Well, the holiday season is upon us once more. It's hectic trying to get everything done; all the presents bought and wrapped, Holiday funtime, baking cookies, Christmas caroling, and all the family get together's you have to somehow make it through. It drives me crazy!!! It's the most stressful time of year. And if I see one more holiday feel good movie where everything works out in the end and everybody realizes the true meaning of Christmas, I just might take an AK47 to the rooftop of our nearest mall and start knocking off the most joyous looking of holiday shoppers.
You may be thinking bah humbug, huh? But it's not like that at all. I love Christmas because of my kids. But other than that, sometimes I really think I hate Christmas!!! It's a sad thing to say, but I hate the stress of trying to get everyone the perfect gift or hoping that we have enough money to get our kids at least the most important things on their list. I hate the movies. I hate the holiday cheer. I hate the hectic shopping with lethal shoppers willing to do anything for the last of the toys they need on their list. One year I got bit by some woman trying to get the last doll that I was reaching for. Really, it happened to me on Christmas eve three years ago. Another year I went shopping on Black Friday, the friday after Thanksgiving, and my car slid on the ice past a parking spot which happened to be the only parking spot in the mall parking lot for two miles, and I tried backing up. A car turned the corner and was behind me and we waved our hands for them to move back and they shook their head and just sat there. It must be the holiday cheer. Other than that, it's too bad that I hate Christmas.
I would love to feel like I did when I was little, they way I see my kids experiencing Christmas.
I know better now, and now I'm on the grownup end of Christmas, but it would be nice to feel like I did when I was little. Not being able to sleep the night before Christmas because you absolutely know that you're going to miss Santa, and you want to get a glimpse of that sleigh instead of not sleeping because you're wrapping the gifts "from Santa." The excitement of waking up and seeing all the gifts that weren't there the night before. The joy of getting the perfect gift. I do remember feeling that way, it would just be nice to actually feel that way again.
I want to love Christmas again. I really do. I want to see Christmas through the eyes of my children. I want to see it the way they do. I guess it's the Peter Pan syndrome coming out in me...you know, not wanting to grow up. But sometimes, growing up sucks, big time, expecially right now when all you're supposed to feel is joy and love, but all I feel is stress and resentment.
