when my parents took us out to eat on a special occasion, he could be so rude and order an expensive entree. But expensive is a relative term. Then his parents freaked out a little when I tracked muddy water from the snow onto his parents tile floor while we were moving some of his stuff to store there. But we've realized that these are cultural rules associated with our respective classes, and we're trying to do our best to teach each other what not to do.
But I think when it comes down to it, its just easier to build a life with someone who already knows all the hidden rules of your own culture.
~~Every human heartbeat is a universe of possibilites.~~
Gregory David Roberts