I wonder what drives people to blogging..too much free time? too many thoughts to write down?
Whatever the reason...i figured i would give this a shot..
I'm a desi confused by amerika even after living there for two years.. I love amerika and the people that i've met here, the frends that i've made here, and the tonnes of experiences in college that make me feel i've lived there forever..
Then I come back to my motherland, which I love even more..because here's what everything makes sense to me, here's where I even love the policemen who I can bribe for 200 rupees to get out of trouble...this is the place i've lived for 17 years...this is the place i want to live for the rest of my life..this is the place i want to do something for ..to grow old..to die ...but not now... 
i think about this a lot as i'm on vacation in india for two weeks and thats all people ask me about. After the tenth person asked me " Are u going to settle there or are u coming back to ur motherland" ?, and i gave them the reply i gave everyone, ," I want to come back, I will , but not for the next 4 years. ". It usually satisies all sorts of people and keeps me out of trouble and unneccessary discussion about people who think they know a lot, but dont know a fuck, and probably have hypocritacal feelings about kids settling abroad. I doubt half of them would give me such sadvachan if it came to their own kids. Most of them want their kids in 'amreeka' and sending them tonnes of dollaaahssss..I decided to think about what I would do. Honestly, I dont know...not right now..
the dollars dont tempt me, not the conveniences, the cool weather, nothing...
but the life i'm living for the first time on my own, the frends that i have made for life..are all in amerika....the country's taught me to be my own person...i dont have to pretend..i'm used to the people there..the independence there...the fun there..
i come here for a two week vacation and my school frends are all over india and all over the world infact, or are planning to move sometime soon. By the time i graduate, i'll be leaving a lot more people by coming back here than i'll be reuniting with...it bothers me
But i cant imagine living the rest of my life there...i want to be an indian in India..i want to play holi, celebrate diwali, the way its supposed to be celebrated...not in some corner quietly in a suburban area where no one can hear us or see us so we wont get into trouble...
i want my family to be with me...i want to have the luxury of real indian food. Living away from your country teaches u a lot. teaches you the importance of things..you dont miss it till u have it right..
i'm not going to be a tourist in my own country...
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