today, is exciting for me. today is my best friends birthday. since i started college last fall and moved into the dorms on campus i've been away from the one person in my life that has understood me the most. we haven't even really KNOWN each other that long, but shes the best thing that has ever happened to me. over the summer last year we became really close and i miss that closeness that we had before we both moved away to college. we are now on separate ends of the state and it sucks. i miss her so much. but today she's going back to our hometown and so am i. it will be the only time this weekend that i get to see her at all. it sucks, but at least i'm happy about the other part of the weekend. for the first time in four months i am going to my mom's house. in the past four months me and my mom had a falling out. she got angry with me when she found out that i drink, smoke (both cigarettes and weed), and have sex. she thinks this was some secret life i was living and never saw it coming. her mistake in this whole thing was blaming it all on my dad. my blames everything that goes wrong in her life on my dad. my mom and dad have been divorced for 10 years now. they got a divorce because my mom cheated on him and he found out. my dad walked out of our house when i was 10 years old with only $65 in his pocket and two baskets of his clothes. in my opion my dad is the better of the two parents. he's always been supportive and loving no matter how bad i fuck up. since my parents have been divorced i've lived with both parents and seen it from both perspectives and it sucks that even now as i'm about to turn 20 my mom still makes me feel like i have to choose. its hard to try to please the two people that brought you into this world. as a full time student and working part time, its hard to keep a social life as well as please your parents. well, when my mom was enlightened about my "secret life" she flipped out and said some hateful and hurtful things. i walked out of her house that day in early november of 2007 and haven't talked to her until three days ago. it wasn't an arguement...which is what the last conversation i had with her was...it was nice. we TALKED about what was on our mind instead of SCREAM it. we took the RAP for our OWN mistakes, istead of BLAME OTHERS. we talked about the PRESENT, instead of the PAST. it was really nice and afterward it made me cry to think that it took four months for that to happen. for the first time in four months i have felt happy and less stressed. everything that was stressing me in my life somehow revolved around my problems with my mom to me. my school, living situation, family, everyting. so now its nice to talk to my mom again. i didn't realize how much i missed her till i talked to her on tuesday.
So hopefully this weekend is the weekend that i've been hoping for. i get to see my best friend and my mom and the rest of my family...what else could go wrong.
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Sounds like fun. We really need good friends, to help us cope with both the good times and the bad. It's hard to find someone who is always there for you, even when it's inconvenient.
http://progressiveu.org/blog/leslieq
Check it out...it's a work in progress.