I'm so accustomed to giving advice to others, and being there for my friends. It's such a horrible feeling to realize that when I need a shoulder to cry on, and some good advice, I've got no one to reach out to. I need a compassionate look as I spill my heart out to someone who is rubbing my back, and hugging me, and telling me it's all alright, just because they're there for me. I can't rely on my family, or my best guy friend, just because it seems that I tend to surround myself with selfish people who emulate the worst aspects of my family; specifically my mother. Why is that? I'm such a compassionate person, but I have failed to find any compassionate friends.
I'm sure, that as always. I'll tuff it out and survive, but sometimes that doesn't seem good enough. Sometimes, when I realize I missed out on all the times in a person's life when they usually have someone there fo them, it makes me so sad. I worry about the furture, because of my past. How can I be a good mother if I never experienced what a good mother should be? How can I be truely unselfish when I've never been around someone for an extended time who wasn't completely selfish in every aspect? I worry if I should even have children; what if I subject them to the same emotional and mental damage that my mother subjected me to before realizing my error?
I worry. A lot.
- Inept (needs a hug)
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wow i feel that way 2 sometimes.. i'm also someone who gives so much advice for my friends, and im usually the shoulder they cry on..