So I just began a job at a domestic violence shelter for women and children....
It is hard to know what to say about this: the first thing I think as I look at the faces of each of these women, each of these children, is "How in the world could anyone abuse you?" Sure, everyone who lives here as an issue or two...some have used drugs, some are drunks, some have even committed crimes...
However, everyone I know has some issues, and none of that ever gives anyone the right to abuse...
These women have been so brutilized, some of them, that they are terrified of men...they are petrified and live with a constant flood of catacolimens (stress hormones,) in their bloodstreams....
Yesterday the building across the street was on fire and you could feel the fear and nerviousness in the women...when your life is living in a constant state of chaos and fear, you naturally react much more strongly to stressors....
One of the women who lives here is dying from cancer...she is here because her husband shot her with the intention of killing her....
Some of these women are pregnant...many have small kids...and I wonder...who are these men who do these things? Where does domestic violence come from? I know lots of men...some nice, some not so nice, but none the sort of men I could imagine shooting someone with cancer or driving his wife away because she is so afraid of him....
What is so off-kilter in our world that men like this exist? How can abuse exist?
Love,
Sycamore Fitch
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"It's the law of the jungle, You'll get used to it.
Robin Williams as Alan Parish
Jumanji (1995)
Humans have evolved to survive in harsh conditions.
Our genetics are suitable for winning in a kill or be killed environment. Civilization is just a blip on the historical radar screen. The good news is that the most brutal of our survival traits are being eliminated as each generation passes. The throw backs to genetic and cultural violence have a better chance of being killed or put into prison for their breeding years. Also fewer of them have the chance to raise their own children and teach the values they learned.
When I read your post I also thought of those children. Did the fathers abuse their children as well? Not that the women's abuse isnt important, but that abuse to the child will last thier entire lifetime...... thank you for working at such a depressing environment. Remember the women are there to get away from the abuse - so bring a smile to their day. The stress will not always be there it will sooner or later become extinct in their brain, hopefully.
"Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death." - Patrick Dennis
I wish I can have a job like that. I too wonder how some men can be so cruel that they can hurt the defenseless women and young children. I've heard people say all the time how women should be treated. Yet, I still see many partners abuse each other physically and emotionally. If you don't like someone (anymore) when the love there is lost, why bother keeping that person around?