What is it that people expect when they come to college?
Im not quite sure what I was expecting when I started college. I suppose I went in with the notion of college being the best years of my life where I would make lots of friends for life and eventually come out with a degree. Although college is all of this, I came to find out, there is actually a lot more to college than brochures or orientations can tell you.
I have witnessed firsthand how everything can change in an instant. Relationships fade, home is redefined, you think a lot, not just about school, but about yourself. In college, you get used to spending an entire day being alone and under hugged. I have become very familiar with certain smells. For instance, go no further than down the stairs and you will be exposed to the constant stench of BO and weed. The boys down there are smelly! HA! Studying has a whole new meaning, you think you studied in high school? Class has a whole new meaning and feeling, I can actually catch up on my gossip with the latest tabloid headline on aim.com while copying slides off the course website. It's beautiful. But I guess above all, with my first semester coming to a close, I have learned more about myself than I ever have before.
In sociology we talked about a man who sailed by himself across the Atlantic Ocean from America to Europe. When asked about his trip he answered, never in my life have a learned more about people. The irony of this reply is that he was completely alone, but in being alone he learned how people need people to be people. Somehow in being alone, I learned how connected we all are to each other. I try in vain to figure out the endless paradox of how hate can exist when we are all in this together. I have yet to find an answer; I can't quite figure that one out.
In witnessing change with a blink of the eye, I have learned that we have to hold on like hell to whatever we have now, because it could be gone tomorrow. Most of the time, this change is not something you are aware of, I did not even recognize it until I thought of where I was in life when I came to CU and where I am now. With everything I gain I lose a little along the way. This is what makes change scary, it makes us unsure of what we might lose. Home to me is the comfort I lost along the way, and when I go home, I can feel safe again.
It makes me sad when people say they don't like to go home anymore. I am not saying everyone should feel the same, it just makes me sad. The thing about going home is it is so familiar. Every street I drive down there are memories to match them, every park I walk in there is a story to be told. Home is a part of me, and I could never imagine disregarding that part of me.
These memories of home are bittersweet, because even though these memories will be preserved forever, I can never have them again. My relationships with others have changed, people change, life goes on.
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That was a really good blog...I'm going to be entering college this fall don't know where yet but it's good to hear the side of college that you don't hear about.